Take Me Back

“There was once in our lifetime,

A time of joy, a precious dance sublime.

Now that time is in our past

And I long for precious memories of that.

Take me there to that time

When I was yours, your heart was mine.

Take me back to that day when I was yours that way.

See if we can bring back moments of splendor.

See if we can bring back hearts full beyond measure.

There was once a holiday

Where the best thing we could do was meet our gaze.

Now that time is in the past.

And I long for sweetest memories of that.

See if we can bring back moments of pleasure

See if we can bring back hearts full beyond measure.

Take me there to that time

When I was yours, your heart was mine

Take me back to that day when I was yours that way.

I was yours that way.”❤

I am singing this song tomorrow in church. I wrote it pining a lost love and revisited it after reading Revelation 2 (Rev. 2:1. “To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands. 2. I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. 3. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. 4. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. 5. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.”) where Jesus tells us He longs to be our (the church’s/saved ones) first love again. And this song gained immense power to me for it is the song of Jesus’ heart toward we whom He loves so very much and longs to draw us back to Himself. That relationship is far deeper, more meaningful and eternal. It is always our choice. He is always willing and eager to love us. His arms are open, come on in.❤

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Spirit Renewed by Gatlinburg, Tennessee

We just returned from a week in God’s masterpiece, Gatlinburg. We found hiking trails in mountains by beautiful waters and wild turkeys and quiet time with God. There is no doubt that He keeps His eye there to just enjoy what He made without argument. It is beautiful and peaceful and full of His glory. You cannot be there an deny Him. You cannot help but be regenerated and invigerated. He is everywhere and more obviously there. Gorgeous!! And our whole family feels more relaxed and alive and ready for the rest of the school and gig year.😄❤

CEU Days

So, I am up for renewal of my Audiology license and every other year am forced with a smile to do 30 CEUs  (continuing education units).  I can only do 10 hours as day, so am forced to do them as such over a 3 day span to knock them out. It costs a heap of money and is intrusive but I understand why they exist… to make someone money and be a pain in the neck. But I also learn a tad bit. Being a doctor for 15 years, I know a little bit about my profession. I don’t know everything so it is a wee good in a skantish way. But anyway, I am plugging along, getting my first 10 finished and reported today. Two more days of this nonsense to go. Yippee. But as a bonus break because God loves me, we had an extra band practice tonight! Highlight of my study day for sure. We have the best band we have ever had and we are a great, positive family having a whole heap of fun and making the most amazing music together! It is a blessing and and half and I believe God put us together. No doubt in my mind. Thank you, God!❤ 

New Year Resolutions

So perhaps I am a little old, but I realize each year that there is nothing significant in a day unless you believe it is so and make it significant. Nothing happens unless you make it happen… one of Newton’s Laws. New Year’s day is just another day unless you want a change to happen in some way and need some excuse for that to happen. That is why resolutions generally don’t work for longer than your attention span. I believe that is not cynical so much as realistic. I believe you can’t make a wish things will change but refuse to commit to backing it up. I need to lose a few pounds, but vowing to stop eating or worse, taking a pill to make it magically evaporate, is pathetic and ineffective if in place of committing myself to improved health because I want to be a better, healthier, more energetic child of God. So, the resolution should be a deeper change, something which promotes lasting change and betterment. Something like praying every day, reading one chapter of the Bible every day, forgiving someone, wanting to please God, helping people every day, using gifts or talents to do good, etc. And we can make that change any single day of our lives and we must every day of our lives. I like how the singer Carolyn Arends sang it, “This will be my resolution, every day is New Year’s Day”. Every day, every hour, every minute is an opportunity to start again and be intentional. In fact, to be effective, it must be so.❤

When I Walk the Country Road

I am unapologetically a nature girl. I am most alive outside, most happy dirty, most energetic working outside and most artistically worshipful surrounded by God’s designs and colors, touching His textures. I could live outdoors, rustic (no tech or electricity) camping is my favorite vacation. So when I walk down a country road, I am immediately the energetic, confident, loving, worshipful, poetic, artistic, powerful, fun girl again absolutely full of life and love and harmony with nature. It takes me back there, to before evil spots, dark places, bad experiences, grief, loss, etc. Walking down a country road for me is purifying to my soul and restorative to my essence. I am me again in the presence of God, purified and focused again, belting out new praise songs that pop into my head, dancing with the movement of the wind. I am that little girl who spent time alone with God again and His world. I am immediately reminded what is important and benidicial and what has to go, like doubt or worry or sorrow or anger. These melt away. The joy and peace and love and hope is left, faith and trust in God. And everyone has their walk down a country road. Some people’s is revisiting a familiar place from the past or going fishing or hitting a baseball straight down center or sitting quietly alone in prayer. Whatever you need to do to remember, do it because sometimes we need to go back and be reminded who we were originally made to be and the incredible Who who made us. ❤❤

The Gift of Love Reborn

When you lose someone who loved you dearly and took care of you quite a while, you, or at least I did, tend to think you will never have someone love you like that. When someone you loved and who loved and took care of you is suddenly my gone from your life, you think no one will ever love you and take care of you again. At least that is what I thought. And with a lot of prayer and Bible reading and serving in worship and using the gifts God gave me, I began to feel what I thought was not possible, a deep love from God that filled every hole over time until I feel secure again in Him. I am God’s daughter, now that my Daddy is with Him in heaven. I am dearly loved and cared for by someone who knows me better than anyone else ever has or could. It is possible to feel loved unconditionally and I am and feel and appreciate every inch of it. And something beautiful is happening. My husband and I are growing deeper in love with each other and I am so very blessed by it. Every marriage has struggles and I spent so much time caretaking my Daddy and Mom for a while too that we had lost our spark. We both loved and appreciated each other but love had settled at a level workable but not magical. And the magic spark has returned now and I am in love with my husband and he is loving me and what a beautiful gift that is!! Mundane previously is exciting again, goals are being accomplished together, teamwork, mutual support and respect, trust, fulfillment, all flowing freely from a God ordained bond of love and music. We make beautiful music together. And this magnificent gift is completely and entirely a gift from God and result of Him restoring my soul with deep love and healing and peace and comfort. Nothing half as good could happen without God’s direct involvement and blessing when a broken heart is mournfully and humbly placed in His hands. God blesses and never ceases to amaze. Oh how I love Him!! Thank you, God! 

Back to Life After Death

I could have said “resurrected” but that is much too important a word spiritually, but it is sort of. Let me explain. I was dead for a while, having undergone vital losses at once, of course the most valuable being my daddy, and I was in a bit of a spiritual slump as well. Caretaking and watching the decline of the most important person throughout my whole life plus the whole rest of life is a challenge for even the most energetic and driven of us. There are human limitations on this superwoman after all. Lol And I withdrew from society after the Memorial services were over and I don’t remember most of it all. I left Facebook, Instagram, contacted as few people as possible, left a text me if you need me sign and hunkered down at home with my little family, going out when needed or when the kids needed and living quietly and cried a whole heck of a lot more than during my entire life before that. And meanwhile, God was drawing me to Himself and to my family and especially to my good husband who I had neglected during it all, poor love. And I can say that I am emerging from my cacoon a different but still recognizable person and in a few healthy months my superwoman cape should fit again and I will obey God with all my heart and take amazing care of my husband and family, practice more, write another book, record more original songs (my hubby bought me a new keyboard for such a thing), paint more, gig well and more and have fun in life. And most importantly, God is my number one priority as He is of far greater importance in life than anything else. He revived me and I give credit solely to Him in healing me and reviving me to life again. I had nothing left and He never left me alone and loved me back to life. What a mighty God we serve!!!