I have forced some just me time lately, not time being mommy or wife or friend or musician but just me. I determined that I needed that, going through some things lately in life, lots of loss and missing people and family back home and bff hurting and daddy declining in health, so many things. I don’t think alone time is selfish or greedy and can pretty much in my case keep me sane and better in every way. So I took some, insisted even. I found out some very interesting things. Turns out, when I spend time alone, I always impecibly end up spending time with God. The s out He loves me despite me being me and I felt that. Second thing is that I really like me. I know that seems odd but when so much goes on, it is easy to get unsure, I secure, feel really ugly and discarded, feel really really alone, and it was an amazing and refreshing energy that rebuilt my heart and I realized that the me that God made is still there shining. I am still there under it all. Not the me people see, so perfectly crazy (OK, so I added the perfectly part) and strong in consistency while sweet. I don’t mean that. I mean the inner core, the fighter, the artist, the leader, the thinker and inventor, the mechanic, the doctor and healer and scientist, the lover of people. I am still there. I am not less for my wear but deeper. I am stronger with experience a d not damaged from it. And I thought how very thankful I am that God allows me growth because so many count on me. If I always had great things happen, I could never ever achieve this depth. God seriously loves me and this is why He allows badness in my life and I follow like a little rabbit down a hole. He allows it not because He is mean but because He loves me so very much. He knows I respect and learn from that which breaks me. The strong willed, and no one is more so, require God’s intervention to tame and break and develop. You break a horse to make that horse fit for service and useful. Evidently I am the horse in my Analogy. Lol Should have thought that one through a little. Ha! Needless to say, friends of mine, if I am teetering on crazy, please send me away to be alone. It is far better therapy for me than anything else on the planet. Praise God He showed me that!! He is so good!!
Being of intricate and ever thirsting for knowledge mind, I have been quite amazed at an abundance of amazing discoveries that have crossed my path in the last few days. For one, watching the opening Olympic ceremony was so fascinating and I realized just how many countries exist that I have never heard of. Now, as I teach my son geography I will no longer mourn that I did not mentally attend geography classes myself as a child or thereafter (except the US) and will be pleased to learn with him. Secondly, I discovered that love means very different things to different people, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse, but God’s idea of love is the right one. That amazes me and gives me much comfort. God’s type of love never dies or judges or throws people away like refuse. He is so faithful when we are not faithful or when we are and good when we are not or when we are. He is constant regardless and that is amazingly beautiful and comforting and amazing. He doesn’t throw anyone away ever. Thirdly, I also discovered that sometimes people will compromise too much for a gamble and not enough for true love. Amazingly, God sacrificed everything for people who hated Him and that amazes me and gives me great comfort and respect for Him. Fourthly, I discovered that God forgives so generously when humbly asked that it is difficult to stay wounded for too long in His presence. Appreciation heals better than any healing salve or lotion or potion or emotion. Did I just turn into Dr. Seusse for a minute? It is truly amazing though how well appreciation works. My Grandma had told me to count my blessings and the song with it and I thought that was rather simplistic. But another thing I learned is that simple is by far better and more powerful than overcrowded, overworked and overstressed. Amazing discovery! The last one is how much free time I have because I simplified our schedule, got off facebook, took on fewer responsibilities, kept a cleaner less cluttered home and relaxed with my kids. No need to become so distracted and deterred from the Good. If there is no time in the day to listen to the Lord’s leading and obey and help people around who need me, I have failed and missed the big picture. Amazing discovery!
Bonus thought, some people will feel it necessary to throw their pearls before swine and return to the scene of the crime hoping for a different outcome and there is not a single thing you can do about it but pray from afar and love them if/when they return. This is an individual choice and you cannot ever push a rope. On that, my son gave me great insight in that although you cannot push a rope, you can shorten it so maybe they have less effort to pull when they are ready. I thought that was a pretty amazing insight. Discovering the depth of my child is an amazing discovery. I am a proud mama.
People always want to know a secret. Me too. You delve into new information head on and hope for some new revelation or new way of looking at things that hasn’t happened before. Well, I do anyway. After a bit of searching and then a bit more and more, it appears that the great truths have been taught. There is nothing new under the sun. Except you. You (unless you believe in reincarnation AND it actually does happen) have never been here before. You have never thought of those things before. I think that is why every person God creates is so special to Him and loved. Because when I watch my kids learn new concepts and think of things themselves, I don’t think “Oh goody, just another person finding out the obvious”. Oh no, I think look at their viewpoint and the fantastic way they arrived at that conclusion. I love how he/she thinks! It is wholesome and exciting to see life through new and unique eyes. We are that new unique person in the world. There may be people who have looked similar to you or even did a lot alike but there has never been someone just like you. You are unique and special. That is reason to praise the Creator, not just appreciate the creation. We thrive on newness and I think we come by that honestly. Some truths are constant but some reasoning to conclude with those truths is simply stunning and beautiful. So you are the secret new truth. Embrace your calling and so bless the Creator with your secret of life.