So, this song has been on my mind lately. The thing is that when you accumulate some years during “maturity”, you reminisce in quiet moments. You regret some. You appreciate others. You wonder at your own sanity or insanity when the opposite would have been called for at different times. You get why you are largely alone now, preferring the stability of a few close friends to popularity from the world of strangers and denegration. And it hits you that although the past may hold most of your ambitions and loves and passionate pursuits and hard times and incredibly amazing and perfect moments, all of it accumulated to get you to the most important moment of our life… the NOW. And you may have left some love out there floating around, rejected for a while but you know remembered by them now and again, and you may have left some pretty harsh treatment being forgiven beyond deserving, that God brought you to this place to forgive now and love who you can now. Better. Bigger. With maybe less ambition but much more wise fervor. And maybe, now, as He has blessed you with survival and presence, you can give God back some love He gave you through it all. He has been your constant, precious friend. He is the Lover our souls all wanted and still want. And treasure your precious gift that everything else has led to… NOW. ❤❤❤
In true musician style, while everyone is preparing for the hurricane, my husband is subbing for a guitarist in our old band at a gig. Some people worry and some make music. Lol. Love it. Puts things into perspective. Music is the very best therapy for any occasion. Kinda glad they didn’t need a keyboardist, though. I took the kids and wind-proofed mom’s house and spent some time reassuring her, played some games, and walked her dog. Glad we had that time with her. And then after getting home and getting the kids to bed, I went outside and looked up at the stars, which thankfully were out. And I just felt this wave of appreciation flood over me. How great is our God! He is so precious and loving, detailing even a boring night sky with beautiful diamonds twinkling down to reassure us He is paying attention and is enormous and perfect. And I thought that God must be a musician too. What a beautiful moment. ❤❤❤
Lately, I have laid to rest two very dear friends and my Daddy I love is fading fast. And it occurred to me just exactly how precious every single good thing is in reality. It is so very easy to see things as mundane and take them for granted and tomorrow they may not be here at all. Things happen just that fast sometimes. It is heartbreaking and devastating if you focus on the badness of all of that, the heaviness, the weight of it on your head and heart. However, one thing is I know I am so prayed for and that God has answered prayers of my loved ones still with me and has given me this perspective… be thankful for every moment, every second, every kiss, every touch, every dinner together, every cup of hot cocoa curled up in front of a movie together, every hand holding yours, every shared song, every time your band plays together, even for crappy practices, everything good. Value it. Cherish it. Take pictures. Be very thankful. Then, when bad things happen as they are bound to, we can have amazing memories and moments in time and prayers of appreciation for these things to lift us from the mire. And a life of appreciation brings about positive from an otherwise negative experience. Fortunately, my friends and soon my Daddy went to heaven and I will see them again and they are happy and whole and pain free right now. That is a positive. The positive, happy things HAVE to be the focus. Too much focus on the pain of loss or sadness or moments you will miss or regrets will destroy anyone. Appreciating the now moments, every single one, prevents regrets and keeps one positive and hopeful and in love with life. We have to do this to self preserve and to be amazing and strong people amidst hardship. Otherwise, what was the point? If we are destroyed with the first bad, how high can we hold our heads? How can we represent our Maker God that way? We are saying He is not enough for us. And He is. Really if all we had is ourselves and Him, we’re still good. Because He can make a whole other way, a new life, a new journey, a new journey partner. God can do anything He pleases, so let us thank Him for what treasures He gives us all the time and appreciate all this and we let His goodness, strength and creativity flow through us. Every moment. Pay attention to them. Love them. Live in them.
We do things for love we would never do for any other reason. I don’t mean stalking or applying tattoos to our poor skin or anything. 🙂 I mean that love in its pure form empowers us to see beyond the ugly duties face with to the soul of the person we are doing it for. Love sees with different eyes. For love, we can tolerate many discomforts. For love, we can support the unsupported and care for the uncared for. For love, we can sing the right song at the right time and for love, we can sit quietly and hold the needy soul. For love, we hope and we commit. We all need love and we all need to be loved. There are so many people needing love that you need only find one that needs what you have to offer and a soul connection is made. God fills you with His love and it pour out onto others in a deeply beautiful way. Our soul does not rest easy without the giving and getting of love. Guard it well. When you experience such an exchange, value it and treasure and remember that perfect moment. And with God’s blessing, you will have many such treasures stored in your mind in the years ahead of you. And smiles will prevail over scowls and contentment will follow your steps.
