I am stepping out soon to go with some lady friends to the Fancy Flea, a flea market annual event in Plant City. This is stepping put of my comfort zone by socializing with women (I get along better with guys in general), leaving the kids at home (I always have them) and shopping (which I hate- no, detest). Why? Because I was asked by a friend and am seeing the need to be more sacrificial in my friendships. I have used the mostly valid excuse that my husband wants or needs me home, I have to take care of the kids, have to walk the dog, have a hundred things to do to maintain the house and garden, need to stay home and teach, run the kids all over, etc. I have done little to nothing with my friends. I want to have them to dinner, go places, have tea parties, but my husband hates company and I have made allowances for that since day 1. I guess my inner hostess is pushing up through all this submission, perhaps my pride has not all been conquered or perhaps the length of the unfairness has erupted my anger, I am not certain, or perhaps my desire to go home being ignored and cast aside for so long is infuriating my inner rebel.
All these culminate to allow me to go shopping with friends soon without children. We will see what happens but it is my first outing with girlfriends in years. And maybe I don’t need to go and shouldn’t, but maybe this small rebellion will keep me from going nuts with homesickness. I miss my family desperately. And when I have felt like this in my life, I make a way to visit. My hands feel tied and I am, inside myself, starting to wriggle. So I will be praying over this. I really don’t want my inner desires to ever take over my commitment to God and faithfulness to humbleness. I do want God to be first always and His will for me to be bigger than any will of my own. And that is what I need to focus on.
Sorry for rambling and this stream of consciousness, but I figured out my desire to go shopping (which I detest) with the girls and why I am conflicted about it. It is way deeper than I imagined. And thinking it through has helped me see why I may not go but why I may instead get out in nature alone and pray for greater endurance and humbleness. I don’t spend a dime (that I am short on adter 3 birthdays this month) doing this and will be better for it. I will get precious time alone in nature with God.
I have changed my plans for the best. Praise God!😄❤
The thing is that our loving and holy God wants and designed you for a relationship, a personal friendship with Him. This spiritual truth is the most important truth,this is fact based upon evidence both in thr Bible and in nature, in our very selves. Down deep we know this, we are made up of His stuff, so we inherently have an internal right and wrong scale, no matter how we have messed it or allowed it to be messed over the years.
The thing is the way to have that relationship with God the Father is through God the Son Jesus Christ who took care of the bridge between unholy – naturally us and holy Him by sacrificing Himself for us. Believing in this truth and keeping in prayer and Bible study is the key. Naturally, we will want to say and do the right things as a result of that but humbled-soul belief and acceptance and prayer is the key.
The thing is we don’t have unlimited time to do this. We are told Jesus is coming back soon. That means eternal life in heaven or hell (our choice based on what we do with these truths) is beginning soon, ready or not. We own our choice, no matter what deceit has been present. Lies will immediately melt away in His truth and we will be gloriously happy or eternally ashamed. And that truth forces a decision.
The thing is we have to choose humble glory of naming Jesus Christ our Savior or proud shame of forever wishing you had. We must make time for that decision and commit now. ❤
I decide to go walk with my daughter.
I decide not to helicopter my spouse.
I decided his choices are his.
I decided to stay close to God.
I decided to walk with my daughter rather than police my spousal rights.
I decided to pray and let God work.
I decided policing him has been policing me.
I decided to be free.
I decided God avenge all wrongs against me.
I decided not to myself.
I decided to go walk with my daughter.
I decided right for her is my greater right.
It is beautiful.
It is peace and joy from God.
I am free.
