Hanging on to a deep hurt from our past is like clenching a secret box of pain or bad choices or addiction that we have made a treasure of. We protect it. We keep it. We, like Gallum of the Lord of the Rings book series by J. R. Tolkien, call it “my precious” and would die to keep it and protect it.
Meanwhile, this protected box, though feeling familiar and safe and only ours, is killing us softly, keeping us bondage to it. We think we are holding our box but that box is holding us.
How do you feel safe enough to let it go? Only one way. We have to choose to do so. We have to humbly want to put the box down. As soon as we want Him to, God will take it from you. And He is with you along the way trying to get your attention to let you know life is better without that evil box we have been treasuring. Forgiveness is release of the pain and hurt in full pardon- you choose to forgive. Prayer is a powerful tool to help get you there. Love is too.
Let me encourage you by saying how freeing and light is to put the bad box treasure down. You feel as though you can fly without it. It is beautiful! And God is so very good!😄❤
We love gigging. It is how we met, is extra pocket money for us, is a shared music passion, is our only mutual hobby and really all we do together other than eat. So gigging with our band or at church is amazing to us, we live it. God gives us joy but we get our sheer happiness and bliss from music, the talent God gave us.
However, as we are not younger and younger but quite the opposite is in fact true, it is quite a pain to load and unload the equipment twice per gig, lots of gear and we carry for everyone. It is a lot, it is heavy, and it is time consuming. We try to minimize this by having our kids be our roadies (for a little pocket money). This helps but today that didn’t work because they were not here. And as my husband’s knees are needing replacement, I have the crux of the load. It is a lot of work.
But I have never been a stranger to hard work. And to be truthful (and please add dramatic pause for I am about to make a deep, poignant statement), you receive much fuller joy when you have to work for it, even if it hurts. When it costs something, it is worth more. When you work for it, it is sweeter.😄 ❤
To be everything to a man
Then be nothing,
Knowing now someone else is everything to him,
Feeling the sting of knowing him
Better than anyone
Then being discarded,
To love deeper than anyone
Then be hated by the beloved,
This pain is unfathomable.
This pain should be illegal.
This pain keeps biting after the snake is dead.
The pain is deep.
Never do this to anyone.
Never provide this pain.
Take care who you choose to love.
Take care whose love you accept.
Take care of love while you have it.❤
As a doctor, I know some stuff about medicine and the human body. And I have read up on many illnesses, they just fascinate me because of my love for humanity and how things work. And a book I read about leprosy opened my eyes to the appreciate pain as a valuable part of life. He documented lepers throughout their illnesses as he treated them. Their biggest problem and sadness was not being able to feel pain, so they would get wounds they didn’t know about. They wanted more than anything to feel pain because they stated they don’t feel alive or a part of life without it. Pain is connection. Since reading that book, I look at pain differently. We barely grow in character with good times, however immense growth and character development happens through pain. At least for me it works that way. I don’t go searching for pain still, but if it comes, I am appreciative of the lesson I search out. It is a good part of connection, learning and life. ❤
So our grown son (from my husband’s previous marriage), the Marine and all around really great guy (maybe a tad biased), gave us the wham banger news that his wife of 4-ish years just left him for her ex-fiance of ancient past, the one who wouldn’t commit. Yep. We were going to visit them this week. Now, instead, he is moving alone out west to room with a Marine brother and a fresh start because he loves her sincerely and everything there is her. And I got to thinking. I had that happen in my ancient past… dumped for an unworthy ex after years of commitment and mutual love. And some people are a blessing in your life when they are there and some are are greater blessing when they go. It is impossible to say and realize that for about are year and that is are fact. Before a year is up, you only say it through clenched jaw. But how much worse to end up in many years with someone who hates you and has run you into the ground or stolen your freedom and identity and taken all your purpose to suit them and then threw you out or selfishly cheated. And like I was, he is blessed to start afresh and have us praying for him and encouraging him, and whatever God had for Him can be more apparent without someone half there and unsupportive. Nonetheless, as horrible as divorce is, sometimes you are forced to face it and change everything and that is never easy. So if you think of it, please pray for our son to find the path God wants Him now. God is the healer of hearts and Maker and Lifter of our heads. Thank you and God bless us, everyone!❤