Watered Down Weather

It has rained foe several days now. In Florida, that really doesn’t happen tons. We get rain often, almost daily, but it is only for a brief time and we see sun and blue skies again. We are spoiled by this. Several days of rain and gray clouds in miserable to us because of the contrast to what we are used to and a turn from our steady source of vitamin D from the sun. But such is life. I whine to not see the sun. However, we needed this rain, being behind for thr month. The plants and trees and crops need this quencher. It will be gone soon, but it was just what they needed, and we people are not God’s only creation and reaponsibility.

When we get to a season of steady problems, regular issues one after another, it is easy to get myopic and think poor me or get angry or just depressed, but we are not the only one God looks after. He works on our weeknesses in our temperaments and molds us into greater faith and reliance on Him and answers all humble prayers, true. But there are others around us being worked on and loved on in different phases as well. And maybe they need you to go through some stuff so you can empathize and help them later. Our struggles are part of a bigger story and we are, through them, working on having a much better forever in eternity in just a little while. Heaven is next after this world and all its troubles are over. So I’ll take the rain and troubles and learn what I can. No worries. I have heaven to prepare for.❤

Focusing on the Life Giver

Even if everything is wrong with your life right now (which is always a negatively – skewed exaggeration), love the Life Giver and focus on Him. There is always something beautiful from Him in your life if you are focused on Him. For instance, my husband and teenage son are at odds a lot and angry a lot, my daughter is having trouble with obedience and honesty and a tad of laziness, I have to do a lot for my mom because of her poor choices, I now have added regular responsibility, my weight loss has stalled at only 2 pounds to go, I have a lot of responsibility on me as per usual, I am feeling a heavy weight from so many burdens around me, I am often neglected despite all this, I have no money to do things or get shopping for Christmas, I am missing my loved ones no longer here, so much weighing me down right now. I could focus on these things and get seriously depressed. That would be easy to fall into. I don’t though. I refuse. Instead, I do something else.

I focus on God, the Life Giver. I focus on my residence in heaven. I focus on the great goodness of God. Then, it becomes much easier to see how many blessings I have. Yes, the negative things are all still here, but I now get to play piano at a new church my friends attend and lead worship for. I get to teach my children school. I am healthy enough to work hard and keep up with everything without pain or exhaustion. I have a mom still alive close by. I have a husband and home and children and fish. We have air conditioning and a minivan that is lasting a long time. These are all blessings.

The thing is… sometimes you can only see the good stuff after you put your remaining energy on God. He gives life and is the light source. Focus on Him is the decision. It is always my best decision.❤❤❤

Plodding Along the Journey

I was placed here to prepare for eternity with God in heaven. So were you. And we are plodding along on our journeys to forever, where our souls and spirits will not be burdened by sin which crept in or was chosen or evil or temporary things or aging bodies or fleshly needs. We plod along. But we must not simply plod, for we are all feeling a lot of treading through mud lately. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t feel it. It is harder to plod along. Sometimes each step is mired down by distractions and wastes of time and difficulties and sadness and so many other options. It is easy, so easy to succumb to its weight. It is easy, so easy to give up and go with that tempting wide road leading to hell. But we must continue on our journey to heaven. We must be diligent and persistent and intentional and aggressive in our steps. Our Heavenly Father waits for us to make it to Him. He longs for a relationship with us He lovingly made. We must stay focused on Him. We must cast off distractions and pray more, fast more, focus more, read our Bible more. These are necessities to keep plodding along, keep going on the journey to eternity with God in heaven. It won’t be terribly long. Please keep going. We are in it together.❤

