My husband and I are working on original instrumental music! I have written hundreds of songs but very few instrumentals and this is so freaking cool. Love it. God knew what He was doing when He had me marry a musician. This is so good! What a gift! Just wanted to shout out and give God props for His insight. He does know best, friends. ❤
I was able to be a supportive wife with my kids today at my husband’s gig at Old Town. Yet somehow my special kind of talent again allowed me to help set up and tear down as well as do the sound check as the lead female vocalist and pianist were late. So I worked during the gig and supported my husband and the band he was helping out. I always manage to be helping or filling in or something. I arrive and end up being a teacher or roadie or sound checker or boss or janitir, whatever the need is. That seems to be my talent. I guess that is either competent or a humble servant’s heart or just naive. In any case, God knows full well I work for Him and no one else. Those I help I see as helping Him. Someone asks me to help, I assume God just asked me to help. That is how I was brought up and how I am. And I guess my stubbornness and faith kick in and I do it whether or not I ever have, and God always blesses my efforts for Him. For instance, the band appreciated what I did and asked me to sing lead for them in another gig. So… cool. And God always blesses my support of my husband (even if he was really mean that day). It is funny. When I drop my pride and be supportive and do what I know I should do, God blesses and the I am treated better. Most of the time. But even if not, I am not working for a person, I work for God, you see. So this night was very fun and they were great and I am rewarded and happy and exhausted. Going to bed now. Sweet dreams, friend. ❤
I don’t fawn over my husband because that is not his thing not because he is not a wonderful husband and very good man. I respect him and love him dearly because for the past seven years we have been married and even before that when we were dating, he has always opened the door for me, has always taken care of me, been a great Father to my son from a previous marriage and our daughter, played with me in bands through many musician band family members who have come and gone, providing a common hobby and deep musical history. We have walked through fire together, through distractions and horrible accusations by a demonic figure of a person, through an ex no paying child support for 3 1/2 years and finally court. Sounds like a lot of drama, but that was spread over 7 years and we are fairly peaceful lately with busy but quiet lives since he retired. And no marriage is all roses but ours is steady and respectful and my husband is a great conversationalist, loves God, loves me, shares my love of travel and is a great thinker and teacher. So here is to my wonderful husband. I love you, honey. Thank you so much for all you do and sharing your life with me! What a ride!
Today was amazingly beautiful in every way. A day or two ago, I was feeling very low. For me to say so is significant. I am pretty steady state and am not often deeply rattled by things. But alas, the enemy has been my enemy for some time and seems to know very well what can affect me. And I should not fall for it but sometimes still do. Praise God for forgiving me so much! However, today was definitely a big fat diamond vacation from Heaven. I feel refreshed in my heart and was reminded why God put my husband and I together. We completed a project together. We put up pole lights around our front patio. This doesn’t sound like a big project, but I assure you if you do it right and lasting, it is. And I was able to appreciate and respect my husband and how he plans well, invents well, organizes and prepares well, instructs well and appreciates my efforts to help him. I felt so blessed to work all day today with such a man and feel so proud that he is my husband. I felt like our marriage was refreshed because God touched my perspective. Perspective is the key to life. The same good and bad punches come to every person, but what makes the great stand out from the masses is what they choose to focus on and do about it, no matter what. And the absolute best I can hope for everyone is a beautiful day like this with the person God designed for you. Then when the day comes, which is rare and amazing, appreciate it because it is a reward and blessing from God. There is no other explanation. I feel like,though I love my husband and will until I die, I re-fell in love with him today. It is a truly marvelous adventure, this life thing, this marriage thing. It can feel like it is ripping your heart out some days and other days like it is everything good and alive about life. And I am celebrating this day and wish you a day like it.
I realized something today, something very personal. I have had a screwed up focus sometimes toward the man I love most in the world, my husband. I do not know where I started down the wrong path or maybe it was a slow gradual incline in effort. But I am thinking it was simply not putting enough effort into being purposeful in my encouragement quotient. See, we all decide what to focus on in life. That focus dictates everything we do, like a mission statement. I had loving but critical parents, so when I am not working hard at it, I tend to lazy down into critical mode. My poor husband. I must have been very difficult to live with. So, I have rewritten my personal mission statement, which I highly recommend everyone on the planet do. I intend to be purposefully encouraging and helpful to my husband and build him up. I intend to celebrate my life with him and focus on the positive. I intend to treasure my moments with him. There is purpose behind God putting people together in marriage and I honor and worship God by honoring and respecting my husband. A life of honor and worship is a life worth living.
