Be Faithful, Dads

I was just thinking about my daddy. He passed two years ago now and I often remember him fondly. His greatest legacy was one of faith. He was faithful. Not just was he a faithful husband to my mom but he was all in, faithful to the core to his faith, his family, his country, his beliefs, his land. He did not stop being what he believed in my whole life. And that is why I am the way I am and believe so strongly in being faithful, being all in to God, my family, my country, my beliefs. It carries down.

Be faithful, dads. You are doing great. Even if you screw up a bit, just swallow that pride and ask forgiveness.. wives and kids are in general very forgiving… and keep being faithful. Or start today to make that legacy to pass down, it is never too late. Just please do keep working at it. You are the head of your house/family and families are why America is so great. You are vitally important to make or break everything, which is proved by how heavily society is attacking you. Be courageous, be all in and be faithful. Like my daddy, the best man who ever walked the earth (other than the God-man Jesus, of course).❤

The Story of a Man

I heard a story of a man from a friend of mine. It reads like a good movie and has hope built in. He was born a long time ago in a land far away with amazing parents who were off and on together, she a great cook and fun loving and he a bit of a mild mannered carrouser, but great parents nonetheless. They were in a rough and tumble big city and the boy grew up sandwiched between four siblings, an older brother and sister and twin younger brothers. The boy was very sensitive in such a rough place so he fought to let no one see his sensitivity and insecurities and literally fought, boxing and fighting and taking on a protective thug exterior. He dated a lot, juggling sometimes, considering himself quite a catch, feeling well protected in his shell. He married too young, wanting a family and had a beautiful little girl. However, they were too young and divorced soon after. Meeting “the one” from school and the neighborhood, a gorgeous gal with a loving but rough dad but no real mom around, they got together and got a place of their own. It was rocky, there was suspicion and cheating and even domestic violence and one day their home was raided and they were separated, tied and beaten severely. Finally getting free from their ropes he was tied with, he left to go back to his mom’s house instead of checking with and helping her in the other part of the house. After healing on their own, they reconnected and got back together and got married. They struggled to support themselves and tried for years to have kids. Finally they had a boy and kept trying and had a girl, beautiful children. But the two fought often, there was an underlying trust issue and insecurities on both sides. And they divorced but still lived together in separate rooms for the kids. She moved across country with the kids and he moved in too, same arrangement. He met a girl and they hit it off, but without them contributing to the income, she was way behind and left for another city with the kids, leaving the man and his girlfriend in the house. After the house was without power or water, she left him and he followed his ex and moved in again, dating woman after woman. Finally, he finds a woman he likes a lot but she is married. He goes after another online, a total psycho in tolerable disguise but willing to share the house she stole from her ex with him if he does exactly what she wants all the time. She forces marriage sooner than he is comfortable with but he goes along, not wanting to be lonely. But soon he tires of the demands and seeks out the married woman he knew before who was everything he ever wanted. He signs the divorce papers and moves back as a roomate with his ex and pursues the woman. Happy in love for the first time in his life, he simultaneously is riddled with guilt because no divorce papers were turned in yet. And a new wrinkle, the ex now wants to find love for herself and kicks him out. Desperate for a place to live and way to relieve his guilt, he abandons the plans with the woman, his true love and soulmate and goes back with the evil controlling con wife and she imprisons him for the rest of his life. He makes the best of it because he does not consider himself worth anymore than that for he has the guilt of hurting so many, not paying child support so long, being lonely and away from those he truly loves, and he believes her lies. Were that the end of the story, it would be so very sad. But it is not the end of the story of this man. You see, this is a man who God loves and who his soulmate loves and who Jesus died and rose to save. And there is nothing ever that God cannot forgive and wipe clean. And this precious soul is worth Jesus dying for and nothing that has ever been done by us is ever bigger than God’s forgiveness. Of course He wants us to stop screwing up and trust Him but He is able and willing to forgive and forget all past wrongs of this man and everyone involved and all over the world. And this man from birth and before and since has such a great capacity for sensitivity to the broken, sensitivity to the Spirit, appreciation and love for family, ability to be proud of his work, ability to be teachable and learn how to fix things and work in nature, can help, can make people feel truly loved, encourage people and make them feel appreciated. And all these characteristics of this man have never been changed, he was just too distracted to see them and had so much trouble forgiving himself or forgetting his wrongs and those done against him with his sensitive and reflective nature. This man has always been loved by God, every moment of every day and every moment for the remainder of life into eternity. And this man knew how loved he was by God and his soulmate, his true love, and he had peace and joy in his current prison and hope of Heaven and was encouraged. And I write this story to share an example of the depth and breadth and height of God’s love for you too. Even very complicated and movie scripted lives, as this story, are never devoid of God’s love and power to heal and forgive and grant hope. No amount of bad decisions are bigger than God’s ability to forgive and forget them when humbly asked. There is hope for the craziest of lives. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone sins. And every sin bears the same weight in God’s eyes, so no one better than anyone else and no one is beyond hope. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar. All can be forgiven by God as soon as they humbly ask Him and bam! All clean and peaceful and joyful! Be free! Know that you are loved beyond your wildest imagination! Let this man’s amazing story my friend told me bring you hope as it brought me hope. Be blessed!

