I Cut My Hair

Those who know me understand that I mark significant, meaningful events with a haircut. And I took about 4 inches off this time. It commemorates that which I need to remember and I write this blog to remember that. I and my Lord know what that event is and we will keep it to ourselves but it needed documentation. May God be praised in all the earth!❤❤❤

Advertisements

Remembering a Dream

I used to love the idea of a cabin in the woods close to the farm. It is still a beautiful thought. I saw one today being built step by step in the woods in Canada. It was sweet.

No matter what little dream you have, it is never too late to realize it. I may have to wait for heaven, but I am quite sure God has built what we have been passionate about for us, or something even better with that flavor. But dreaming is never bad. It gives hope, lightens thoughts, brings happiness.

The dream of helping troubled youth is still there also. And someday I may realize that dream as well. In the meanwhile, I play piano at church, teach Sunday school for women, homeschool my kids, be the best wife I can be for my husband and the Lord, and help wherever I can.

This is the deal. We work faithfully for the Lord with the bigger lingering dream in our minds and hearts and who knows. Keeping your ear to the ground and a bit of well timed blessings and sweat equity may find your hopes someday becoming a reality. Keep your dream. In doing so, you keep your passion. And in being faithful to God n in obedience, you prove you are worthy of that dream.❤

Leave the Past in the Pasture or You’ll Step in it Again

Even if the past was fantastic beyond measure and the best time of your life and more meaningful than anything else ever, still, even then, leave the past in the pasture behind you or you’ll step in something unpleasant. You went through that time, for better or worse and it meant something significant for better or worse but it was foe a season. How do you know? You would still be there if it was meant for now. Simple. Oh, one thing I wish I could scream to the world is that life is really very simple and meant to be so. The simple things matter, what remains matters, the present matters. It is simple. If you left someone awful or magnificent in the past for any reason or if they left you, that was the answer. People never throw away or leave that which they truly love. There is your answer. Accept and embrace the pain of it and leave it there and walk on. There is more to life than memories and histories. That is part of us but we need to focus on the now. God has us where we are for a reason. It is beautiful and meaningful now. The past may have held more meaning or more happiness but just because that of now is different makes it no less important and meaningful, just different. Stay here. Own it. Be present fully. If every day were a party, there would be no party.❤

Rebuilding Contemplations 2 Years Ago

2 Years ago, I lost my daddy. I lost the man that loved me most in the world and who was always there for me. I also lost a liar friend that swore love to me and my family and just rejected us and split. (All is forgiven and we still love you, just recapping my pain of 2 years ago.) I also lost a friend my age in a car accident suddenly at the same time. Two years ago, I was a mess, a pitiable disaster shell of a girl… broken to understate it. The strongest crumble hardest when broken.

Absolutely, that was a defining moment of my life. Absolutely, that completely impoverished soul of mine was the means of God finally breaking this pride in me down to ashes and rebuilding a humble me. It was the best thing that ever happened to me spiritually, in light of eternity. Because now, as I keep choosing God to be my strength and keep humbly close to Him, even living with frequent opposition and injustice, everything keeps me humble and closer to God.

And now I am strongest of my life because I am weakest and God is able to work through me. This, my friend, is beautiful. I am thankful for two years ago and reflect upon it thoughtfully and often. I still get emotional but it is always tempered with joy and peace now. If you are going through a lot now, take heart. Hope is in Jesus always and with love. Don’t be afraid to break for Him and He will rebuild you way better. God is so very good!!❤❤❤

Rehashing Days Passed

Thinking about my life’s journey has been a repetitive occurrence of late. I have wanted to leave no stone unturned in confessing forgotten sins I have gotten away with or just have forgotten and maybe didn’t even realize at the time. And overall I believe my life has been like everyone else’s in that I have done really great things and have amazing memories and I have been pretty much scummy also at times. I have said beautiful words that have inspired and I have said careless words that have cut people to the quick. I have told the truth and I have lied. I believe this is everyone’s story with just the details different.

