The Ins and Outs of Ups and Downs

I am even keel. However, I have friends through the loop riding massive roller coasters emotionally in their lives, up down, in out, life is a wild ride for them. While amusing to watch, I cannot imagine that to be fun. Not really. And I started to wonder how is it some of us take things as they come, a very island, reggae kind of life, gnarly dude, and some are crazy all over the place like a high strung competitive New Yorker on the beaches of Hawaii trying to relax: “Ok, I’ll relax and get some sun. Now forget relaxing, I am wasting the day and don’t want to burn! Let’s get to a store. Let’s rent a scooter. They are all rented, we were too late!!!!!! Let’s just watch the sunset…. ….. Why does it take so long?” Like I said, amusing to watch but terrible to live. And some people seem to live there on purpose or at least not know there is an alternative option. So I wondered why I go with the flow and am flexible. And it might be that in spiritual gifts, my faith runs very very high and my fear runs very very low. In addition, my humble has developed and expanded greatly and I absolutely love surprises and hate (as of my last great life lesson) the perception of being in control. Only God is truly in control of anything except our own free will and accompanying words accord actions. That is all we have control over and that can be removed from us with one accident or someone else’s poorly chosen free will. So there it is. I roll with the punches because I have a close relationship with God, faith, humility, no ambition for control and love surprises. Everyone’s story must be different, but this one is mine. Oh, and I love people too. That helps too. Hope that helps someone relax a bit. Lol ☺ Love you!

The Highs and Lows of Human Nature

I am quite sure what one of the miraculous things about the interesting people of this world is that they rarely are able to be consistently constant in their emotional balance. Only boring people, those lacking in imagination and vision are our solid rock steady emotionally balanced souls, and I think even they are wearing that as a facade. We are hormonal, up and down emotionally people and the greater our big picture ability or imagination ot interactions with people or outwardness, the more obvious this is and harder it is to wear a calm mask or facade. It is just a part of it. And those expecting such unchanging, unemotional, rather boringness, are wanting us to pretend more as they do. It is not how we are cut. Now that doesn’t mean we can allow ourselves to be spiking highs and lows within the seam minute as a toddler can, for that is completely lacking self-control and looks positively wacky, but our self-control is acceptable to be tempered with some highs and lows. We must express and work out and share these emotions for they exist for a reason and not doing so will cause them to grow disproportionate to the situation and be harder to control later. But we have them and should not pretend not to. I am on and low and yesterday was on and high, and I know that is part of the grieving process, but I also recognize it and realize it is time for me to write, play the piano, express it, share it, exercise and not let it run wild within me. God bless!

The Emotion Motion

I have some precious, beautiful friends who make decisions consistently based on their emotions. What they feel like doing, they do. Generally, they are sensitive, dear souls who wear their hearts on their sleeves and are very intune with the feel of a situation and their own intuition. And that works beautifully sometimes. Other times, they are deceived and respond to the feeling a manipulator presented beautifully or painted smoke and mirrors words. In those cases, acting on emotions is problematic. I can feel like doing something despite if it hurts someone else or not. I can be deceived and make the wrong choice. Intuition is sometimes wrong. And people are more and more selfish and narcissistic in the world so conmen are aplenty. So to not make a wrong decision, perhaps it is a good idea to feel the situation out first and then weigh it against truth- pros and cons lists, Bible study and mentor’s advice- before making a major decision. Emotions stir the passions of the heart and they are as strong as they can be unstable. Our hormones are simply untrustworthy sometimes and we must have a plan prepared so we are not caught in a bad decision. Taming the emotional roller coaster is important in protecting oursleves and those we are responsible for, as well as pleasing God. And having a planned course of action to follow is a great step in the right direction before making a decision. Just a thought. 🙂

An Apology I Owe

I am not proud. I am humble. More so than I ever thought possible. So I need to apologize to my reader for showing that negative side of the coin. I am told that is normal when grieving, especially when compounded with menopause, but I hold myself to a different standard than normal. I am not normal. I am happily weird. So, in my weirdness and humbleness, I am apologizing for giving in to a sort of hopeless anger for a minute and I realize a lot of times I play more emotion than sense lately. And further, I realize that God causes all things to happen for a reason. And when bad human choices are made against His wishes, He having given us free will and all, He does still cause the very best results to happen for us, His children when we ask humbly. So I pause right now and ask forgiveness for being to harsh on a good friend who happened to make what seems to me to be a very bad choice to many many people’s detriment. That is just what I felt at the moment and in no way does that reflect judgment as only God judges a person’s heart and I myself are flawed majorly. So I am sorry for dwelling in my momentary anger and not in God’s designs for fixing it all for the best of everyone. God can do anything. He is in charge. He knows what is best and He will do it and I will humbly ask again. God is so good. I am so not. So I defer to Him. Forgive me. Praise Him!

Mood Misery

I have noticed that the mood I am currently in, my attitude, my emotional flavor, dictates my level of happiness and tolerance. Joy and peace are underlying from God but my sadness level or happiness quotient are determined by my perception. For instance, it rained all hard yesterday. I got grumpy and sad and miserable because my attitude was one of sadness and loss upon the untimely death of a treasured friend. I roasted in the loss, the sadness, the anger of missing, etc. My resulting happiness was not great enough to even make my goldfish smile. I was a wreck. Today, if it rained hard, I would be so grateful because I am tired from stewing and brewing yesterday and sleep better when it rains. And on days where my mood is up, RAI is most welcome because we can play in it or have hot chocolate and play games and snuggle up to a movie. It is my perception that changes the reality of the unchanging rain. Which reminds me that whenever possible, I need to let my head rule the moment and order my emotions to mind me. Sometimes you need to feel what you are feeling but I would be a fool to let them dictate every decision I make and rule every day. I am old and roller coasters both bore me and make me nautious. I am not willing to ride one every darn day.