Tired Sometimes

I have a flaw. Several really. Ok, a lot of flaws. I am too honest and open. The problem is I see that as a good thing but most other people see it as horrible. Truth is, most people hate the truth now because it makes them feel guilty or exposes lies they would much rather believe or their feelings get hurt because so many they have packed around them because they coddled and encouraged them no matter how they acted. No, truth is tough for people to want around them these days. Another flaw is that I know people have flaws too around tend I am very well versed in my own but some I tire of, like unfaithfulness or disloyalty or addictions that come between couples or lies. I have a really hard time coping with these breaches in trust and it is hard for me to take and act like it doesn’t hurt me so much like it does. It is hard, for example, to feel like other naked women are just peachy for your partner or spouse to gawk and get off on on act consistent basis. Like that is good for the relationship. Like everyone should be happy about that. But I have flaws too. So am I expecting perfection when I am not able to deliver perfection and there is the rub. I question myself. Am I judgmental or fair? So, here is my answer. When I don’t know which way is morally right, I should see what the Author of morals says about it in His Book. Is it okay to get off on naked women other than your spouse? Nope. There are a lot of verses on fornication and adultery and not coveting someone else’s wife and stuff. So it is right to be upset about that. Also in there, is it right to judge someone else guilty of sins against you? Nope. Many verses also talk adultery bout not judging and not forgiving. So both are wrong. So, looking at it a different way, what do I do when wronged without becoming wrong myself? The answer is there to forgive and pray. God pays back wrongs and will forgive us the same way we forgive. That is it. It is a practice of letting go. Not trying to control someone else or how little they choose to love you back or understanding their coping mechanism is hurtful to you but makes them feel better for about what fifteen seconds. Obviously I need more work, but it is a start to know that I am flawed and so is everyone else and God is not at all. So when we feel flawed upon or when we have flawed upon someone else, God absolutely needs to be involved. God, I asndollm so sorry for any judgment I have passed onto anyone in my life. Please take this flaw and burden weighing heavily on me and help me be the best person I can be and help this person You and I love in what way they need. Please help me say the right thing at the right time or be quiet when needed and give me comfort and peace and joy. Thank You, mighty, loving and Holy God. And there it is. God bless us all! 

Single Seeking Someone, Anyone

Ours is a flawed social culture. It appears outwardly bankrupt and operates upside down from ways of old. We push sex down everyone’s throat, starting from children’s ages on up. Scantilly dressed, porn pushed, easily accessible, virtual girls, airbrushed barely legal girls flaunting everything for whoever wants to look or pay, live chat girls with no decency or modesty, plastic starving Hollywood actresses, and barely dressed models acting all sexy for everything from deodorant and perfume to insurance and candy bars and depends. No imagination at all in marketing, just use the easy go-to that sex sells. And then common girls, we gorgeous but not airbrushed with curves and cellulite (gasp) and who actually eat may happen to be single. I am married, but ma y of my friends are not and I write this for them. And these amazing women, who inadvertantly have watched Hollywood’s version of what romance and relationships ships are “supposed to” look like a little too much, wonder why they can’t meet Mr. Right and why when she does meet him he isn’t so romantic or isn’t for long because he splits as soon as another higher hemmed and more willing skirt walks by. It is because our society, including their views on other people, have a disposable and next best thing mentality that really really sucks. Really sucks. They want everything now and fast and free and new and exciting and better and porn, I’m exists fixes. As soon as something more enticing comes along, drop Mrs. Nice girl and go for the momentary thrill. Girls do it too, I am afraid. It all sucks. Wanting to be with someone, anyone has become vital to some kind of twisted self esteem or feeling accepted like a high school popularity contest. People compromise their morals just to not be alone. And here is the answer. Ready? You are never alone. God walks with you, loves you, longs to be closer to you. And you are His beautiful child, His love. The One who made you knows how incredible you are and He is never wrong. When you walk with Him, you are so much better off than with some stupid thrill seeker entitled narcissistic waste of time who won’t even stick around long enough for the flowers to fade. And when you walk with God, He provides what you need. And if your heart’s desire is to be married, He will send someone great and real to you that is worth waiting for. It will be the right timing for the right reasons. My thoughts…

