My life appears on the surface as a normal, almost mundane life. And it is on the surface. I am just anotger housewife who homeschools our kids. I cook and clean (loosely), I do yard work, I work at home and love taking care of my family. So all that looks like I am a rather old fashioned woman who loves God and her family. However, what is busting out of me and secretly ambitious in me is an artist, singer/songwriter (have written many songs and published some), pianist, writer (have written and published 4 books- available on Amazon), am strong as an ox and love hard work, do public speaking, am an experienced doctor (who had my own practice for four years started from scratch), am intelligent, am more comfortable on stage than off, love skydiving, and can take care of myself and my family. There is tons of ambition in me awaiting opportunities to be used. I literally van do anything I put my mind to because I am atrong in faith and God told me I could in Philippians 4:13. I believe that. Firmly. Hands down. So don’t underestimate anyone ever. You do not know who they are by looking on the surface and people are rarely what they seem. God uses everyone and we who love God should help people fit their giftedness into the community for God. We are made to serve and worship with obedience. Don’t discount anyone. A beautiful old lady I was helping watch for a few weeks after her stroke from church taught me to draw, she had been a professional artist who had been widowed early in life and supported herself and her son by her art. No one, even me, expected this frail woman to teach me art skills artist nd on spire me to pursue my artistic gift. From that day on, every person had incredibly more value to me. You can learn something from anyone. Everyone has a gift. Everyone should use their gift for God and appreciate the diversity of other peoples’ gifts. We all have a role to play in God’s kingdom and in our communities and lives. We all have secret abilities. Search it out and you will be blessed.
“The Lord tells his secrets to those who respect him; he tells them about his agreement. My eyes are always looking to the Lord for help. He will keep me from any traps.” – Psalm 25:14 – 15
What has worked for me to make my marriage successful and happy is the following list. You may have your own, but this is mine, and I assure you it has been hard earned but tremendously enjoyed once fiduredout and implemented. Here is the list:
1. Choose to become in the closest relationship possible with God. Read the Bible, pray, listen to and watch good teachers, make close friendships with Godly women you respect etc. This is the most important thing ever and works for success in life even if unmarried.
2. Choose to allow your spouse to be imperfect. If they are in sin, point out the sin by explaining its effects on you and the relationship and then let it go. This is enormous. Realize you are not perfect either and so choose to be imperfect together. Work on yourself but realize you are the only one you can ever change.
3. Pray for you and your spouse and your marriage. God can change hearts where we can not but only if the other person allows Him to. You can not push a rope so put the rope down. Pray and then let it go.
4. Forgive every time even if unasked. You are forgiven by God as you humbly ask Him to forgive you every time. You forgive because as we forgive is how we will be forgiven and we want to be forgiven. It is a gift that gives back. Just do it.
5. Remember that you love, honor and cherish your spouse. God gave this person to you. Treasure that. Times will be hard but there are soft times too. Value those moments and really appreciate the curious wonder that is your spouse. Appreciate their Creator through them. Choose to love.
6. Repeat one through five.
You are welcome. It works. Praise God it works!
Being in a relationship is difficult and time consuming. It is rewarding and lovely to be connected to someone, especially when God joins two together in marriage and kids come. However, there are some key features to success in a relationship that I wish I had been able to understand and enforce at a younger age, but alas, ignorance is still wasted on the young (no offense know-it-all youngin’s, lol). Now that I am old enough to get some of it now, I will share it with those who may not yet have a grasp on it. 1. One very important thing that takes precedence over everything else is that God is in charge of the universe and your marriage and not you. In fact, we need to work to do the right things I will mention in a minute and do every one right but God controls everything. You cannot push a rope. You can improve yourself and hope your spouse wants to do so as well but it is their choice and not yours to make. I repeat, you can not push a rope. You can want your spouse to put your needs above their wants but it is up to them what level of selfishness they will operate at, as it is up to you what level of selfishness you will operate at. Which brings me to my second point. 2. Working improving yourself. By this I do not simply mean health and beauty this world emphasizes so much. I mean that internally, drawing near to God in prayer and Bible reading improves your understanding of our Creator and His creation, including you and your spouse. When you work on being a better person, loving and kind and humble, your relationship cannot help but improve. What spouse on the planet would object to a quarrel free home and a loving spouse who treats them with honor and respect and appreciation because they see glimpses of the Creator’s greatness in them? Wow. Take that in for a minute. 3. Kids are very important but not as important as the spousal relationship. This is a tough one for moms. Kids demand everything and will take as much of you as you give them and still want more. Yes, they are valuable and worthy of time and care. However, remind yourself you are teaching a person to be a godly loving spouse one day, and these kids will hopefully spend most of their lives as adults without you nursing them along, and model this great relationship between you and your spouse. Yes they need you but you will spend the rest of your life in the same house as your spouse and not your kids. Do not neglect your spouse for your kid(s). 4. Have friends you trust who pray with you and who you can bounce things off of. We do not live in a vacuum for obvious reasons. Friends are important too, and often much more willing to speak at length with. Lol. 5. Have hobbies. If you can have at least one you do together with your spouse, that is ideal. Too much time alone allows too much introspective thought on the spouses shortcoming and tends to not focus you on improving your own. Hobbies are a great outlet and distraction that usually fall in line with using the gifts God gave you. It is a win win. It also helps your kids to see gift development in action and see that they are not the only thing the sun revolves around. Hobbies also make you much more interesting. 6. Focus on helping your spouse more. We all need help. Bethe one meeting the needs of your spouse and hopefully they will not look to others to meet those needs. But again, you can not push a rope. However, chances improve upon these attempts. 7. Be faithful with your heart, mind, eyes, ears, soul, spirit and body to your spouse and ultimately to God. The grass is greener on the side of the fence that is nurtured. And you are the gardener.
People always want to know a secret. Me too. You delve into new information head on and hope for some new revelation or new way of looking at things that hasn’t happened before. Well, I do anyway. After a bit of searching and then a bit more and more, it appears that the great truths have been taught. There is nothing new under the sun. Except you. You (unless you believe in reincarnation AND it actually does happen) have never been here before. You have never thought of those things before. I think that is why every person God creates is so special to Him and loved. Because when I watch my kids learn new concepts and think of things themselves, I don’t think “Oh goody, just another person finding out the obvious”. Oh no, I think look at their viewpoint and the fantastic way they arrived at that conclusion. I love how he/she thinks! It is wholesome and exciting to see life through new and unique eyes. We are that new unique person in the world. There may be people who have looked similar to you or even did a lot alike but there has never been someone just like you. You are unique and special. That is reason to praise the Creator, not just appreciate the creation. We thrive on newness and I think we come by that honestly. Some truths are constant but some reasoning to conclude with those truths is simply stunning and beautiful. So you are the secret new truth. Embrace your calling and so bless the Creator with your secret of life.