The Perfect Man

The perfect man is always trustworthy and never lies. He is always, always faithful. He always appreciated and sees and encourages the natural beauty within you. He never takes your love for granted. He loves you more than his own life and would give his own to protect and save you if needs be. He would fight for you and honor your heart that beats for you. He would see you as perfect even on bad days or days you just are a mess or hostile. He would always be able to protect you from anything coming at you.He would always be available for long walks or cries or fun getaways and always provide exactly what you need when you need it, even anticipating these things. 

So, does such a perfect man exist?? Of course, but I just described Jesus Christ, a Godman. He is who we need to rely on for what we need. He is the only perfect man. If you are expecting all these things from anyone else in the world, you will be let down at best and crushed at worst. But if you draw near to Jesus and your man does too, maybe that will  work. Just my thoughts… 

The Greatness of a Godly Man

A man who can truly love his wife is a great man. One who works and pays the bills is an even greater man. But the man who seeks the Lord and loves Him first and foremost is the greatest and wisest of men. Everything else in his world will be easier and work better with greater peace and joy and happiness when the relationship with God is fostered.

What to Look For in a Husband

This excerpt from the thoughts in my head is in answer to a question posed to me by one of my single friends. I am answering everyone because it is the most important question you ask… what should I look for in a potential husband? And I will be blunt and candid, as I usually am. Now, the qualities of the potential husband are vital but emotional self-control while answering them objectively is absolutely essential or you’ll make up great answers on a good day and want to run away crying on a bad one. If you can not remove your emotions enough to answer objectively, now hear me, wait to answer them until you can. If you rush into these things emotionally driven or too quickly, most of the time you will declare that you made a mistake. And who you marry isn’t just to be within God’s will to have sexual intimacy now, the guy will be the leader of your family until you or he dies. So, if you complicate the relationship with sex too soon, the decision becomes impossibly hard to make objectively. We as women are connected to whoever we allow into our bodies, regardless what other lies are out there. It matters. Guys don’t always feel it like that because it is a more external thing for them so if they are not covenantly committed to you and don’t have that mandate to love you and honor you forever, they probably won’t. All that aside, let’s get to the meat. You want a man that is reliable, who is where he says when he says to the best of his ability. Of course, he must love the Lord and study his Bible and have a prayer life, which shows his quality of character and purpose and honor. A man who doesn’t have time for the Lord is either too proud or an idiot and you do not ever want to marry a man full of pride or an idiot. I say idiot because fool may seem too harsh to some. Moron is a good alternative. Why? A guy trying to live this life with his own strength doesn’t have a clue as to either the fleetingness of life or the enormous hurdles it will throw at you in life. No one without a personal relationship with God through Jesus will survive death. He who does not know this is either very short sighted (which you don’t want) or a fool, I’m sorry, I mean an idiot or very proud, and that is no goof either. Next criteria is that he has to be nice, kind, compassionate and courteous. I don’t mean he needs to be a girly man who cries and all that garbage, but he needs to see with Jesus’ eyes the needs of those around him and do what he can to help. Why? Integrity. You want an integral man. Next up is financially responsible. I do not mean rich. I mean that he tithes and can pay all the bills. If he can’t take care of his finances alone, how on earth will he ever be able to take care of a family? Kids are expensive, and if you haven’t thought of a future with kids, you might not be ready to marry yet. Next, and this is huge, does he behave the same in private as he does in public? Is he the same when no one is looking? Do his words match his actions and visa versa? You have to decide this through careful examination and prayer and listening to the Holy Spirit. You must know this answer before you say “I do”. It is easy to be fooled, especially when the person is fooling himself or really good at being good to get what he wants. I don’t mean to be creepy but the reality of life and my own experiences dictate I add this. We Christians often think the best of people and tend to excuse or laugh off little indiscretions and with such a huge decision, we should not. If it’s a small problem now, it will be a big one later. Next, he must be someone you respect. If he is unworthy of your respect, it will be very difficult for you to fulfill the most important obligation you would have as a wife. These are the most important things I can think of. The big thing is to pray, read your Bible every day and listen to the Holy Spirit, who will guide you. If there is anything that makes you doubt, ask God if that is your own fear or the Holy Spirit’s warning. I hope this answers your question and reveals to you the levity of this decision. It is huge and must be thoroughly analyzed and not just felt. Feelings can lie to you so be careful. God will lead you the right way. If it is too messy or stressful, probably isn’t right for you. And if you are no okay being single, you won’t be okay being married. Get your self in order with God first and you will have a happier forever after. 🙂