For my part, I am ashamed of the sins in my life and am truly sorry for them. And I wish I could go door to door and confess but I don’t know where all over the world some moved to or last names now or whatever so have to rely on God to help them forgive me.

But I praise God where He has given me grace and mercy. There is no sin too little or too great that His grace cannot cover it with His forgiveness and purify us with His blood. He is perfectly capable of restoring our souls where we are at our level. And He can and will restore our souls in heaven someday soon. And all the regrets and sadness of people lost and loneliness and hurt and every ugly thing will instantly be forgotten and us restored to full life in our incredible Jesus Christ. And that day is soon and I long for it for my family.

At the same time, I have sadness for those left behind. It will get harder, much harder, when that happens. And I want everyone to be saved, as God also wants every precious soul saved. He loves us oh so much.

So, I guess my thoughts on my past are really a distraction. I am made right by God through the sacrifice of Jesus and I have a job to do now. So onward I go and keep moving forward and someday it will be moving up. Praise God, everyone. Praise Him, friend. I thank Him for you and remind you how greatly you are loved and considered precious!❤

Remembering Lessons from Daddy

Today was my Daddy’s birthday. I have been thinking of him a lot. I miss him. More than that, I wish my kids could have known him better. But I assembled a list of key facts and morality codes he lived by that will benefit them and anyone seeking wisdom.

1. Daddy always told the truth. He did not lie and detested lies. Yes, you have to face the consequences if you did something wrong but the consequences for lying are a slow death inside and misery along the way so far worse. Truth is always the right answer.

2. Daddy loved God, family and country in that order. No exceptions. Daddy would fight to the death for any of those and in that order. He was a junior high Sunday school teacher and church song leader, a faithful husband, great provider, loving father, and former Marine and lifelong farmer. This was proof, which you always provide when you believe in something.

4. Daddy was very generous and secretive about it. He loved anonymous gift giving and was quite sneaky about it. He saw more rewards for helping without notoriety or reward, knowing then that God gives greater eternal rewards in heaven. Pretty smart cookie.

5. Daddy saw black and white and had no time or patience for gray. It was right or wrong. Dismiss the wrong and live the right. No in betweens, no compromising the right ever.

6. Daddy loved nature. He tended his fields with a passion for their Maker and appreciated, knew and coaxed the soil and plants to perfection. He was an amazing farmer and loved nature.

7. Daddy sang like an angel. He was big and strong, had taught boxing in the service, ran and repaired heavy equipment, farmed, was tough as nails but always sang like an angel for Jesus. You use the gifts you were given. You just do.

8. Daddy put everyone first. God was first and foremost but everyone followed after. He never saw a stranger, picked up hitchhikers, helped countless people move, took great care of us and all our family members, helped out friends with car repairs, even after a double shift. If he could do it, he knew he should.

9. Daddy loved me unconditionally. He was the only one other than God. Yes, sometimes he disagreed with my choices, but he alway was there loving me, there for me, eager to provide for me, had my back. Always. My rock. My secure person.

10. Daddy was faithful to my mom. He is the only man I know of who has been. No porn, no cheating, turned off raunchy shows or even commercials, looked away at trashy dressed women, never even side glanced. He was faithful to her, even when she weighed over 300 pounds. Didn’t matter, that was his sweat heart and he loved her. Proved it.

So, I hope everyone sees the example of my daddy as one to follow as a human. Of course Jesus is a greater example, but daddy pretty good too. I am proud and honored to have been his daughter.

Happy birthday in heaven, daddy! I sure do love and miss you.❤❤

In a Homesick Funk Lately

Not sure why, but lately feeling homesick. I want to be around family and my aunts and cousins and home town and sister and nephews and neices. I miss everyone. I miss my good friends. I miss everyone. I was okay being far away for a while because I had a lot of healing and learning to do. Now, I miss them. I am healed and have learned and want to go home. There is the problem, this is my home now. My husband does not want to even visit my hometown and in fairness, I had never given an indication before of needing to. So, I know we will all be together in heaven and probably not before at the rate this world is moving towards Jesus’ return, but just know family and home church and friends that I love you and wish I could be with you! God bless you all! ❤