Advice for Marriage

1. No one is perfect. Forgive. You need forgiveness too. Forgive how you want to be forgiven, not what they deserve.

2. Build your relationship with God and depend on God. The spouse is not God and will let you down, can’t help it. God never will let you down.

3. A spouse can only be who they are. Don’t expect more or less and you have friends and God for what they cannot provide (I mean compliments or conversations or what not). If he/she always criticizes, find a friend for compliments or better yet learn more about what God says about you in the Bible and be satisfied with that.

4. Marriage commitment is binding. No divorce, you gotta make it work. Keep your problems between you and God, work it out, stay humble. And refer back to number 1. Repeat.❤

A Good Man

I am married to a very good man. All good men and women are humans so none of us is perfect. I screw up all the time, despite my best efforts. And so does he. And while some people hold people to an impossible perfection expectation, I have no bent toward that particular sin and accept him as he is, with hope that he accepts me as I am too, “warts and all”, as the Brittish put it. And I believe sincerely that God can bond and unite two imperfect people and create from them someone better and more able to serve Him and others, and that common goal helps unify. It further helps that we are bonded by music. I believe all marrieds should have something in common to do together. And may God bless us all. ❤

A Selfish Spouse

Our band brother was a passionate, wonderful drummer who loved drumming and was great to work with, our friend for 8 years. He married a selfish, narcissistic woman who made him quit the two bands he was in with us, church band and our band, and made him quit our church and disassociate with all of us. Recently, I found out she also made him sell all his drum kit too, and I am certain that was his therapy in dealing with her and life in general. This is an extreme example of a selfish spouse. She doesn’t want a life partner nearly as much as a servant or slave for life. It is pathetic and horrible and definitely not God’s design for marriage. In fact, masters are not even supposed to treat their servants so poorly. Ok, so I am writing this for two reasons. Wil, if you are out there, we all in your band family feel your pain and love you and believe in you both as a person and a great drummer. And people, when you marry, know that the other person matters as much as you do. You are to share love and respect and honor and support each other. Build each other up and not put them down, most especially their God given gifts because you will be punished for doing so. Love each other as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. This self-sacrifice (not self-ishness) characterizes a true Christian. ❤ 

Practicing Joy and Peace

In marriage, you have a lot of time to practice joy and peace. Happiness is direct reaction to circumstances so joy and peace are quite different as they are deep enough to keep you soundly whether or not your circumstances are favorable or heavy. And marriage is the constant bending of my will and bowing of my head in compromise. Ideally both are doing so but my responsibility is what I am doing. So bad day for spouse often would be bad day for me but as my relationship with God has deepened and grown and ripened, my joy and peace have sunk in to depths impenetrable by surface tremors. It is tested though some days, like today. It seems like the happier I come in from my devotion walk, the more the enemy will try through my husband to discourage me. And I have to remember that my fight is not against flesh and blood and certainly not against my husband who I am bonded with. And the more the attacks, the greater the joy and peace. And that boggles the mind but is because Jesus endured so much for us, for me too, out of His sheer love for us, so amazingly. And to have difficulty and yet not sin in it and go to Him with it and pray and give it to Him who is capable of understanding and powerful enough to dissolve it is to honor Him. And I want everything I do and say you honor Him. He is everything. So I practice my joy and peace and feel exceedingly blessed to be so greatly loved by my Heavenly Father, who happens to be the Creator of the universe and me and you.❤❤❤

Changing Plans and Being Ready

So apparently, the second week after a hurricane, some things are still not back to normal. There is no milk anywhere, so hurricanes produce milk shortages. I never knew that, this being my first one. I am learning as I go here and have to keep changing plans like cooking every day for breakfast instead of sometimes having cereal. Also, took the kids down for homeschool PE and the fields were still closed, so changed gears and did school and yard cleanup instead. Yesterday was already to teach Sunday School and it had been cancelled (found out when I got there) and had to entertain the kids until worship. Evidently things stay closed a long time and everyone assumed you know that. And now I do know, learning as I go. But I would rather be there and be ready and then find out it is postponed than to have go time and be unprepared and sleeping. I think that way about the rapture, the catching away of the true Christians, like the parable of the wedding Jesus spoke of, where half the bridesmaids were ready when the groom came and could attend the marriage ceremony and half were caught unprepared and we’re left behing. I want to be a part of the marriage. Jesus really wants everyone there. He wants people to be ready. No one knows the day or hour but there is a day and hour coming sooner than it was a minute ago, sooner than it was yesterday, soon. Now is the time to purify our hearts and draw close to God in prayer and be ready.❤

Matthew 5:27-30

Matthew 5:27. ‘”You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”‘

Christians know that porn is wrong. It robs the spouse of the sanctity of the marriage, honor, love, reapect, fulfillment with the spouse, feelings of inadequacy leap in as does doubt, distrust, shame, lies. It is no good in a marriage, had no place there or outside a marriage either. It is sin. Just because it is a sin you want to do does not mean it is boot sin. It is just sin you want to do. It robs your spouse. It dishonor them. It does. You can think it doesn’t all day but it does. It leaves you selfishly getting what you want and your spouse lonely and sad and without security in the marriage. No one speaks of it because so common as a secret sin. There is no secret sin, though. God sees. He is in the room with you. He detests it, I assure you. No judgment, just truth of it. Some battles are worth fighting and your marriage is sacred ground which should be protected, where everyone feels safe and loved and honored. 

Twisted Workings

I see around me women working and men often bumbing off of them. Women ruling and men being ruled. Women then having their babies and taking care of them financially and in every way then guys leaving or cheating then leaving because they aren’t getting what they feel they deserved. Even worse, they get kicked out of their current location with the new girl sponsor and move back in with their kid’s mom, the first girl, and getting back with her. And the cycle continues. I saw this recently in someone I thought was a friend. Wow, what an eye opener. This. Is. Wrong. Let me say it again, it is wrong. It is horrible for the kids, horrible for the adults, horrible for all the mistresses who believe the lies, horrible sins against God and humanity. It is hideous, atrocious, and I needed to voice this injustice to the world and demand better behavior from people in society. Pick a spouse and be satisfied with that spouse. Love them. Pour into them. Men, take care of your family, work for God’s sake and take care of them. Stay with and raise your child. Life isn’t just about you. There are many others out there, you Andre not special. The way to be special is to settle down, raise a family, bond with them, take them to church, get close to God, stay with and stand by God and your family, this is how to be a good man. Women, shut up and let them be men they need to be. Encourage them, help them meet good goals for you all, be okay with supportive loving wife. Respect him. Get people out of your lives that do not support your family as a whole. My rant is through. My anger is diminished. Please be good and want right, people. Jesus is Coming soon, no one knows exactly when so be ready. God bless you!