When seasons in our life change suddenly, we have choices concerning what to do with that information. We can mull over the past or hope it goes back to that soon, living in the rear view mirror so to speak. We can wonder where it is taking us and spend time worrying about what is ahead. Or we can live one day at a time until some semblance of stability returns. Remembering that God is in charge of this universe, I can choose to trust that He is taking us on a journey for a reason and just do our best to live life or not. My peaceful season has passed and its innocence and naivete. And on the journey we go into distantly familiar waters of leadership and care taking and wondering if people will honor requests or sneak around more carefully and dip into the cookie jar when I know it is not beneficial to do so. How do you keep someone from grabbing up what should be left alone in a moment of perceived hunger? How do you tell someone you respect and love that some things should just be left alone? How do I explain how much I fear losing a man who has cared for me so long? How do you make your importance their importance? How do you explain that integrity of Spirit has more to do with the unseen than the seen, the heart than the physical? How do you get someone to find wrong what is wrong but has been reasoned away as no big deal? Does he have the reasoning skills to understand what he thinks is is no big deal hurts his family and himself? Does dementia take away that ability to get it? I guess this blog is more questions than answers, but one thing I am certain of is that God knows what He is doing. We are asked to go down a path for a reason. You may want something, such as honor, value and love and get selfishness and pride back. You may want to be treasured and get disinterest back. You may in this life want appreciation and get betrayal back. All of these things are possible UNLESS you are asking the right Person. Everyone in this life will let you down at some point except God. The perfect Holy One will love you every time, appreciate you, not let you down, value you, treasure you. See, maybe I’ve needed this reminder that even if people don’t appreciate what I do enough to honor me above themselves, God gave His Son’s life up to buy me back from the enemy. That is how valuable I am to Him. No matter how ugly or betrayed I ever feel by anyone, God has never called me anything but His beautiful adopted child that He does everything for. No matter how many mistakes I make, God will honor me as His amazing handiwork. That is pretty incredible.
The more I study people and the more I study the Bible, the more beautiful people become to me in my mind’s eye. There is less and less beauty I see in the provocative clothing and outlandish makeup and plastic surgeries. More and more do I appreciate the beauty in an 80 year old woman whose wisdom shows through her eyes with the strength of knowing you’ve won the games out there. There is beauty in a person when the strength of their character outshines their appearance, no matter what that is. And there is beauty even in the untouchables or seemingly unlovables because of the simple fact that they were especially designed by the Creator. We all are amazingly beautiful because God purposefully designed us. We all possess some form of His beauty and specialness. We all start this world off with beauty and originality and gifts. Before we even enter the womb, we were thought out and designed by our Creator with our specific gifts, talents, struggles, emotions, etc. You are beautiful! God designed you to exactly as you are and even first thing in the morning with crazy hair, no makeup, fifty extra pounds, horrible breath, no coffee yet, whatever, you are spectacular because a little bit of heaven can not help but be left behind by a heavenly Creator when He made you. Stop trying to be less than the amazing person of beauty that God created you to be. Stop trying to fit someone else’s mold or be talked into another version of beauty that fails to measure up to God’s intentions for you. Stop seeing yourself through someone else’s eyes and see yourself as God sees you… beautiful!
This is a sad story. It begins, as many stories do, with an abandoned, unwanted, sick, unlovely cat showing up at our doorstep, begging us to be his family. Unable to send such a wretch away, we adopted this cat and loved it full bore. We heaped food, water, medicine, warmth, comfort, all we could. In time, this sickly, skin-and-bones cat grew healthier. He gained weight, he grew less sick, and he was family. We loved him. I loved him. We named him “Go Eat, Baby”, because that’s what we said to him most often. So far, sounds like a happy ending. However, the neighbor neglected to keep her pit bull mix (that had been mistreated) in her home and it was loose. It came into our yard and attacked and killed our precious cat we had nursed back to health. It was horrible, heart-breaking and devastated us all. This was yesterday. After late nights for everyone over our grief, I sat down to the computer to look for distraction. And it hit me. That is what Jesus goes through every day with us. We are that cat. We crawled to Him as a last resort, all hope gone. He lovingly adopts us and nurses us back to health. When we are starting to do well and enjoy life, here comes Satan to attack and kill us if he can. We must not let him! We must not give him that power! We are safe in the arms of Jesus as long as we stay there. If we run back when danger draws near, we squash all the generosity and meaning that Jesus heaped on us and invested in us already. He nourishes us. We must rest in Him and continue our path to a healthy soul!!