Free is beautiful.❤
There is so much talk that everything is good as long as it is what you believe and want and it makes you happy and doesn’t hurt anyone. I believe that is the answer to the wrong question. I believe what is my right and wrong is a fool’s game because we all have such differing experiences and interpretation. I believe we have to always go back to the truth. The only truth I know of anymore is God’s Word, the Bible. It has never been disproven ever. No other book can boast of that. And it was written by God through people, except the 10 Commandments, which God wrote Himself. I believe inventing and living off your own truth is short-sighted and egotistical at best and extremely and eternally dangerous at worst. The question is not what is ok. That is the wrong question. What really matters is what secures my eternal future and helps those around me and what will God allow me to carry into eternity? And that means also what will please God? Apart from the Bible, I am not sure how you would know that. There is an eternity that we will meet sooner than you think which should excite you if you are close to God obeying His Word (which involves heavily reading the Bible and praying) and should terrify you if you aren’t. I believe that motivates behavior in a completely different way when you ask the right question. Many things are ok, but are they eternally beneficial and pleasing to God? That is the correct question to focus all your energy upon. ❤
Anyone’s soul may be saved with utmost confidence when we humby pray to accept Jesus Christ as the sacrifice for our sins to God. The Bible spells it all out and you are welcome to read there, specifically Mark or John or Luke (my favorite). But sometimes we start off great but something or someone or usually we ourselves takes us off the straight path and we end up on a side trail. It can lead you the wrong way and distract you from the correct path. Distractions are huge in life. There are so many out there. A d so stoked you do not even realize you got off the right path and all of a sudden God plops down an inch ahead of you a solid steel 50 foot wall in front of you that you run into and get knocked down for a bit. You think you might be down for the count, this is it, all done, give up and throw in the towel. However, because we are saved, God has actually intervened and He Himself had dropped down that wall from Heaven, not as punishment but because of His amazing love of you, wanting to point you back to the right path. And when you do finally come to, God reveals this to you and you get it and scramble your behind back to the proper trail and journey on, wiser and with an immense appreciation for God’s loving care of you and your salvation. You see, we sometimes need a lesser salvation along the way to keep us honest, keep us or restore us to holy for our Savior. And praise God, He delivers!!
There are some experiences in life that can very quickly humble you low. These bring you down a notch or two and sometimes more. Things like living through war, abuse, trauma, breakups, divorce, bad marriage fit, loss of a loved one, loss of a valued pet, loving more than you are loved, or something as simple as slipping too heavily into a movie. Whatever your selection, it generally involves some level of pain, sometimes deep, sometimes less so. And it leaves the feeler of the pain empty, demoralized, low, hurting, pained, lost. You see, pain often brings at least momentary humbleness. And these immense burdens are difficult to bear but may be used as lessons. That same experience can either make or break you. Being humble is preparing your life for the next thing, preparing the person to either accept the lesson and learn from it and make better decisions next time and acknowledge God in your life or the opposite, becoming more self focused, feeling drained, being permanently damaged, blaming God, etc. And you know only one tiny thing lies between those two options. Your decision. You set your mind and heart to whichever you desire. It reveals your inner heart, it shows your true self and desires, it exposes you. There is a great scene in Lion King where the lion is talking to the monkey about his pain. The monkey hits him and talks to him. Then he tries to hit him again and the lion ducks. And the monkey said you can run from it or you can learn from it. We will gravitate toward what is easiest- hide, protect, run, blame, cover up, retreat, self medicate to feel better again. But you can never go back to how you were before entirely. That is not how it works. You have to pull together all the courage you can muster and remember the truth of the Bible you read and memorized and pray and get back up again, moving forward wiser and with a new tool you can use when you need it. You can only be more equipped to survive something big if you survive something little first. It builds self confidence or self hate, depending on your decision. One feeds the soul and matures the individual, while the other not only prevents growth and wisdom but removes some of what you had. Being humbled is a good thing. I have come to embrace it as much as I once detested it. It is a way to growth and freedom. There is always a price to be paid to learn but learning is always worth that price.
I just read this book to my daughter, who is 4 1/2. She saw it coming… “Why did the fly go into the spider’s parlor? She knew he was bad.” She asked the questions. I thought about that for a while. Why do we risk the danger for the flattery or hope of flattery? Why take the chance that the fly took just to tempt fate and meet the same demise the fly did by the deceptive flatterer, the spider. We have many flatterers daring us to tempt fate also. Some are honestly only semi-nice. Most are wonderful, soupy nice until they get their way. It is this way with temptation, with lust, with gambling, with pretty much every aspect of our lives. We are lured and tested and we play with it. We toy with the idea, entertain it too long. We come willingly into the spider’s parlor and are then surprised when bad things happen. Don’t get me wrong, bad things happen to everyone, not just those toying with badness, but there are negative consequences to negative behavior- either now or later. And we must always exercise caution in our choices and not fall for flattery or vain promises. My answer to my daughter’s questions was “Pride.” As I explained, she seemed to get it. “Pride goes before a fall.” When we are proud, we want to be stroked, be attended to, be taken care of, we feel deserving. And while we all have specialness and special God given talents and pursuits, we are still prone to badness and cannot handle that alone. We still all need a Savior, and thank God we have One for the asking. And maybe with His help and our willful decision, our pride won’t draw us into the spider’s parlor.