Complete With Flaws

It is easy to be impressed with 30 seconds worth of super sexy momma on a commercial or an hour and a half worth of movie with photo shopped flawless super model mommas who do everything perfectly. It can easily make you wonder at your messy house and imperfect children and zits on your face and lumps on your tummy or extra beef in the behind and question your validity as a human who eats and isn’t perfect and isn’t sexy every minute of the day. The 5 second snippets of chatter before a church tea exposes perfect people with perfect children and I wonder why I have judgmental glances when my monkey like children attend, wondering where their perfect children always go while I have mine 24\7. And it dawned on me, or rather came to me in a revelation of sorts, that I am at peace and have joy and am perfectly complete with my flaws and all. My monkey children are happy and good, though with more available energy to use from not stressing them out with social dilemmas all day at school. And my husband seems happy with my cooking and content with my level of sexy. And my relationship with God has never been stronger and that fills me with such contentment that I can even see past facades to see the rest of the set. I see the background scenes and feel empathy for those really struggling with building it all together, despite not being able to eat or show emotions or flaws. I am free to be the momma God made me to be, the wife my husband needs and wants, the daughter my parents depend on now, the dog walker and house cleaner and doctor and chef and taxi service and grocery shopper and pianist and whatever else I need to be that day. I can do all these things through Christ’s strength. I know because I do it all the time. I am not perfect. I have a lot of flaw. However, through my flaws, God shines and complete the work I obediently strive to do. I work for the Lord and He blesses me every time. I am complete with flaws and that is a wonderful place to be.

Forensic Flaws

Things are easiest to study when they are in the past. “Hindsight is 20/20”, so they say (whoever “they” are). And I am here wondering why we work so hard with figuring out who is to blame for what and why things happened the way they did. Why or who we can we blame for the occurrence is so much of a priority to determine than where we go from here and what we can do to prevent further occurrences. We seem to view our flaws and sins forensically, parsing and scrubbing and cataloging each one and determining who did what and why it happened, trying to explain and reason sin out. One elephant in the room with this forensic analysis of sin/flaws/mistakes is that- now hear me big- it does not make any sense at all. We work at trying to reason away sins and why we reacted how we did when and where, and blame this and that for these and those and it is all nonsense. Sin doesn’t make sense as we know sense. We can’t reason away sin because it holds no reason as we know reason. How can this be? Because we think humanly and sin is spiritual. It is an intangible phenomenon that we are trying to put in human form. Grasp if you will the concept of smoke from a roaring fire of partially wet wood spreading rapidly toward your house in all directions. The smoke gets everywhere it possibly can working to take in oxygen and stay alive to burn everything it can, to destroy. Sin is like that fire and smoke. Our flaws are sin and fire and smoke producers and if left unchecked will destroy everything in its path. We must harness our flaws and realize them so we can build up our defenses against them with prayer and Bible reading. There is no reason to fear it but until you admit the fire is there, you are lost already. When pride says there is no fire and it’s not your fault, destruction still happens anyway, only to a much greater degree because denial keeps you from defending your house and soul. Without defense, a fire will burn out of control. Amazingly, the great Fireman has allowed us to call him anytime night or day to put out the fire in our house and defend us from damage. He is amazing and skilled and has a vested interest because He is our Father in Heaven. So, we need to think of our flaws not as a focus and distraction of forensic study, guilt laden or rich with denial, but proactively as a realistic need for God to come and help us restructure to defend our house and those around us. The blame, according to contrition, must always be on us for what we could do but failed to do to prevent the flaw from becoming destructive sin. It you want to keep your soul from destruction, the key is to admit the flaws/sins/mistakes on your part and ask the Lord to intervene on your behalf and save/defend your soul. He always answers that prayer. The flawless One loves to remove our flaws. He does sometimes do it overnight, but sometimes reconstruction takes a bit longer so we can handle it. Either way, He always does what is best for us when we ask Him to.