Tennis & We

My son and I play tennis well. We both love playing, we talk while we play, it is great one on one time. Being 12 and having grown taller than I now, his blessed little hormones have started us all on a roller coaster ride of sorts, sometimes fun and sometimes very scary. Normally a good, steady boy, he now is mostly that but sometimes suspicious, contrary, volitile, interested, not interested, narcissistic, giving, sacrificial even, weepy, austere. It is intense because he is definitely my son and whereas my daughter inherited my fun living side, my son inherited my drive and ambition. Wowzers. BUT I have three tools in my pocket: 1. My fun loving side, 2. God and the knowledge that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and 3. Tennis. As long as I can play, we can still communicate and bond doing something. Oh, and I also have food. Never underestimate the power of food to a teenager. I know if he gets angry, I must feed him for he is just hormonal hangry. So thank you, God, for all your help and how uou made me and for tennis!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ 


Living With vs. Approving Of

Just because I tolerate a bad behavior does not mean I applaud it. Or does it? I have things I work on and so does he. If I let some things slide, am I admitting none of us are perfect and saying I love you anyway? Or am I condoning a sin that keeps him in bonage to it and thus being guilty of it as well? This moral dilemma, I believe, requires God’s wisdom and truth and God’s power and direction in order to know. Basically, I will do what I believe is best and listen all the while to the Holy Spirit to direct me to what God wants me to do. What else can any of us do? Only God knows how to save a person and only He can share what little we might be able to do to help. ❤


When spouse would rather undress a fantasy girl

And find satisfaction with the unreal airbrushed instead

A part of their relationship dies and lonely lies

And more and more of that trust is dead.

But one thing I remember when these thoughts arise

One simple thought helps me to survive

God can heal any deep inflicted pains

Not in man but my trust in God alone remains. ❤


Struggles Unseen

With struggles unseen by naked eye, 

that loom over the struggler, passed by, 

it leaves much doubt inside the head 

as to which one can hear and which one can lend 

a hand to help fight this struggle unseen, 

this plague of a madman inside my brain 

wreaking all sorts of havoc and wishing me bled. 

And of every person who does not even know 

the length and the depth of this struggle I know, 

this secretive life that I cannot reveal 

or I would hurt a loved one so real.

I realize this, there is only just One 

Who knows every secret that’s ever been done.

God knows my struggle, the darkness I know.

And He gives me peace only He can bestow.❤❤❤


Church at Home

Today, as the kids and I were getting in the car to go to church, our car battery was dead. By the time we scraped off the corrosion and recharged the battery, we would have been terribly late and maybe the car would have gotten us back home again and maybe not. So we had church at home. We spent time together, we watched a program enforcing lived out Christianity. We communed together and remembered what Jesus did for us and still does. We thought about things we could do around us. We sang together. Best church I’ve had in a while, truth be told. And I believe this was God’s idea. I believe He wants to grow us to greater compassion and need meeting in our area. I believe there are people around us who are forgotten and ignored, despite many many churches around us, and God made and loves each of them and wants them saved. We have so many churches around us. I wish we had more Christians. I decided we will start by obeying and being a help to those around us. Not with demands or expectations, just with love where they are because of Who made these beautiful but wounded (aren’t we all) people. And once we touch lives, I really hope there is a real Jesus church who welcomes people in and keep feeding their souls Jesus and not pharisee-like social or political bull. Who will join me in this compassion initiative? Show compassion to one person you see. See a person and their need and help. No motive but love. Join me.❤


Helping the Sad

Sad people do not want to be helped by the happy with their smiles and well wishes and pat answers and 2 second hugs and no problems. Sad people need to be sad for a bit. When they are ready they can only be comforted and helped by someone broken or who has been broken. This is why Jesus is the great Physician, because no one was more broken at one time than He and He recovered from it but bears the scars. Also, those of us who have been broken can help the sad, the broken, and the worse our brokenness was the better. God heals us, then we help heal others. It is beautiful restoration now from ugly brokenness then. God is the hope and the why and how and every answer to every problem. Praise God! ❤


Kid’s First Performance

So, as I am allowing someone else who wanted to play the piano in the church band, I was freed up with time. And never fitting in at all sitting in a congregation, I asked where there was a need. And I am in children’s ministry. So now I am a 2nd and 3rd grade Sunday School teacher and am starting up a children’s choir. This morning we sang one praise song just to get our feet wet in front of the congregation. It was fantastic. The kids did great and the people encouraged them a lot afterward. That is the best thing you can do for your children… lovingly encourage them doing well and I might add what most adults are afraid to do. So that was beautiful. And Wednesday we start choir practice for the Christmas musical. I am super excited. Kids are amazing, even now in the midst of difficulties we never had. It is such an honor to work with them and help lead and encourage them and get really good truth lyrics locked in their heads to help with bad times. How many times God reminded me of truth from a song from childhood. To allow another generation to have that same luxury and experience is fantastic. I am super excited God trusted me with that. He is so good! ❤