When All Else Fails, Talk About It

There is an unwritten stupidity in many of our heads that prefers to stew and mull things over and brood rather than having a potentially uncomfortable conversation. However, quite often the other party is not even bothered by the matter or at the least most often not to the same extent. Yet we brood and suffer and pity ourselves and fester in a darkness of our own making.

So, I have opted from now on to have those potentially difficult conversations here and now rather than decrease the years of my life over them when it may be avoided. Better a moment’s discomfort than a long drawn out death over it. Tired of that. Tired of keeping it in. I was not like that as a kid, and by golly I am tired of eggshells. I will walk rightly in the fruits of the Spirit so as not to harm anyone but I will not puss foot around anymore when a conversation needs to happen. Now that is proactive for everyone’s good. So much negativity and energy can be saved if real eye to eye conversations happen. So much good is done that way. And here is my new manifesto… Keep moving forward wisely but with fruit (of the Spirit). I will do the right thing as often as I can, every time if possible.😄❤

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Snubbed

A neighbor down the street has snubbed my children. She has actually been training her kids to snub them. She will deign to allow them to play when it is convenient (she drops them off and leaves so she can do something) and then does not allow most other times. It would be hard not to take this personally, as it feels like she believes herself to be of greater value (I mentioned we live in the same subdivision) or something. My daughter also talked to her girls about Jesus and they bragged that they do not go to church. I wonder if that has something to do with it. But then they tell us they are looking to sell their house and move to a posh, overpriced development down the street, looking for the “forever home”, whatever the heck that means. And I get it. Some people are just unintelligent and chasing things they want to afford and it blinds them to things like consideration, kindness, decency, etc. And I feel sorry for her. She must be very sad and unfulfilled to have to have more than those around her and let them know that. She needs Jesus. So I have determined to pray for her. And perhaps the next convenient play date I can have her over for tea and share the joy and peace of Jesus with her.

Every snub is an opportunity to love on someone who absolutely needs it. It is not personal but spiritual with them every time. Praise God!❤

Just a Reminder About Grass

Just a friendly reminder: Grass is never greener on the other side/someone else’s yard unless it’s the weeds you are noticing. Weeds can look pretty green, even have pretty little flowers on them, and there may be playground equipment on it that looks mighty fun. But alas, upon closer inspection, weeds, only rotten weeds, and the playground is broken down, only looks fun, no substance. Nope, take care of your own grass, tend it, fertilize it, own it. When it finally dies, pave it and paint it green. Memorize this: “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” ❤

What Do You Do If You Can’t Trust Someone?

If you can’t trust someone, I have a foolproof method of maintaining a relationship with this person. Pull up a chair and lean in, this is really good, based on my extensive life experience…

Ready?…

You trust God instead of them. God is trustworthy and no other person I have met (with a very few exceptional cases) is trustworthy. Just trust God. Put your trust only in Him.

Let me expand a bit. Go in with eyes wide open with this person. Do not trust them. Continue not to, people do not change unless they allow God to change them. Let trust in them die, do not maintain unrealistic expectations of them, know they are untrustworthy and do not be hurt or surprised or take it personally. They cannot help it, they have a sin sickness. They are in a human body on a sinful planet, right? Well… what do you expect? Unless people choose to be humble and allow God to rule their decision making, they are going to lie, sin, screw up. Heck, the same is true for me and even you. Just how it is. People have to humbly align their will under God’s to start looking as trustworthy as God is. And even then, one wrong move and bam.

So the key to getting along with people is realizing that everyone is a sin – possible person and is inherently untrustworthy. You accept that and put your trust, faith and security in God who cannot help but be trustworthy and happens to love you and also, ya know, rules everything because He made everything. That God of the Universe, your Heavenly Father, our hope, peace, joy, love, etc. Trust God. He cannot and will not let you down. And there it is. You are welcome.😄❤

Loving People Anyway

People often stink. They just really often think in a myopic, selfish way and it is just stinky behavior. And they talk that way or only talk to get their way. That happens a lot. We have a daughter that doesn’t have the courtesy to call unless she needs money. She won’t even return our call for us to get the grandkids their presents. We love her anyway. I love everyone anyway. Here is how. I remember how stinky my behavior is sometimes and that God loves me anyway. He has poured that grace on me out of love. So, I can return His love by living the people He lovingly made. Despite how they act, they are His creation and He loves them and wants them saved. So disrespecting them and not showing love to them is like spitting in His face and I really, REALLY don’t want to ever do that. So I love because God first loved me. That is how I do it. It is the only way you can. It is being the light to them so they remember the warmth and beauty the light brings and want to return to it.❤

Why Pornography Hurts Marriages

Pornography is not innocent fun. It hurts relationships and here is how, from a Christian wife’s perspective.

1. Trust is blown. The adulterer (person engaging in porn) has committed an adultery against his/her spouse. This has been done against the spouse’s back most of the time and been lied about. This tears down a trust wall pretty quickly.

2. It makes the spouse look bad/be easily disrespected because the spouse engaging in porn is viewed by the spouse as a self-control-less dog, some animal that can’t even control the sexual urges enough to keep sex between them only.

3. The spouse engaging in porn is dishonoring his/her spouse but the implied message that he/she is not enough to satisfy them, not airbrushed and misproportioned like those viewed, not unnatural enough, not good enough, not worth honoring with faithfulness.

4. The spouse engaging in porn develops a perverted and incorrect view of sex and becomes more and more difficult to make love (big difference) to their spouse. The plastic bimbos for hire are sex slaves and intimacy suffers enormously with the spouse who is not a sex slave but was designed to be so much more.

5. God is dishonored. This is the most important problem with porn. God is dishonored because you are saying by engaging in porn that what He says is irrelevant and unimportant and that disobedience and disrespect cannot help but separate you from a joyful prayer life and close relationship with God and if not repented from can cost you much more in eternity.

There are other reasons porn is sin and horrible for relationships, but these are the main ones I have found to be true and why couples should seek help if engaging in porn has become a habit (addiction illness) or if it has created a rift in the relationship. And God is only ever a humble prayer away to help also. ❤

Nipping Problems in the Bud

We had to let our lead singer go in our band for a myriad of reasons which everyone left agreed upon. And he did not accept our decision that was best for him/his deteriorating health as well as the band, so he decided to be divisive by calling other band members and causing problems and whining like a child. So, here we have a problem, a potentially big one. But his tactics were ineffectual. Why? How do you nip problems in the bud? Here is the easiest way… good communication. We talk. My husband says “Adults talk”. Children whine, adults talk. That is it. We talked. I talked and explained for the decision we had wrestled over for a freakishly long time and our line of reasoning beforehand. Then the band was prepared for his childish antics and knew we were on the right page. Some people’s pride will not release them of wanting to do what they feel good doing even if their health is compromised and a good friend steps in to intervene and save them from their self. And my conscience is clear and everyone is good and excited about our new members and energy and new songs again and we are moving forward together, more united for it and clear of conscience knowing we did the right thing for him and us. Good communication accomplishes that. And of course before any communication occurs, we pray first and God provides the right words at the right time for the right reasons. So really it is two fold… good communication with God and with everyone else. And then the details, good or bad, will work themselves out. ❤