Many things are surreal in this deeply dark evil Hollywood culture where sex sells, adultery is commonplace, violence is pushed by a propoganda media. I have truth… God is real and still in control and increasingly all there is that is truth, good, pure, holy, perfect, light. And there is the reality of homemade pie. It shines it’s own light to those you cook it for (even if you can’t have any right now). So trust in and stay close to God and make a pie for someone. There is light to give there.😄❤
It never ceases to amaze me how much life changes. In love, out of love, in love and married, disaster hits, divorce, in love and married, changing times. And that is just one topic.
Maturing physically then maturing spiritually then blowing both and restarting and in and out of churches and roles in them and that is just one more topic.
No kids then one kid then another comes along and they grow then I am homeschooling them and have them 24/7 as they keep growing and changing and that is just one topic.
It goes on and on and these things and growing and maturing and changing goes on all at the same time. And in the middle somewhere is trying hard not to just survive but to also do music and write and heal and share faith as gifted to allow God to work through me as He made me to do. And the new reality of life looks so very different than it did even three years ago. Just so different. People come and go from life- key people you thought were staples of existence- just leave. New people arrive and old relationships are restored. Forgiveness happens. Amazingly, God keeps up with all the changes and keeps loving and helping and protecting us all. Incredible. And I am realizing the greatness applied from God is so very real in this skin, in this home, in this church, in this city. And God is not a powerful entity far from us in space somewhere, moody and irrational and distant unless we do exactly what He demands. He is right here, right now, loving and pulling us to Him for rest and comfort and peace and safety and never surprised by anything but ever eager for our choice to be to love Him back. How I love Him! ❤
In my younger days, I watched a lot of movies and read a lot of fairy tales. While imagination is an amazing spark for the mind to bloom in, there is a disconnec between that which we wish were real and that which really is. My very very visual and imaginative mind can paint such a picture that I often have not been able to see the difference. But one thing I had to respect about my Daddy was his realness, his tangibility. You always knew where he stood because he was never hiding anything. He was a truth teller, a very real man. He did not romance my mom but he always provided for her and we were never without what we needed. He was not a flatterer but always worked hard to pay the bills. He did not promote sensitivity of emotion, but he worked the soil with a love of nature he passed down to me. There is a difference sometimes between what the heart expects and longs for than what it really can ever get a hold of. But since Daddy left this earth, I have a much greater appreciation for that which surrounds me now. I appreciate the messiness and loudness of my children as well as their strong minds. I appreciate that my husband keeps a roof over our heads and food in the fridge for me to prepare. I appreciate friends who are ho est with me when I have talked too much. I appreciate breaking the silence with a very real laugh. I appreciate the breaking of leaves and twigs u der my feet as I hike through the wooded trails. I love Jesus’ honesty all throughout Scripture and when He answers prayers. I can wait forever for a maybe of some fantasy world or live life in a beautiful and very real reality now. My dad was real. And though my mom may have longed for some of the novel romantic gestures so easy to grasp as natural, she could never have had a more loyal, trustworthy, completely devoted man who kept her health and home a priority even above his own life. There is a real romance in that,no deception, just a refreshingly frank and real reality of love in action. Other than a good meal, he expected nothing but continued giving to the last. I had to tell him I would look after mom before he would leave his body that had finished a while ago. The will he had to the last was the will to care for his wife. Sacrificial love to the end. Appreciated and recognized or not, he did not care but he would be true to his heart and love her the best he could. That is heroic. And in a very etherial way, was a real and tangible romantic love, seemingly practical but unadulterated by sticky to the and buttery lips. Real is better.
I am a hopeless romantic. I freely admit it. In an ideal world, one man would meet one woman and their souls bond and they can feel each others’ feelings and understand each others’ minds. There would be a commonality of understanding and deep acceptance of each other so strong that obstacles would just bounce off the firmness of their mutual commitment and mutual resolution shield. Their emotional and physical attachment would be so involved that nothing else on that planet would deter the two from their course with each other. They would share life missions, serve together, grow together, keep no secrets from each other. And this is how my mind works. I believe this to be true. So imagine my amazement when I started dating and even got married when none of this was reality. lol Most men do romance to do bedroom and that’s it. Most men want to do their own thing and a woman plays a supporting roll only and not a costar part. Most men have their mission, driven internally, and a mutual anything is out of the question unless it matches exactly with their already established mission. And this is true of most men. And if you think it is not of yours, then maybe you in fact have one of the rare and endangered men who are the exception or you have not waited long enough to see it yet. But oh, this is highly disturbing. You are speaking negatively of the opposite sex, our lord and masters. Not really. I believe we are wired differently, just pointing out a major difference. God made men to focus more on mission, on success, on goals, one thing at a time more often than not. It is not always bad. But it is different than the picture Hollywood paints in its very many romantic dramas and romantic comedies I grew up watching. You start to think that is reality and are shattered when it doesn’t play out that way. Well, romance is still very real but looks a bit different than you imagined. Romance might just be a note in the middle of the day or a call (even unromantic) checking in or buying something you like out of the blue or playing you a song out of nowhere. Romance is a series of reminders, whatever that looks like, that you matter to them. And any at all is better than a lot of women get, so be thankful when you see such behavior and encourage it. Lower your romance requirement and demands and they can meet and exceed those much more often. Be romantic first, they may not know how or how with you. Don’t give up or get frustrated if it doesn’t happen immediately. Good things come to those who wait. My romantic heart still beats the same and wants the same inside but outside it has learned to be content with less until more can come at the right time… mostly… (the “hopeless” part- lol)…
Isn’t it an ironic thing that sometimes when we are at our busiest and surrounded by the most people, we can feel the most alone. And sometimes when things have eased up a little and can relax and should be grateful for the break, we feel unrest and ornery. Feelings are hormone driven and stress causes overuse of hormones. That is the doctor talking. The reality is that feelings are very different than text book definitions and reasoning. Much of life can not be nicely folded into a neat package, prepared for royal functions. I have heard preachers say to do the right thing and the feelings will work themselves out or act your way into feeling. These sound good if you are unemotional. However, those of us who do not drown our emotions in text and suppression fare rather bleakly at such an unemotional view of life. Life is not, for us, some explanation. We are led through life by our compassion and passion balance with the text. Sometimes the balance gets knocked off and the emotions rule the moment. As ugly as that can be, it is what it is. There is sterile explanation and rich passionate strokes, and where balance is ideal, it is not always possible. However, and here is the rub, we are responsible for our actions and not how we feel about them. We do the right things despite our feelings, in the face of them, and that my friend is a very special sort of bravery. God honors that. God knows our emotions can easily rule us, especially under stress, and He knows what we go through to not act on what they lead us to sometimes. Life gives us the incredible opportunities to be incredibly brave and good in extreme ugliness. God, the Giver of life, is actually the Giver of these gifts. He loves how He made us and He promises not to give us more than we can bear. So, if it feels like it is more than you can bear and it feels overwhelming, we have to recognize that as not part of the gift but part of the enemy’s distraction. So, then we have a choice on how much of our brain to use versus our heart. Overwhelmed is a lie. No matter how real it feels, overwhelmed is a lie and we can choose not to believe that lie. It’s funny how emotions work. They are like toddlers and can change in an instant with one occurrence or controlled thought. We can bravely think our emotions out of control and mostly it is a letting go of pride to believe that lie is a lie.