Contemplations

Why do we want more despite having so much?

Why do we revisit the past in our minds we thought we long let go of?

Why do we want to do one thing and then fight ourselves about it?

I believe the answer is not simple and is simple. The simple part is a lack of focus on God. The less than simple part is it is easier for us to be in the physical than the spiritual. We wrestle the physical world while wrestling the spiritual one. We are constantly doing this and it is not always easy if we are tired or run down or not spiritually fit or praying. Our selfish peaks through. We see grass as greener elsewhere and find out it is a swamp in reality and damage is done. We give in to the enemy constantly bombarding us with attacks. We battle, battle, battle all the past and the present while trying to focus on the future with God. It is complex and ambitious. In fact, for me it is overwhelming sometimes, but I am learning to keep in the Word and pray and humble myself before the Lord and tell Him about it and ask for help. And when I do that, He gives me what I need for that moment. He loves me, you see, and is big enough to help. So, I guess all the complexity is me trying to do it all on my own and the simplicity is that God really can do it all and will help when I humbly ask Him to. Praise God!❤

Advertisements

Tennis & We

My son and I play tennis well. We both love playing, we talk while we play, it is great one on one time. Being 12 and having grown taller than I now, his blessed little hormones have started us all on a roller coaster ride of sorts, sometimes fun and sometimes very scary. Normally a good, steady boy, he now is mostly that but sometimes suspicious, contrary, volitile, interested, not interested, narcissistic, giving, sacrificial even, weepy, austere. It is intense because he is definitely my son and whereas my daughter inherited my fun living side, my son inherited my drive and ambition. Wowzers. BUT I have three tools in my pocket: 1. My fun loving side, 2. God and the knowledge that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and 3. Tennis. As long as I can play, we can still communicate and bond doing something. Oh, and I also have food. Never underestimate the power of food to a teenager. I know if he gets angry, I must feed him for he is just hormonal hangry. So thank you, God, for all your help and how uou made me and for tennis!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ 

Living With vs. Approving Of

Just because I tolerate a bad behavior does not mean I applaud it. Or does it? I have things I work on and so does he. If I let some things slide, am I admitting none of us are perfect and saying I love you anyway? Or am I condoning a sin that keeps him in bonage to it and thus being guilty of it as well? This moral dilemma, I believe, requires God’s wisdom and truth and God’s power and direction in order to know. Basically, I will do what I believe is best and listen all the while to the Holy Spirit to direct me to what God wants me to do. What else can any of us do? Only God knows how to save a person and only He can share what little we might be able to do to help. ❤

Loneliness

When spouse would rather undress a fantasy girl

And find satisfaction with the unreal airbrushed instead

A part of their relationship dies and lonely lies

And more and more of that trust is dead.

But one thing I remember when these thoughts arise

One simple thought helps me to survive

God can heal any deep inflicted pains

Not in man but my trust in God alone remains. ❤

Struggles Unseen

With struggles unseen by naked eye, 

that loom over the struggler, passed by, 

it leaves much doubt inside the head 

as to which one can hear and which one can lend 

a hand to help fight this struggle unseen, 

this plague of a madman inside my brain 

wreaking all sorts of havoc and wishing me bled. 

And of every person who does not even know 

the length and the depth of this struggle I know, 

this secretive life that I cannot reveal 

or I would hurt a loved one so real.

I realize this, there is only just One 

Who knows every secret that’s ever been done.

God knows my struggle, the darkness I know.

And He gives me peace only He can bestow.❤❤❤

Church at Home

Today, as the kids and I were getting in the car to go to church, our car battery was dead. By the time we scraped off the corrosion and recharged the battery, we would have been terribly late and maybe the car would have gotten us back home again and maybe not. So we had church at home. We spent time together, we watched a program enforcing lived out Christianity. We communed together and remembered what Jesus did for us and still does. We thought about things we could do around us. We sang together. Best church I’ve had in a while, truth be told. And I believe this was God’s idea. I believe He wants to grow us to greater compassion and need meeting in our area. I believe there are people around us who are forgotten and ignored, despite many many churches around us, and God made and loves each of them and wants them saved. We have so many churches around us. I wish we had more Christians. I decided we will start by obeying and being a help to those around us. Not with demands or expectations, just with love where they are because of Who made these beautiful but wounded (aren’t we all) people. And once we touch lives, I really hope there is a real Jesus church who welcomes people in and keep feeding their souls Jesus and not pharisee-like social or political bull. Who will join me in this compassion initiative? Show compassion to one person you see. See a person and their need and help. No motive but love. Join me.❤

Helping the Sad

Sad people do not want to be helped by the happy with their smiles and well wishes and pat answers and 2 second hugs and no problems. Sad people need to be sad for a bit. When they are ready they can only be comforted and helped by someone broken or who has been broken. This is why Jesus is the great Physician, because no one was more broken at one time than He and He recovered from it but bears the scars. Also, those of us who have been broken can help the sad, the broken, and the worse our brokenness was the better. God heals us, then we help heal others. It is beautiful restoration now from ugly brokenness then. God is the hope and the why and how and every answer to every problem. Praise God! ❤