This excerpt from the thoughts in my head is in answer to a question posed to me by one of my single friends. I am answering everyone because it is the most important question you ask… what should I look for in a potential husband? And I will be blunt and candid, as I usually am. Now, the qualities of the potential husband are vital but emotional self-control while answering them objectively is absolutely essential or you’ll make up great answers on a good day and want to run away crying on a bad one. If you can not remove your emotions enough to answer objectively, now hear me, wait to answer them until you can. If you rush into these things emotionally driven or too quickly, most of the time you will declare that you made a mistake. And who you marry isn’t just to be within God’s will to have sexual intimacy now, the guy will be the leader of your family until you or he dies. So, if you complicate the relationship with sex too soon, the decision becomes impossibly hard to make objectively. We as women are connected to whoever we allow into our bodies, regardless what other lies are out there. It matters. Guys don’t always feel it like that because it is a more external thing for them so if they are not covenantly committed to you and don’t have that mandate to love you and honor you forever, they probably won’t. All that aside, let’s get to the meat. You want a man that is reliable, who is where he says when he says to the best of his ability. Of course, he must love the Lord and study his Bible and have a prayer life, which shows his quality of character and purpose and honor. A man who doesn’t have time for the Lord is either too proud or an idiot and you do not ever want to marry a man full of pride or an idiot. I say idiot because fool may seem too harsh to some. Moron is a good alternative. Why? A guy trying to live this life with his own strength doesn’t have a clue as to either the fleetingness of life or the enormous hurdles it will throw at you in life. No one without a personal relationship with God through Jesus will survive death. He who does not know this is either very short sighted (which you don’t want) or a fool, I’m sorry, I mean an idiot or very proud, and that is no goof either. Next criteria is that he has to be nice, kind, compassionate and courteous. I don’t mean he needs to be a girly man who cries and all that garbage, but he needs to see with Jesus’ eyes the needs of those around him and do what he can to help. Why? Integrity. You want an integral man. Next up is financially responsible. I do not mean rich. I mean that he tithes and can pay all the bills. If he can’t take care of his finances alone, how on earth will he ever be able to take care of a family? Kids are expensive, and if you haven’t thought of a future with kids, you might not be ready to marry yet. Next, and this is huge, does he behave the same in private as he does in public? Is he the same when no one is looking? Do his words match his actions and visa versa? You have to decide this through careful examination and prayer and listening to the Holy Spirit. You must know this answer before you say “I do”. It is easy to be fooled, especially when the person is fooling himself or really good at being good to get what he wants. I don’t mean to be creepy but the reality of life and my own experiences dictate I add this. We Christians often think the best of people and tend to excuse or laugh off little indiscretions and with such a huge decision, we should not. If it’s a small problem now, it will be a big one later. Next, he must be someone you respect. If he is unworthy of your respect, it will be very difficult for you to fulfill the most important obligation you would have as a wife. These are the most important things I can think of. The big thing is to pray, read your Bible every day and listen to the Holy Spirit, who will guide you. If there is anything that makes you doubt, ask God if that is your own fear or the Holy Spirit’s warning. I hope this answers your question and reveals to you the levity of this decision. It is huge and must be thoroughly analyzed and not just felt. Feelings can lie to you so be careful. God will lead you the right way. If it is too messy or stressful, probably isn’t right for you. And if you are no okay being single, you won’t be okay being married. Get your self in order with God first and you will have a happier forever after. 🙂
There are many reasons I married my husband and many more than that keep me married to him. One is the commitment we made to each other. There is this clause “through sickness and in health,forsaking all others, even as we both shall live”. We are one entity, united by God and together forever. That is only one reason, and while it is enough, I wanted to explore further why even without that I would still be married to this man. My husband is thoughtful. I mean by this that he thinks about what I may need. I had been on my own for so long and made my own money that I still am hesitant to ask for things, but he offers me what I need when I need it and thinks of these things and provides. So he is an excellent provider through his thoughtfulness as well as his career. Secondly, he loves and trains the children alongside me. As a mom, you cannot imagine how wonderful it is to be supported and helped in raising children by your stronger self, your spouse. It makes the daunting task much less daunting and shows all of us love. A third reason is that my wonderful husband wants me around. This is a beautiful thing!! It is always nice to be wanted and loved after four and a half years of marriage, growing in fellowship and respect for one another’s presence. What a gift! Fourthly, he speaks my love language. I recommend the book The Five Love Languages if you haven’t read it yet. My husband is willing and does regularly show me love how I feel most loved, which for me is quality time, and I am happy and eager to show him love the way he needs it, through acts of service. And lastly for now, because you have to end somewhere, my husband encourages me in the Lord and in our prayer life. He does not neglect the spiritual matters of the heart so we have a depth in our relationship which few can boast. There is immense power in being both physically united and spiritually united in Christ. We read and discuss Scriptures and pray together, and that is beautiful. So, this amazing man I am happily married to has some down sides, but we all do (I have more than my share), but I believe where one of the partnership is weak the other is strong and in so doing we are stronger together and more useful than we ever were apart. That is what is supposed to happen, so thank you, God!! He is so good! And thank you ,Steve, for loving me so well!!