Misunderstood

In my heart, I believe I am someone who tries very hard to be good and do and say the right thing because I have been saved from death into life through Christ’s sacrifice and resurrection. I know the great amount of sin I am capable of and have been a part of, so I appreciate dearly the payment for my soul. I believe I am worthwhile and loved and important to God because He tells me that is true of me and everyone He made. He tells me that quite plainly in the Bible. From the unborn baby to the elder near death, it is true of us all. So, because of my appreciation and love back to God and His Son, I do my best to live in service to Him and others. Despite my best efforts, sometimes without really purposing to do so, I invariably serve myself instead. It is not wrong to live life to meet your needs or desires, as long as they do not wrong someone else or offend God by it, but when we try to do good and bad comes instead, I realize it sometimes too late. Sometimes it is quite unintentional and I do not even realize it until the offense has been made. Sometimes it was bad delivery of something good or sometimes the other person wasn’t ready to accept it because of something in their life. Most people have their own version of every incident or conversation. They hear from their mind and screen the words through its replays of past experiences. So, something supposed to encourage looks the opposite or a simple question looks like an accusation. I know I meant to help but it comes across the opposite. So now, when I pray, I ask the Lord for wisdom to say the right thing at the right time for the right reasons. I do not want to be misunderstood and kill my witness or relationship or whatever. I love deeply those few I let into my circle. Very few know how deeply I love, and I wish to be able to express that more for their sake and the Lord’s. I don’t want to be misunderstood. It hurts everyone. I purpose to be clear and accurate. I used to be very funny but clarity has become more of a focus to me because funny would hurt people sometimes and I don’t want to hurt anyone. So, though often I am still misunderstood because my mouth preceded my mind again, I always mean to help. I am actively working on this and just wanted to voice that.