Deep people show their depth in their eyes. They are quieter, studiers, wonderers. Deep people ignite passion within their souls by their focus. They find beauty in the simplest thing, they find richness in the quietest scene, they find purpose in a simple arrangement. They search out the why and how and what else and do not rest their minds until they have dug deeper that previously. Investigators, really. Deep people think and study more than idly babble. Small talk is almost avoided altogether, uncomfortable in the very least because most so not go deep enough and in mind at least deep people always go deeper, need answers, need motivations and purposes. Deep people need to live at a spiritual depth and function spiritually, speaking with God. Deep people do not search out beauty but see it every and anywhere as it lies. How do I know these things? I am deep so from experience. Also from intensive scrutiny of others who share the urgency of depth as a second heartbeat. ❤
It is difficult for me lately to be in the shallow end. I am feeling more myself, grieving my heavy emotional losses seems to be easing up enough for me to be myself again, though I still don’t laugh as freely as I once did and I cry at the drop of a hat now. But I am myself enough to think deeper. The shallow end, the light exterior detail stuff, rather bores me, there is no meaning or purpose there. What people look like, what I look like, what colors I am wearing, the size of someone’s hat or cool tattoos, all of it is not valuable to me anymore. I want to see their soul. I want them saved. I want to help them. The shallow end holds no joys or can hold none of my attention for long anymore. I want to live deep, be deep. I have always been incapable of small talk. I learned some during dad’s illness because I could communicate and entertain my detail oriented daddy that way. I learned and adapted. Now that he graduated to heaven and the sadness for not having him is being replaced by the happiness of him being with Jesus, I am tossing the shallow to the air in preference to the deep. I again long for the why. I deeply desire the journey as much as the destination. I long for the motivation and mission statement and relational news about the spiritual aspect of every person crossing my path. I want to know so I may help. I want to help save or encourage or uplift or lighten or heal or whatever I can do. It is how I particularly am cut. In ancient past, I believed it was because I was an aquarian, the humanitarian weird big picture healers of the world. Now I realize it was simply God’s design of me. And somehow, against all earthly odds, He blesses me and wants me to do what I was designed to do and worship Him. Amazingly, He loves me that much. Incredibly, He has forgiven my screw ups and has decided to keep me as His baby. Wow. And in actuality, God feels that way about you too. You and I are so very loved and I am so very thankful for that! 🙂
Warning, in one of those deep but strange points of view. I want to explore the passions of the mind and its amazing variations on a theme. It has been told me that home is where your heart is. Yes, that is lovely but- let me play devil’s advocate for a moment- is it true? Our mind is infinitely more powerful and busy than our heart can ever hope to be. Our heart’s one function is to pump blood through our bodies and that is even an automatic function. Yes, I understand it is a romantic notion contrived to place love and value on home. Got it. However, the mind has the capacity to take us home, to travel, to dream, to focus on individuals and things, to plan, to mourn, to laugh, to entertain, all with or without us doing anything or being anywhere in particular. For instance, there are reports of poor souls who survived horrific conditions of prisoner of war camps who could not leave a cell for years and often were hurt or made unable to move for days or weeks who came out of it with perfected golf games because they played golf and got better in their minds to mentally get them away from the terror and survive. True story. Other similar circumstanced people went crazy, going through the same thing while focusing on the evils of their situation. I move that victories and survival and joy and peace happen in our minds before they ever become reality. I believe we fight massive spiritual battles in our minds, often unknowingly, and we decide to believe what makes sense physically rather than focus on the spiritual that we cannot handle or visualize. Yes, I am really deep here, but let’s keep exploring this rabbit hole for a minute. Maybe our minds are limited on their function to protect us from information we could not handle. Maybe we really do use all of our brain on the subconscious level and then filter out for ourselves what we can handle as human beings. Maybe the Spirit is perceived by our brain to integrate life enhancing characteristics such as love and peace and joy and patience etc. Maybe as we pray more, we unlock some of the covering and the Holy Spirit’s truth really does start to free us from the lies we tell ourselves to self protect. Maybe God’s Truth from the Bible and His creation we learn and study more and more implants spiritual wisdom and expansion of our minds to unlock more doors to our brain we locked up with lies and compromises. Regardless the link between the spirit world and our physical bodies, it remains determinedly that there is one. Moreover, when we exercise our minds with Spiritual training and discipline of prayer and meditation and Bible study and praise and worship, we change our point of view and way of thinking. It broadens our scope and expands and enlightens our thinking to a greater state and much better way of life results. The battles of right and wrong happen first in our minds. This is why we must be so careful what we put in there and what of that we choose to focus our attention. We must try to be purposeful in our thinking and rein in our thoughts. Then we show God greater honor than we show ourselves, which brings us honor also, consequently.
So, I had a very interesting conversation with Dad today. We are so very blessed to have him in our life still and his speech coming back after this whammy of a stroke. Thank you, God, for that! Anyway, we were talking about his concern for someone who is still smoking through her pregnancy and I mentioned that it is hard for me to understand when people quit during their pregnancy and the start up again after the baby’s born. I said that I would think if you quit for 9 months, it would be easy to just stay that way. I say all that back story to tell you my wise Father’s reply. Dramatic pause… … … “They never quit. They just didn’t smoke for 9 months.” The words have been running around in my head. “They didn’t quit.” And the Lord took me back in my mind to when I went skydiving for the first time. I had prepared, taken the class, suited up and gotten into the plane, secured to the instructor for a tandem dive. Then the time came to jump and I could not make myself at all jump out of that plane. I had the worst ride of my life down from there and the spiraling G-turns down (they do to conserve fuel) left me sick and ashamed for weeks. And I thought, “I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let go and jump.” And I thought to myself, it is all about faith. The lack of being able to put down the addiction, the self-medication of any variety (porn, hatred, games, revenge, unforgiveness, drugs, alcohol, whatever) and just jump out of the plane and free fall into the unknown is harder than most can handle and they have the sickness and shame I experienced as a result and are robbed of peace and joy as a result. Faith is leaving the safety of the plane and jumping into an unknown sky. Which, by the way, I did on my second attempt. I again suited up, prepared, geared up, attached to the instructor and got into the plane. And when it was time and I looked down and couldn’t even see the ground, I panicked and almost refused but I remembered that the plane wasn’t really safe like I thought and was full of sickness and shame and I braced myself and jumped. That jump was freedom and adrenaline and the greatest thrill of my life (until my babies were potty trained) and something I never would have experienced if I had stayed in the false “safety” of the plane. Truth is what I am sharing here… deep truth. As followers of Christ, God requires, not hints, that we jump into the unknown and leave the false safety of the world and its physical addictions and self-medications and subsequent spiritual bondage and jump into faith, becoming free in Him to enjoy His love and peace and joy to an end you cannot conceive of, how great it is! These are discoveries awaiting you as you let go of the devil you know and put your faith in the God who knows you and loves you extraordinarily. Just a thought.