Year Long Struggle with Depression

I did not have time to mention this yesterday. I have struggled this past year with depression. My daddy died of dementia, a good friend died in a car accident and a very good friend married a monster and abandoned us all. And I took these things to heart, three different kind of losses at once- two deaths (my loved daddy and my friend) and a betrayal of a loved friend/band brother. Before all this happened at once, I thought myself pretty strong, an independent woman who can do anything. And wham! I was instantly transformed into this little wimpy girl. I never had struggled with depression, being more inclined to laugh everything off than cry. In fact, I rarely ever have cried in my life until this three banger event happened. And let me tell you a secret. I am very thankful for having gone through this humbling. How can I say this? Can anyone enjoy going through the greatest pain imaginable? I am honored that God chose to humble me and save me and draw me close instead of give up on me and abandon me like so many had. It was a process of a year of torture, sadness, crying, mourning, loneliness, deprivation, withdrawal from everyone, trouble concentrating, lethargy, inability to laugh like I used to. I kept up a good front often but was dying inside. And it took that to wake my stubborn prideful butt up to be humble and prayerful and teachable and realize God not only did not throw me away but He was nurturing me back to health the whole while, never giving up on me. A special thank you to whoever was praying for me. And thanks to God for holding me when noone else would. And I would have pushed anyone else away then anyway but God is so tender and loving and faithful to hold me when I cry. And Sunday, the year of depression lifted from my shoulders and I felt a release. And tears poured again but these were not tears of sadness but of joy. And today, I laughed with my daughter as I have not done for too long. And I realize my greatest strength is that in my great weakness, Jesus is greatly more powerful than I am capable of. And that is true strength. I heard a quote that “you will meet your greatest ally and greatest enemy and in the end you will thank them both” or something like that. I am so incredibly thankful!!!! God is definitely my hero and loves me and I love Him with my little self. ❤❤❤

The Power of Struggle

Without struggles in our lives, we can not know ourselves and what we are really like, how we handle pressure, what we need to work on, how we learn, our pride level, so many things. If we only possess a perfect life in which no conflict was present, for one it would be dreadfully boring and two, we would never have the opportunity to know or improve ourselves beyond the extent of the mirror looking at the outer shell of ourselves. To truly know ourselves and what we are capable of and what we need work on, how can we grow wiser, learn, challenge ourselves, learn to lead, etc.? And without knowing ourselves deeper, how do we know God deeper, whose fingerprint is below the seen, in the soul and not on the seen shell? Not that we are God but that He reveals Himself in us in our inner soul when we worship and follow Him. Every great novel has an antagonist and a crisis. Some have several. Would it be worth the read without it? 

The Happy Things

Sure it easy to see the bad things, downright evil things, ugliness around us. That is easy. What is a challenge is finding the little happy moments inside those and focusing on them. For every situation that hurts, there is a chance to grow and heal. For every tear there is a laugh. For every heartache there is a breath of grace. For every heart wrenching cry there is a comfort. God never allows one without providing the other, because He is a loving Father. Our challenge and tool for hope and survival is the finding of that. God promises also we will never have to endure more than we can. Sometimes it feels a lot like it, hopes shattered, sadness presses, loneliness attacks, and you wonder. Then as you are thinking that, you hear out of the corner of your ear your kid’s laughter or find your favorite chocolate bar on sale or get an encouraging note from your best friend that says you are not a loser or you trip on air and fall crazy onto the couch and just laugh at the block was of that. There is always a smile to be had, a laugh to find. Do not give up searching for it. It will get you through the dark by means of its light.                                      

Truffle Curiosity

I have never tasted or smelled or looked at a truffle. Great chefs seek them out, pay a fortune for them and wow their patrons. My mind cannot comprehend a mushroom worth $250 an ounce or whatever ridiculous amount it is. I thought $4 for a package of portabellas is a lot. But I got to thinking that maybe the worth of the truffle comes from how hard it is to obtain it. Its rarity and struggle to find and dig them up, the research and investigation and pain and agony and most of all time it takes to get these shrooms tells a great story. Maybe the priceless value of health lies in the cost of the prior accumulation of sicknesses, building up your immune system one antibody at a time. Maybe the value of extreme happiness of a loving relationship comes at the cost of many failed attemps and struggles. Maybe the good can only be valued and esteemed highly after the struggle through the bad. The good news is the good news. The struggle is worth it later. At the time will frustrate the heck out of you and cost a lot up front but in the end you get the best or your perception of the best. Good things really do come to those who wait and are consistent a d work through challenges. It is worth it. Do not under any circumstance give up.