Rehashing Days Passed

Thinking about my life’s journey has been a repetitive occurrence of late. I have wanted to leave no stone unturned in confessing forgotten sins I have gotten away with or just have forgotten and maybe didn’t even realize at the time. And overall I believe my life has been like everyone else’s in that I have done really great things and have amazing memories and I have been pretty much scummy also at times. I have said beautiful words that have inspired and I have said careless words that have cut people to the quick. I have told the truth and I have lied. I believe this is everyone’s story with just the details different.

For my part, I am ashamed of the sins in my life and am truly sorry for them. And I wish I could go door to door and confess but I don’t know where all over the world some moved to or last names now or whatever so have to rely on God to help them forgive me.

But I praise God where He has given me grace and mercy. There is no sin too little or too great that His grace cannot cover it with His forgiveness and purify us with His blood. He is perfectly capable of restoring our souls where we are at our level. And He can and will restore our souls in heaven someday soon. And all the regrets and sadness of people lost and loneliness and hurt and every ugly thing will instantly be forgotten and us restored to full life in our incredible Jesus Christ. And that day is soon and I long for it for my family.

At the same time, I have sadness for those left behind. It will get harder, much harder, when that happens. And I want everyone to be saved, as God also wants every precious soul saved. He loves us oh so much.

So, I guess my thoughts on my past are really a distraction. I am made right by God through the sacrifice of Jesus and I have a job to do now. So onward I go and keep moving forward and someday it will be moving up. Praise God, everyone. Praise Him, friend. I thank Him for you and remind you how greatly you are loved and considered precious!❤

Caught in the Deep

I get lost in deep thoughts, profound ponderings, all of various themes and levels of depth. And just as my mind is verging on a solution to cancer or world peace or even more important the salvation of souls, I am interrupted with “Mom, I am hungry” or “Where are you?” Or “I need you”. The shallow needs of life my family wants from me, wants to live in. My son will delve into the depths with me sometimes but the exception rather than the rule. The shallow has always bored me, wasted my time, broken my visions, torn me away from meaningful to menial. Most people, I find, prefer shallow, fearful of the deep somehow, fearful of their ideas sounding weird, not understanding that the deep remains eternally while the shallow will disappear. The deep is everything. The deepest deep is God. I want Him. I want to delve into deeper understanding.and worship. This is never boring. This is what it is about. Everything is God. It all should be about and for Him. I am caught in His deep. ❤❤❤

Current Thoughts

I am a studier and appreciate of people, mostly because it impresses and amazes me how unique and detailed people are and how incredible God is for making every person so beautifully on purpose with love. But anyway, I love to know what people are thinking because it is fascinating. And so I am sharing my thoughts and maybe someone will reciprocate on their blog and I can be amazed and enjoy learning something new. So, here I was sitting here alone in my bed in the dark and quiet. I hear the clock ticking, cars fly by on the highway in the distance, an occasional annoying night flight on a pretty loud airplane or helicopter, birds who must have a nest of eggs or baby birds tweeting in the tree close to the house. I am just beginning to (for the millionth time) wish I lived in the country somewhere and not so close to the city. And out of nowhere my thought travel instead to the sheer beauty of the day, the pleasantness of the breeze, the feel of the sun as it burned me today, the beauty of our yard as we are landscaping and planting, the magnitude of my love for God and my family, the greatfulness I have of my callouses, knowing I can work hard for my family and for God. And I feel so very rich. I do not feel alone as I am in this big room. I feel rich and free and alive. God has freed me from my many sins- they are gone. My mind is clear and clean and at peace. I am joyful again. I am grateful and not selfish anymore. I am blessed to have my kids work alongside us now. ❤

Far from the Mind, Close to Perfection

The closer I can put my mind to Godly thoughts, purity, courage, love, peace, high lofty spiritual truths from God, the closer I get to being who I was perfectly designed to be and the closer I get to our amazing Creator. The more my mind dwells on this flawed world and the lies that seem epidemic around us, the closer I get to sin and ugliness and imperfection galore. It is the adage that “those who dwell with trash and the sewer stinketh”. Our mind and thoughts are the same. We must read the Bible and pray continuously to raise our thinking to the truth we so desperately need to free us from this dark world and life us to God. And the really cool thing about God is that Jesus has paved a way already to be saved from the mire around us and even that we may find ourselves in. And God thus lifts us right out of it as soon as we humbly ask. He starts cleaning us up. It is beautiful. Try it.❤

Constant Recurring Thoughts

When a thought recurs incessantly in your mind, you are being prompted to do something. Here is where discernment comes in and you have to pray. If that thought is evil/contrary to the Bible, it is a test or temptation from the evil one. Those you pray about diligently, rebuke and resist as consistently as they recur, and they will leave. They have to. Now if the recurring thought is good/complying with the Bible, like doing something, creating something, working, serving, teaching, whatever it may be, it is what you are supposed to be doing. And you need to obey and do it. It may be God has that purpose for you in the kingdom. God gives us direction that way sometimes. So the key is to pray. For example, I was playing piano at church for years and was feeling blah about it, had trouble getting motivated all of a sudden and really wanted to work with the kids and just really wanted to start a kids choir. All of a sudden. But I kept thinking about it. So someone out of nowhere asked I’d they could play piano. That was confirmation and I let her and started helping with the kids and we have started a choir that is going very well and I can minister to kids. So that was God moving me to what He needed done. That is sometimes how He works. Don’t be afraid of it, just obey, and God provides the resources and help at the right time and it is beautiful and fulfilling. ❤