Self Treating

So I have been treating this basal cell skin cancer spot on my cheek for 2 weeks. I do not have health insurance so I went online to see what I could do myself. Now, some people believe that to be brilliant and some believe it to be foolish and you can see in their eyes which camp they are in. Lol I am not wiyhout knowledge- I am a doctor you know, which means I know science and medicine quite well and understand the principles. And this is sound. And I just wanted to report, for all those praying for me, that this treatment usually takes 5 weeks but for me so far, there is only one small dot left after 2 weeks and the rest is clear. The regimen is to continue once all clear for 2 more days and you are finished. So praise God, looks like I may be finished early, God is allowing it to work well for me. God is good!!😃❤️

(P.S. If you want me to explain the treatment, I can blog on it if there is interest.)

When Weeping Winds Blow By

The terrible triple death loss of my life, three very important deaths in a two month window, one of which was my daddy, happened two years ago. I was depressed and incapacitated the first year after. I know it was a natural part of grief but looking back, I was stuck for a while in deep selfishness and self-pity. It was contrary to my nature to be so. Or was it? Up to then, I have never really allowed myself to emote, except that brief window of loss and anger when my fiance cheated on me and broke up. That hit me hard but before and since, I have always been the rock for others and work, work, work. God has healed me enough to look back at two years ago objectively. And my husband’s brother’s recent passing brought the remembrance back.

I now realize I had left my Lord behind. I was self–involved, self-serving, and self-loathing. My children had a shell of a mother at that point and that is my deep pain I am making amends for now in reformulating my family and putting them first.

The biggest learning point from all that healed trauma and pain is that God’s place in me and my family is first. This means if it is not by the Bible, it is not home here. We operate as if Jesus is right here with us because He is. We worship Him together, talk often to and about Him, so on. Focusing on God has kept me humble, the most important and challenging thing to do always. Then focusing on my kids and husband and mom has reinforced my humble and service. I am dead last and that is exactly as it should be. That is my happy spot. Not because I think less of myself but because God made me such a valuable tool for His kingdom and I want Him to work through me to greatest affect. That only happens when I keep my humble up. Once pride wells up, strength drains. With humble, God fills in and my joy and peace are palpable. It is impressive and constant. I will not trade anything this world has to offer for this beautiful peace and joy God gives me. The healing is complete and sound. I am sorry my pride and will were so strong I had to go through so much to get it. I get it now, praise God. The more you release, the more He gives. Incredible God!😄❤❤❤

Today, God Healed Me

Today, God healed yet another aspect of me. God did not choose to heal all of me all at once. Frankly, in hindsight, I was not ready for that and my pride was not low enough for it either. My faith was high but will was low. I was healed in sections as I was able to maintain it. And God healed a good deal of the physical remnants of my illness tonight at church. Elders laid hands on me and prayed and I knew I was healed and felt the change inside me. And I could not have had that happen without everything that came before it.

The lesson is this, friend. God is the Great Physician and coordinates every inch of your life for the purpose of accomplishing His will for you and those close to you. Do not miss it. Sometimes His healing is all at once and sometimes, as with me, it was in pieces I was ready for and could handle. I fancied myself tough and everyone who knows me would agree and I still know I am made for toughness. However, I am a twig’s plaything without God. I have no strength but what He graces me with. I have no ability to know what I can handle yet or not or when, I am just not that smart, even with all the initials after my name, just is impossible for anyone to know those things but God. Praise God!❤❤❤

“Christianity is a Crutch”

I have heard that most of my life. Today, while fasting, God popped this phrase into my thinking and showed me the root of it. See, the phrase “Christianity is a Crutch” reveals the prideful heart of the speaker. It shows their lack of wisdom in choosing prideful sickness of spirit over humble acceptance of help for same sickness of spirit. For the propensity to sin is a sickness if spirit inherited in all of us. Jesus is the cure. Call Him a Crutch if you want but I prefer Great Healer. For there is no doubt within me that I need help and that Jesus Christ is the Healer and cure. And wisdom and maturity tells me that humbly, you accept and take the medicine for healing of the spirit. But God always takes it further and not only heals but loves and draws to Himself. And that is the most beautiful, beneficial relationship of my life. ❤