This morning, my son started walking with me. At 7am. For 1.4 miles minimum. Awake. And this is a huge deal because he, like me, is a night owl and not a morning person. It took having children to change me and here he is changing now. I attribute a lot to the Naval Sea Cadets he is a part of and most of it to God’s answer to my prayers to help him grow into a godly man. I believe this is a strong step toward responsibility and health and being ready to serve and I am very proud of him. And he kept up with me, who has been walking all this time! And he is bigger than me now, so I want him to be humble in spirit and teachable. Praise God for providing the overcoming of this milestone into manhood, even a tad bit early. I am so thankful!! ❤
So, my pre-teen son has been struggling lately with normal hormone issues plus his dad’s drama with his psychotic wife and two of her three boys’ meanness and his stepdad’s often acute critical attacks on him. So we thought it best to enroll him in the US Naval Sea Cadets (a Sea Bee battalion for his age group). This allows him to develop leadership skills and train him for many various skills and leadership and service rolls, as well as foster his growth and development in allows positive way. So today, I dropped him off for his first mini boot camp. Not only did I not have to wake him at 6am, but he was ready to go at 6am, having gotten himself up at 5:30am. We left early and were the first ones there. And the sunrise in was spectacular and affirming, with sunset pink colors and a heavy mist on the grassy fields we passed. I am excited for this new phase of his journey toward manhood. I am so proud of him. And the I got back and walked my mile and a half, talking to God the whole way, and am now sitting contentedly on the porch swing looking at this:
We knew it was there, I knew it had not taken a vacation to other regions of the galaxy, I knre it was still there working, but it is sure good to see the sun again! Something about the perceived tangibility of sight, something renewing and reassuring about that. The sun! I think it will be even better to see Jesus. I know He is there and working and loves me but something about seeing Him will be so exciting!
So, my son decides yesterday to get up really early in the morning with me and walk with me to start the day. He is normally a night person like me and hard to get out of bed, so I was expecting the worst. Instead, he pops right up and is eager to go. Oy. So off we go and I am pleasantly surprised because I generally love walking time to enjoy God’s creation and talk to Him and just be quiet. I thought my chatty son would be a peace deterrent but instead he was pleasingly quiet with the sparce comment here or there. Lovely. So he will be joining me and we have more time together, and I thank God for that. Another happy place. Wonderful. 🙂
A lot has happened in my mind since Daddy moved to Heaven. My ex refused to bring back my son so I had to rescue him tonight. I spent time talking to mom about dad and plans and arrangements. My husband had a birthday today. I played piano for worship at church this morning and God provided strength through tears. I am preparing for my daughter’s sixth birthday party tomorrow. And I took my Facebook and Twitter links off my phone. I am feeling regret at being an extrovert because everything is sorted out in my mind out loud and I am not thinking clearly so have alienated some people and I am so sorry about that. I have lost three loved people recently, and with ex’s drama, I am quite certain there is not much more I want to handle. I want to become an introvert but too much time alone make me crazy, though some recharges me. So I am talking to Zach (nearly 11 now) and he gives me profound insight and wisdom. I asked where he got it and he said from me and God. Amazed, let me share his thoughts. He said that we all have a little door on our hearts and we decide how thick the door is and how big the lock is. You open up your lock and door to few people but those people left so now you want to change the door into a wall to protect yourself from more pain. He said I would not be happy if I did make walls because God made me love people. He said to pick one or two close trusted friends and open the door a little and then close it. I do not know what I did right with this boy, but I am so grateful to God for him. And I will be gradually taking his advice because he is right. There is much wisdom and depth there. So please be understanding and gentle with me. I am in harm’s way and must retract a bit to survive and will be back soon. Love you.