72 Countries Searching

Friends from 72 Countries this month have found and read my blog somehow. That tells me people are searching for truth, hope and Jesus, for that is about all I talk about. And I find this to be very unifying and beautiful. I have never seen color or status on people (I am from a merger of missionary and farm families). I have been dirt poor and quite wealthy and had peace in God in both instances, with a little more joy in poverty than wealth somehow. My mom lived in Africa the first 8 years of her life, so color is diversity and beautiful to me. I myself am not white but a peachish- tan. Lol. So, I do not talk about color or status or fleeting/meaningless outward beauty treatments and dress or most other things. I speak about God, Jesus’ salvation He offers as a free gift, the Bible truths in verse, the church family and spiritual matters on the journey we are on togethwr with God. These things matter eternally. They are lasting truth with hope and love and faith and passion of God’s love for us. I love writing and love poetry and love people. I want people saved, as many as possible. But more than anything, I love God, love Jesus, love the Holy Spirit and my relationship with Him is the most important thing in the world to me. I would trade any amount of money and jewels and land and whatever the Lord would require of me to maintain my relationship with Him. It is the most important thing in my universe. God is everything to me. It permeates how I think, my service to others, my family care and support, my relationships, my everything. So praise God for blessing me with any good thing He provides and for the lessons that come from the bad. And I thank God for every bit of it for He knows and sees what is best and beautiful, loves me and wants the best for me in the long run. Eternity with God is my goal. And I want heaven to be packed. I want to see you there. We are so blessed! Praise God!❤

Once Upon A Yesterday

I looked back for a minute. My yesterday’s were like a dream, sometimes a good one and sometimes a nightmare, but a dream it was. I have never had that ability some possess of living in their past, living yesterday’s as though they were todays. My very vivid imagination and very vivid visual mind and thinking are so busy with now that they very rarely function in real time with past memories. I remember them but I can count on one hand how many memories are vivid, most are dreamlike, like that weird fuzzy cloud surrounding them they used to use on sit coms of old. I have some friends who have the uncanny ability to be present in the past and that fascinates me. It seems their imagination and memory is just as vividly real in yesterdays, even many yesterday’s ago as it is today and they almost prefer to live there sometimes. It is amazing. Generally for me, out of sight is out of mind. Great for being fully present in any current situation but horrible for remembering to take medicine if someone put it in the cabinet. Lol. God made us all so different. Recent past of course linger for me but only carries on so long and then memories are dreamlike snippets of good or bad or indifferent clips that happened a long time ago. The depth of my soul hold the spirit, connects deeply with those I love and they are always with me but the specifics (which are always rather overlooked truth be told) fade out. And I have a friend who can remember specifics of an incident or conversation seventeen years ago at a certain time and date like it was yesterday. My jaw drops every time. Not only can I not remember most of the time, but I think I would go stark raving mad if I did, my mind is so busy all the time with current situations and loved ones’ problems and care. So here is the point. God makes people to have different areas of focus for different reasons and important duties in His kingdom. God expects us to help each other and work with the gifts we are given for Him and other people and our own sanity really. No one is any better than anyone else and we must accept these differences within each other and appreciate them because together we are fulfilling our innate drive and God’s plan for all of us. We are here to worship and serve God together not do a series of comparisons. We are each made perfectly by are perfect God for what He made us for. Let’s appreciate each other. 

A Day in the Life of a Visionary

When my day starts, I get up and thank God for the great day and walk the dog, thinking how amazing things look in the morning and how peaceful everything that God made is before everyone is up and about. I look at the sky, the clouds, the trees, focus is upwards. I will randomly look around and notices changes in the neighbor’s yard. Later when I mention it to my detail-oriented husband, he tells me that change I just noticed has been there for a week or more. It then amazes me both that he noticed it right away, that he noticed it and didn’t mention it to me and that I completely missed such an obvious thing. You see visionaries have a sincerely difficult time seeing the trees within the forest, whereas non visionaries often cannot see the forest through the trees. We visionaries are focused on the big picture and it requires great effort to attend to details or sometimes even to see them at all. Detail people amaze me because they notice everything and often keep these amazing discoveries under wraps. If I’d have noticed half that stuff, I would be so much in wonder at having been a part of so much daily life and living that I would tell everyone. I could never handle all that information. Those who can simply amaze me. I value people around me who can do easily what takes me a great deal of effort and concentration. Throughout the day I fumble and spill a lot (so have a lot is stained or torn clothes) because I’m focused on what has to happen in the next few hour, rest of the day and tomorrow for my goal to be attained. For example, I will forget that I just bleached the whites and lean over with my burgundy shirt and now have a white streak across my shirt because I was thinking of what I was making the kids for lunch. The here and now tends to allude me unless I am very purposeful. I have to click the planning off and decide to be in the present. I can do that pretty easily but I still have to do it on purpose. But when I am in the moment, I am all in. When I am in the future mode, I am all in too. In the details, I have to force myself and even then it is very difficult to retain my focus on it. I worked at a bank for a year of grad school. It almost drove me insane. Counting money and arranging bills to all face the same way and documenting every transaction on a different line and giving a separate piece of paper for every single transaction. I had to go running after work and then watch a movie to feel normal again. However, I could picture whole worlds and imaginary places and put myself there and believe it really could happen. I see what could be, see beyond the here and now. I can see the finished picture, how it will be, how it would be if we did certain things. The getting there from here and every step and ingredients required is not part of how the mind works. For that, I need people in my life that care enough to balance me and tend to the details. I can see the song and need help putting the notes together. I see the movie in my head already completed but need help with staging, set decoration, camera crews, special effects, transportation, etc. I sincerely believe Jesus Christ when He said that we can do anything with Him. There is no natural part of me that does not embrace that as truth. Anything can be done. How requires help from someone with detail savvy, and I believe that each other person alive also can do absolutely anything with God’s help. So, not only do I need help to appreciate a completed project, I firmly believe in my supportive friends even beyond what they believe in themselves. I noticed some of my detail friends are so good at noticing everything that they need me to help them do something with that and live life fuller. It is beautiful to see the little subtleties but they can become a distraction to where you focus on them and what might be out of kilter so much that you miss enjoyment out of just taking a huge breath and enjoying the experience of living right now and appreciating it as a part of God’s big picture. I, conversely, can forget that I haven’t changed my clothes after working in the yard before going out. I can appear sloppy. I do not intend to, it just comes naturally. Many of my detail friends won’t show themselves unless they are nearly perfect. Perfect exhausts me. Perfect, quite frankly, bores me. I want messy and natural and smelly. Then you know you are alive and living this amazing life God created you for. So, this is a peek into the life of a visionary, aka big picture person. I hope it has not been too random to appreciate. It is one of God’s many blessings and gifts to us to have diversity. How boring would life be if we were all exactly the same. I respect my detail oriented friends so much for their amazing abilities and I hope to promote acceptance of our faults to the goodness and benefits lying in the cracks of vision minded people. God allows us to compliment each other and work together for the good of His kingdom. Praise God!