Single Discouragement/Spouse Desperation and Jesus

I have friends who are single with God. Either this is on purpose, as is the case with our nephew who became a Jesuit priest, or unwillingly because they have never been asked to marry, never met the right person. And this latter group is who I am addressing. When you have the Lord and stay close to Him, God is RI her in comfort and understanding and much more unconditional in love than any man or woman and you are really blessed. It is easy to see what you think other people have b in a spouse, but in my experience, living with a spouse is very lonely. They want you to be what they want, take care of them, do everything their way, disregard your own needs in strong favor of theirs. And my husband has never slept in our bedroom, preferring n the couch. I used to cry a lot. He preferred gawking at prostitutes online to looking lovingly at me and that also made me cry and discouraged me. And guys are never the gentlemen they appear to be when they are dating you and trying to win your hand. It is a deception, in my experience. There is good too, a lot of it, like him paying the bills and taking us to dinner and allowing me to homeschool the kids at home. But I am making a real point here. You can not only be lonely in marriage but you can be lonelier. Sure you have a companion, but it is on their terms. So the key to joy in life is not a spouse, it is closeness to God. A relationship with Jesus trumps everything and makes married life worthwhile and peaceful as well as makes singleness worthwhile and peaceful. Thr closeness to Jesus is most definitely our only hope and what makes all of life beautiful and prepares us for eternal life with Him. So stop searching for another person to make you successful and happy and trust in Jesus and draw close to Him for joy and success and the highest worth.❤

Single on Valentine’s Day

I have a few friends who are single today. They look longingly at the idea of the day, being swept off their feet and whisked off to Paris on a private jet to dine under candlelight in view of the Eiffel Tower and tasting chocolates while walking hand in hand into the sunset on the bridge. Hmm? Well, those of us long married have (with very few exceptions) never experienced this. Truth be told, men are only interested in romancing you until you are married to them and then only do so when pressed. Heavily. Even the romantic ones (of which I have met one who was not heavily pressed), a card, candy, flowers and dinner is the absolute most. So I say all this because it is beautiful to be married and/or engaged or dating steadily but it is beautiful to enjoy your singleness also. Enjoy wherever you are, despite what day it is because God knows you better than anyone and loves you and finds you truly precious. You are valuable, no matter if you have found someone who recognizes and appreciates that yet or not. It will happen if it is supposed to and take your time, enjoying the ride meanwhile because rushing to it may risk you right into a narcissist. God knows what you need. Let go and trust Him and enjoy the journey. You got this! Love you. 🙂

Single Seeking Someone, Anyone

Ours is a flawed social culture. It appears outwardly bankrupt and operates upside down from ways of old. We push sex down everyone’s throat, starting from children’s ages on up. Scantilly dressed, porn pushed, easily accessible, virtual girls, airbrushed barely legal girls flaunting everything for whoever wants to look or pay, live chat girls with no decency or modesty, plastic starving Hollywood actresses, and barely dressed models acting all sexy for everything from deodorant and perfume to insurance and candy bars and depends. No imagination at all in marketing, just use the easy go-to that sex sells. And then common girls, we gorgeous but not airbrushed with curves and cellulite (gasp) and who actually eat may happen to be single. I am married, but ma y of my friends are not and I write this for them. And these amazing women, who inadvertantly have watched Hollywood’s version of what romance and relationships ships are “supposed to” look like a little too much, wonder why they can’t meet Mr. Right and why when she does meet him he isn’t so romantic or isn’t for long because he splits as soon as another higher hemmed and more willing skirt walks by. It is because our society, including their views on other people, have a disposable and next best thing mentality that really really sucks. Really sucks. They want everything now and fast and free and new and exciting and better and porn, I’m exists fixes. As soon as something more enticing comes along, drop Mrs. Nice girl and go for the momentary thrill. Girls do it too, I am afraid. It all sucks. Wanting to be with someone, anyone has become vital to some kind of twisted self esteem or feeling accepted like a high school popularity contest. People compromise their morals just to not be alone. And here is the answer. Ready? You are never alone. God walks with you, loves you, longs to be closer to you. And you are His beautiful child, His love. The One who made you knows how incredible you are and He is never wrong. When you walk with Him, you are so much better off than with some stupid thrill seeker entitled narcissistic waste of time who won’t even stick around long enough for the flowers to fade. And when you walk with God, He provides what you need. And if your heart’s desire is to be married, He will send someone great and real to you that is worth waiting for. It will be the right timing for the right reasons. My thoughts…

Romancing the Valentine

My husband and I are mildly romantic with each other all year long. We don’t depend on a designated day derived to sell overpriced dying flowers and fantastic chocolates or horribly unnatural and contrived romance movies or being shot in the butt with arrows. This being said, I am rocking my love to my husband with the romance of helping him with whatever he needs as a post operative knee patient. To my husband, the best and most romantic thing I can do for him is bring him meals in bed and fresh water with a straw because he can not move without pain right now. I am a sexy servant by choice because he needs me and I love him and am here for him. Do I have disappointment by not being taken out for “Valentine’s Day”? Nope. I think that would be silly and stupid and selfish. Romance is not all that unnatural emotional garbage Hollywood pumps out and hurls in our faces and especially not the demeaning and demoralizing porn they serve everywhere (even if it is popular and highly promoted and encourages manipulated sex bondage slaves in the guise of “romance”- I really can’t believe people are actually going to pay to see women so abused). True romance is loving your spouse how they feel the most loved when they don’t expect it but often enough that they always feel loved. And true romance and love is faithful and purposeful and gets better all the time. And for those who are single and might feel sorry about being g single on this one particular made up day, it is much better to holdout for something true and God-sent rather than have an emotional day experience followed by a cheating failure. You and God are worth more than that. We spouses (and one day probably you will be in that category with someone God sends you) can love on each other any day we want to. You are not less for avoiding a disaster and you are so much more and wiser for holding out for the true romance that lasts a lifetime. 🙂

Stay to Dance

“Sometimes you have to leave to remain”. I wrote that shortly after my divorce in a song. It makes sense. But it took me a long time of drawing close to the Lord again to fully realize my vast failure in not completing the truth of that. This is long past and all is forgiven (by God and myself) and I am happily remarried to a wonderful man. But at the time long ago, I didn’t understand that leaving doesn’t always have to be forever. We can leave and get right with the Lord and complete that journey of restoration and regrouping and repurposing and get back together. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t because we never dance alone. However, if you want to work on it, it may be a good technique. Sometimes it isn’t all or nothing, like we all seem to think. Sometimes it is messy with spiritual discipleship because sometimes both dancers or just one chooses a different dance at the moment. Sometimes messy is temporary. When years go by, decisions like mine have to be made. We cannot dance alone. But my heart is for the single and struggling right now, and I want to meaningfully impress upon you that you are tenderly and dearly loved on a massive scale and you are never ever alone. If you feel alone it is a choice to believe the enemy’s lie because the truth is that the second you cry and call to Jesus to be there with you, He shows up. Sometimes it is in the form of a friend or family member or a movie or a warm peaceful feeling or holding your heart while you cry. You see, you cannot dance alone, but you can always under any circumstance dance with your Creator, which makes you princess of the universe. Pretty awesome, that. Keep dancing, beautiful princess! 🙂