I long for home, meaning heaven or back on a farm in Michigan. You could get away to work alone on the farm, be in a sort of solitary enjoyment and working the land God made. I love and miss that quiet that never happens in a big city suburb in the third most populated state in the US, Florida. If you live busy, fun, crowded beaches, theme parks, sun every day, beautiful tropical plants all over year round, this is the place to come. If you want to be alone and still and quiet, enjoying nature, you would have as much trouble ad I am. I love people, just not so many so close. Especially when driving.
However, God has helped me be internally at peace amidst this perpetual chaos. He has trained me to listen to Him and I can do that now even when it is busy, busy, busy. And this has been a great learning experience and I no longer want to shoot out people’s tires and I am much more calm when they take my parking spot. I am certain the peace of God has kept me out of jail, come to think of it. And, in all seriousness, I know it has made me a better person in every way. Yes, I still want heaven or a farm in thr middle of nowhere, but I will take peace inside as a beautiful way of life and a tool to still have peace in chaos.😄❤
Today was the first day of Homeschool PE at the park for our kids. And I stuck to my guns and did not coach this year. The hardest part was my kids coming up to me, excitedly anticipating me as their coach. I am glad I had made such an impression and they will do great with the new mom who stepped n in to coach. I need to be able to not be there if my mom needs me; she will be moving sometime within the year. So, I did it and let someone else have the reins this year. Hard but done.
And I am happy, got to walk the dog around the field and talk to a friend. That was peaceful. Confirmed my decision and I am content. Sometimes necessary choices are difficult but the best thing. And you pray about it and just make the decision and go. And God is so good to confirm your good decision with peace.😄❤
Resting in the arms of Jesus is where I have been a lot lately. The world is moving quickly and not necessarily in good internal directions and seems everyone seems stressed out or busy and distracted. My friend was in an accident where the joker pulled out in front of her in the rain then took off while her car was totalled. And she had a baby in the car with her. Many of such selfishness lately. Out to dinner we look around and everyone is on their phones or tablets for kids and I wonder why they waste money going out when they could be in a closet at home doing exactly the same thing. This widespread addiction is out of hand and aiding the distraction quota.
So, I breathe and rest peacefully in the arms of Jesus, my Savior and friend. The Maker of everything is still in charge, has still won the battle against our enemy, loves me and you tremendously, and is coming back to get us soon. I rest in His peace and joy and I can tell you that I make time to pray and read my Bible and be still with God and it is beautifully serene no matter what else is going on. He is what matters and I am so content in Him.😄❤
I have started this new thing. Correction, the Holy Spirit has finally been allowed by me to start this new thing. He has given me definitive clarity on this 8 day fast I am on. (I generally fast 24 hours weekly on Eednesdays and have aince September but I was told told fast while my son is away in Honduras on a missions trip and I am obeying.) On day 3 today, something started this decision. I screwed up. I accidentally ruined something of my husband. He is generally very abrasive and passive aggressive for days and does not forgive easily and keeps bringing it up and making me feel like an idiot for weeks/months/years about it. This is generally his reaction when I mess up pretty much anything, and I am clutzy and mess up a lot. Anyway, before I reacted to his tirade after I confessed my really dumb screw up and harm to his possession, I prayed. I prayed to ask God to help him not be so mad and to help him to be able to forgive me. After a few more angry and hostile comments about my disrespecting him and destroying his thing, something amazing happened. 1. I had total peace. I knew I screwed up and had confessed and will make an effort to be much more careful and certainly did not intend to harm it or disrespect him. God gave me peace. And 2. God helped him calm down and try to figure out how to salvage it. He relaxed a bit. Amazing.
And I am thus on a new selfish mission of self-preservation. I will pray before reacting and responding. I did not say a word in response to initial tirade. I humbly prayed in response before I pridefully opened my mouth, which would have made matters worse. I just prayed. Not only does this help everything but also conveys trust in God and faith that He can and will intervene to help me, the little girl He chooses to love. I can draw closer to Him in this relationship. He can maintain peace in me no matter what tempest rages outside these walls of flesh. Praise God who always answers prayer!!!❤❤❤