As tears flow generously down the afore stained cheek, he mourns.
For loss of complete family and years of criticism, he breaks.
For neglect and demands and no free space, he wishes more.
While seeking meaning and purpose, he is scoffed.
In deep hormonal imbalance of teen season, he is insecure.
For him, I write love. I write courage. I write understanding. I write meaning. I write purpose. I write eternal security. I write truth. I am his Bible.❤
A common theme of mine because of its importance and truth and value for balance promotion personally is perspective. I lose it. I forget. Lately these perimenopausal hormones have me wondering about some of God’s decisions. Not His supremacy or superiority, don’t get nervous, but His decision to make a strong 41 year suddenly insane for a minute. Couldn’t crazy just wait until I’m too feeble to hold a gun for heaven’s sake. Lol All joking aside, I am suddenly with these crazy roller of a coaster of emotions I am rather famous for not having so many of, I have to force this big girl to shut up and listen to some wise counsel. That is this. Think. Breathe. Observe. You will find that a tall glass of truthful perspective will save you worlds of trouble. When your body is calling you to act like a person much younger than yourself, remember that all the experiences that got you here were planned and timed so you would know better right now. Lol There is absolutely nothing that happens in life that will keep you from breathing but God. Over reacting is hasty and foolish and a bad use of energy spent cleaning up messes. When you are in the batter’s box, your swing matters. When you are next at bat, no one gives a rat’s patooty about your swing. It simply doesn’t count for beans until it is your turn up at bat. Until that moment, you might as well get comfortable on clean up duty or fetching waters. That is truthful perspective. It is hard. It is very hard to hear some truths. But reality is very sobering sometimes when hormones got you acting drunk. Reality is what I need sometimes. Perspective and truth I always need, especially lately. I used to search through continents, through states, through busy crows when I was younger for someone just like me. Someone that got me, that understood, someone that could keep up with the crazy overflowing never ending workings and travels of my mind. Someone with all the same flaws that would not judge me or criticize me for every little thing, let me be myself. I realized that not one of us have that because God loves variety and is a very skilled designer. He makes no two snowflakes alike, no two fingerprints alike, no two people alike. But He Himself loves each of us, doesn’t judge us though He is qualified, loves us, gets us, so we can be ourselves. Wow. Someone, some precious soul mate, some perfect friend may be brought into your life and that is precious and rare. But even more precious and rare is the timing that must be perfect for that meeting to ever flower into a union. God knows what He is doing, though. There are no accidents and sometimes we just have to shut up, breathe, observe, and learn what you are on deck to learn. While you wash the dugout, you watch the ball. You study, you enjoy the game, you practice and train to be ready should you ever have a turn at bat. Then if that day ever comes, you are so ready for it. It is glorious. If you yell and carry on from the side lines, badmouth the ref, sleep, whine about having g to wait so long, you won’t be ready. And if that turn ever comes, you may be whining too much to hear the call. So, Me, who I am talking to here (I am sure y’all got this already but I am ever the slow learner), shape up and cut that noise. You have work to do. That is truthful perspective.
I tell you, the more I live life and study it, the more I am convinced that people are human. There is certainly an ethereal beauty to our persons, a sort of exquisite essence about each of us, each unique but each and every one quite adept at having our pride rise within us at the least imposition and comment. We each have the most beautiful of potential and courage but are severely human in form. We may have spirits that soar at times, but your body has sincere limitations. We may have epic generosity but are limited with what we have to give away. My conclusion is that we are not of “good” character and can not be while in our human form. Severe statement? Let’s explore it. God is good. “Good” is His character, His makeup. “Good” is consistency of character (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control) and generosity of help despite any environmental occurrences. “Good” is helping and treating someone well no matter what. It is consistency of treatment of other people. We are told that by Jesus Himself in the Bible. He even said that He was not good, and I am thinking I may understand now why. In bodily form, we are so rely limited. We can not do everything we want to. God can because He is not limited by anything. In human form also, we sin and usually the culprit is pride. Goodness is being loving despite the person on the other end of it deserving it. So, when we are wronged or harmed in any way, our pride rears up its ugly head and we respond somehow. Even the greatest of said ts had moments of severe conflict. No one but God is able to control themselves enough to be unmoved entirely by outside forces of evil directed against us. Goodness is also providing wherever there is a need and where God owns everything because He made it, we only own what He entrusts to our care. We can ask Him for more, but we may or may not be deemed worthy of more trust. So, we cannot provide what everyone in our path needs. Indeed, it often feels like we need a little more to make it. We also as humans have a hormonal and thus emotional element that limits our goodness at times. Someone reacting to hormones plus life situations rarely convey goodness as the first response. It may or may not happen down the line. So, understanding we can never truly be good, though we can have moments of goodness or even greatness of character, we must wonder why try to be good. (And here I must say that we can be very good when we allow the Holy Spirit to run our lives and bodies in humble contrition all the time. This fruit of the Spirit will get stronger within us as we practice but perfection will never occur in human form.) When we try to be good, treat people undiscriminately and well within the best of our ability, we do much more good than harm. Just because you are not perfect at something doesn’t mean you should give up. When you were a baby, you couldn’t walk but with growth and practice and help, you got better and better at it. And goodness is not what saves us. Now this is important. If goodness were what is needed to be saved and head to heaven someday to be with our Creator, it would be impossible for us because of the above humanity arguments. No, Jesus Christ needed to and did come down to pay the sacrifice for our sins so we would be saved. Trying to be good is not to earn salvation. Salvation only comes through accepting Jesus as our Savior. We try to be good to present our witness to the world that we are saved and thankful to be. We do our best because we have been beautifully saved and loved and we want to share that with others. We are filled with love so we try to show love. And God expects it s to do our best with what we have. If we do that, He is pleased and that is our goal.
Women each have their own experiences, their own timeline, their own battles and struggles, their own way to joy and peace. We all develop and change independent of each other. We all fall in love and marry and carry children and rear them differently, in our own time and ways. We are very different because of these things, and despite how close we are to other women and even with similar large life experiences, we are all on a separate journey. And everyone seems to have a different attitude and perspective on that journey as well. This is a beautiful thing, these differences. We all have beauty of our own based on our outlook and perspective of these events. All have good and bad thrown at them along life every day and each has a different way of seeing and responding to them. Some focus on each one and get stuck while some glide through it all, some worry about every detail and other focus on God’s role in the circumstances. Some are angry often while some seem to never be so. It is quite fascinating and lovely when you have an insight into many individuals. Men have these differences as well, but most men do not have the scope of life changes and accompanying hormone attacks. Women’s hormone change dramatically with the onset of her periods, during each period at some point, during any life stresses, during and after child carrying and childbirth and during the change to stop the periods. It is a old, whacky ride. Despite all the hurdles of life, we also have to moderate these crazy hormones. This either makes us the weakest sex or the strongest, depending on our success rate with juggling, seemingly. Regardless, the changes of our life and our respective reactions and decisions shape our individual character and life story. Each story is individualized and beautiful in its entirety and you need never be ashamed of it. Even if horrible choice have darkened your heart and would, God’s light can easily penetrate that dark spot and bring light from it, as easily as a hot knife through butter. I love to see people’s stories and you should be proud of yours. And if you are not particularly proud of it at this exact moment, be encouraged that this moment is almost over and we have another next and another, and one good decision is all it takes to change the outlook of the next moment. And a chain of these good decisions is all it takes to go from a beautiful life to a beautiful and meaningful and peaceful life. May God hold you along your journey!