As we grow and mature over time in whatever we practice (for better or for worse), the same has been true of my musical journey and I wanted to explore and share that. Trained as a note- reading classical pianist who could not memorize music to save my life, but well- versed and cozy performing on stage (singing and playing piano and both). I knew and understood chords but not how to use one and had never seen a chord chart, though I had dabbled and dismissed “fake books” (chords and melody line).
Then comes my initiation to a band. Immediately I understand that most band members use chord charts, never look at sheet music, and figure out the lead by listening over and over as slowly as possible. The object was for the entire band to play successfully songs together. I do realize that not all band members are easy to work with. (Was that an incredible understatement or what?)
And here I am today. We just gigged tonight to cover for a sick band and we had so much fun. Our present objective: bring the audience into the music and share that music with them as a band collective, providing a venue for them to dance and sing along and reminisce and just enjoy themselves. And our band members get along like family and all respect each other and no drama and just absolutely loving to play together for the people. It has developed into such a beautiful, fun experience.
I am thankful for this development. God is growing me up in yet another area of my life and I am humbled and so thankful for it. ❤
Being 40+, much of what I have focused on through life getting here did not really signify. Much would have no lasting value, no eternal component, just distraction and noise. Much I walked over or through very quickly should have been explored, deepened, much more time spent because of its eternal component. There is here and now which is survival for the moment and there is here and now which affects your eternity. As you mature, you realize this and plan the next steps more thoughtfully. Really getting this would have changed so much of my behavior and choices from then, which is theory and bears no relevance to the now. However, knowing this makes the now much more meaningful as an opportunity to put this valuable wisdom into practice. Think of the eternal before attempting to act or speak. ❤
I think maturity is acceptance. I think we who strive to mature wisely (and I have found it is a purposeful decision) must push toward acceptance of all things. Yes, we may want to change things and yes, when asked (for that is the only time it is ever accepted) we must speak truth and wisdom learned from life to others headed toward wrong/detrimental decisions. But we strive for acceptance. Acceptance that we are not in control oft anything but ourselves and we need God for even that. Acceptance that others have every right in the world to ignore all wisdom and logic. Acceptance that we may be alone with God for long periods of time and that is ok. Acceptance that when walking with God, we will be attacked more than those from other religions even because God is alive and so is His enemy (and His enemy can’t hurt God so tries to hurt His children). Acceptance that I must walk in humble prayer all the time, constantly. Acceptance that there is always a new lesson and annul ways something to do but rest is a part of that too. Acceptance that nothing is perfect or fair until Heaven.❤
4 factors: 1. Level of Selfishness. 2. Level of Brokenness. 3. Level of Maturity. 4. Choice/Free Will.
Some people are just selfish and most are broken in some way. Our brokenness can be used as a stumbling block and/or excuse to do what you want for yourself to get your own way because it is all about you. Or. There is a better way. The brokenness can yield understanding and depth of character if one is humble enough and mature enough to learn the lesson and grow from it and grow close to God who can help.
The first group of people will never change until they decide to. And if we need to protect ourselves or children from them, then we must. The second group of people are the most beautiful and intriguing people in the world. ❤
The Lord has brought me to a new home in my soul, a retreat of acceptance. There is a maturity, forged by intense, deep suffering, longing, loneliness, forgiveness, then acceptance. At least for this moment, I am certain and feel warmly thankful that God has brought me through the worst of times. It only took and year, and that sounds like a lot but some people carry it around forever and self-education to ease the burden of it. I feel and am very blessed to be here right now at this new residence of acceptance. And the effort and tears are well worth the process because when God solves the matter, the cleansing is intense, thorough and deep so it lasts forever. No baggage to carry around anymore and when I realized it this morning while walking and talking with the Lord, I could not stop crying thankful, joyful tears of relief. It is beautiful. Thank you, God!❤❤❤
I looked back today at how incredibly far I have grown/matured/learned in the last couple of years. And I was struck at how far God had to bring me and the extremes He had to use to get my attention. I honestly had not admitted or even believed I was so prideful and stubborn. I had taken care of myself (in my eyes) for so long that I did not see that God had taken care of me all along. I trusted myself and now trust God. I had taken pride in what my hands made and did and now take pride in what God allows me to do for His glory. I had been addicted to technology and wasted time on it for self-glorification and laziness and now I use my gifts to bring glory to God. This humbleness is God’s greatest and hardest won achievement in me. It took a journey of death and separation, of dread and loneliness, of depression and mourning, and now this glorious light of God pours out of me. I want to worship, love opening my Bible and reading it as truth in love, love meeting with a church family, there is nothing better than fostering this relationship with God on a deep, spiritual level. Everything else works itself out. It is passion, a fire relic by God and now used for Him. I am so thankful. Praise God Almighty who draws us to Himself in any way we let Him! Praise Him for His ceaseless, tireless love for us to continue pulling us to Himself and keep giving chances with such enormous grace! Praise God for never letting us forget His love and blessings on us! Praise God for truth and hope and being that!
Being actively involved in the process of my mom working through my dad’s illnesses, including dementia and strokes. Finances had to be changed, titles had to be changed, Power of Attorney had to be assigned, social security had to be worked through and with, daily tasks of caring for him before the nursing home had to be performed, and it was all I could do at times to keep breathing much less homeschool my kids and care for the dog. Then when mom broke her hip too, my mind is still recovering I think. It was constant, ruled my life or what there was of it, everyone suffered I normally cared for. Now that the nursing home is covering dad’s day to day care and meds, etc., there is more time to enjoy visiting him and less to break the back caring for him. I hated the nursing home idea at first but now I see its value. But the point is not all of this about nursing homes, the point is that unexpected things happen in life. Life is constantly in a state of flux and things happen. These things are sometimes tests, sometimes punishments it seems, sometimes horribly limiting for whatever reason and when all of these things happen, security is shaken. You become uncertain where you were once certain. You question whose name things are in, not because of wanting control but just in case things happen like they did to mom. What if becomes a big question, a genuine, serious question and not a hypothetical. You wonder what you can be sure of. You ask more security questions in other areas, other relationship. You want to know standing, understand meaning, know your place and significance. When you don’t receive answers, you instantly have a choice to make. No answer becomes no security just as certain as a day off is short. Security now, see, means so much more. There is weight to the supposition. There is reality that has been experienced. You have crashed already and do not wish to relive that crash if possible. So security in my life has taken on a whole new level. Safety and security and risks are all important aspects of a real workable life and I am necessarily needing these things. Without assurrances and answers, I now see an expedient withdrawal wise. Without security, I do not feel safe anymore. I never cared about that pre-crisis. I was content to fly by the seat of my pants and wing it most of the time, loving the freedom of that. Now, I need security above that, the importance of things has shifted. And I see that as a point of sadness at times but also as a point of maturity and thankfulness because I can learn and be taught and apply that to my life to make it better and help more people in return.