In a Homesick Funk Lately

Not sure why, but lately feeling homesick. I want to be around family and my aunts and cousins and home town and sister and nephews and neices. I miss everyone. I miss my good friends. I miss everyone. I was okay being far away for a while because I had a lot of healing and learning to do. Now, I miss them. I am healed and have learned and want to go home. There is the problem, this is my home now. My husband does not want to even visit my hometown and in fairness, I had never given an indication before of needing to. So, I know we will all be together in heaven and probably not before at the rate this world is moving towards Jesus’ return, but just know family and home church and friends that I love you and wish I could be with you! God bless you all! ❤

Missing My Son

My son went last night to spend a week and a half with his dad and grandparents in Pennsylvania. I miss him already. Even with the weird hormonal roller coaster he is riding as a teenager, he and I have always been tight and together. I still have my daughter now and look forward to some time with her. But one thing we can do when away from loved ones is pray for them. I can pray and I know God keeps us close in Spirit for we share the Holy Spirit as Christians. I know he is praying also. And that makes it better and easier somehow. And I look forward to the day he returns and I’m the meanwhile glad he can spend some good family time with his grandparents and dad. ❤

On Missing

Sometimes you just have to miss an important person from your pass. Miss them, think about them, love them, pray for them, wish them the best, and move the heck on. Sometimes you have to feel it and then walk on. It just is. And if that person was meant to be there and God wanted them there, they would be there. Accept it, miss them, cry for a bit if you need to, hug a trusted neck if you need to, and then keep moving. Stop if you need, then get up again and keep going. Has to be done. We got this. God helps.❤

Well Over a Year Apart

I still miss my Daddy. Don’t get me wrong, I am celebrating that he is whole and happy and in charge of the choir or farming in heaven or something he loves. I know he is happy and carefree now and full of life and basking in the rewards he accumulated doing great things on this earth. No doubt in my mind at all. But in this shell, I still miss him. I am depressed no more, God healed me of that, but I still get very quiet now and again. He always had my back. He was one of a very few. He loved me unconditionally. I was his little girl and still am. So, I have taken on his oxe-like strength and greater humbleness and asked God to retain these reminders of him and it has been granted. I also sing better now and I think that was also a gift passed down, a blessing. I remember his eyes dancing every time I walked in the room and his enormous smile. God is my Daddy now and I am content most days and only when I am weak is it not enough. That is dumb though, because God loves me perfectly. I guess that imperfect love that is real is ok to miss sometimes too, though. It is ok. I am ok with still missing him. But I know I will see him, probably sooner than later, the way the world is pushing things along. I am ready. Be ready too.❤

In Memory of Family

We have lost family. I wanted to remember them. Here is to time together. We love you dearly still though you chose to leave us. May God bless you and keep you close to Him as we are not allowed to be. God is for you! You are always welcome. ❤

Missing Kat
Kat LaLonde, our Lost Daughter in Law
Wil Sepulveda Missing
Wil Sepulveda, Our Lost Drumming Brother

Feeling Blue

Today, as we had homeschool P.E. this morning and I coach and knew I in my old age would be exercising with young energetic kids for an hour and a half, used today as one of my 2 days off of walking 3.0-3.8 miles. The other is Sunday, so studying with kids keeps me focused on the Lord. But today, despite the celebration we put on for my daughter’s birthday, I fought feelings of blue. Why? And it just dawned on me as I put her to bed that I missed my intense alone time with God in the morning. I genuinely missed it. I missed Him. I wanted time with just Him. Time to just talk to and listen to Him, share life, worship, celebrate His creation, be strengthened, just be with Jesus and listen to His Holy Spirit. I was blue because I missed my Heavenly Daddy. So I am off to read His Words and talk to Him. May you do the same! Love you and wow, so does He!!❤❤❤

A Productive Day

Today, I missed him again. It didn’t cripple me this time but brought about a strong desire to be productive and live life extra deep, with intense meaning, realizing one less person is here to love me. So, I walked a double, played and sang with greater intensity in band practice, worked a little on tying the quilt, shopped for groceries faster, trimmed more jasmine in the backyard, cooked an amazing steak and potatoes for the fam, did the dishes right away, spent more time with the kids, spoke to help and encourage two friends, showered and feel amazing. Lots of other little things, but I feel honored that God got me over the hump to reflective productivity when I miss him. I was so blessed to have him as long as I did. Was sure good to be and feel loved. Missing will always be there somewhere until heaven but it is becoming a scar tattoo of Jesus. I am growing closer to Him and He is reflecting more in me. Jesus is my hope and love. Praise God!!!❤❤❤