I am stepping out soon to go with some lady friends to the Fancy Flea, a flea market annual event in Plant City. This is stepping put of my comfort zone by socializing with women (I get along better with guys in general), leaving the kids at home (I always have them) and shopping (which I hate- no, detest). Why? Because I was asked by a friend and am seeing the need to be more sacrificial in my friendships. I have used the mostly valid excuse that my husband wants or needs me home, I have to take care of the kids, have to walk the dog, have a hundred things to do to maintain the house and garden, need to stay home and teach, run the kids all over, etc. I have done little to nothing with my friends. I want to have them to dinner, go places, have tea parties, but my husband hates company and I have made allowances for that since day 1. I guess my inner hostess is pushing up through all this submission, perhaps my pride has not all been conquered or perhaps the length of the unfairness has erupted my anger, I am not certain, or perhaps my desire to go home being ignored and cast aside for so long is infuriating my inner rebel.
All these culminate to allow me to go shopping with friends soon without children. We will see what happens but it is my first outing with girlfriends in years. And maybe I don’t need to go and shouldn’t, but maybe this small rebellion will keep me from going nuts with homesickness. I miss my family desperately. And when I have felt like this in my life, I make a way to visit. My hands feel tied and I am, inside myself, starting to wriggle. So I will be praying over this. I really don’t want my inner desires to ever take over my commitment to God and faithfulness to humbleness. I do want God to be first always and His will for me to be bigger than any will of my own. And that is what I need to focus on.
Sorry for rambling and this stream of consciousness, but I figured out my desire to go shopping (which I detest) with the girls and why I am conflicted about it. It is way deeper than I imagined. And thinking it through has helped me see why I may not go but why I may instead get out in nature alone and pray for greater endurance and humbleness. I don’t spend a dime (that I am short on adter 3 birthdays this month) doing this and will be better for it. I will get precious time alone in nature with God.
I have changed my plans for the best. Praise God!😄❤
The thing is that our loving and holy God wants and designed you for a relationship, a personal friendship with Him. This spiritual truth is the most important truth,this is fact based upon evidence both in thr Bible and in nature, in our very selves. Down deep we know this, we are made up of His stuff, so we inherently have an internal right and wrong scale, no matter how we have messed it or allowed it to be messed over the years.
The thing is the way to have that relationship with God the Father is through God the Son Jesus Christ who took care of the bridge between unholy – naturally us and holy Him by sacrificing Himself for us. Believing in this truth and keeping in prayer and Bible study is the key. Naturally, we will want to say and do the right things as a result of that but humbled-soul belief and acceptance and prayer is the key.
The thing is we don’t have unlimited time to do this. We are told Jesus is coming back soon. That means eternal life in heaven or hell (our choice based on what we do with these truths) is beginning soon, ready or not. We own our choice, no matter what deceit has been present. Lies will immediately melt away in His truth and we will be gloriously happy or eternally ashamed. And that truth forces a decision.
The thing is we have to choose humble glory of naming Jesus Christ our Savior or proud shame of forever wishing you had. We must make time for that decision and commit now. ❤
I decide to go walk with my daughter.
I decide not to helicopter my spouse.
I decided his choices are his.
I decided to stay close to God.
I decided to walk with my daughter rather than police my spousal rights.
I decided to pray and let God work.
I decided policing him has been policing me.
I decided to be free.
I decided God avenge all wrongs against me.
I decided not to myself.
I decided to go walk with my daughter.
I decided right for her is my greater right.
It is beautiful.
It is peace and joy from God.
I am free.
Free is beautiful.❤
There is so much talk that everything is good as long as it is what you believe and want and it makes you happy and doesn’t hurt anyone. I believe that is the answer to the wrong question. I believe what is my right and wrong is a fool’s game because we all have such differing experiences and interpretation. I believe we have to always go back to the truth. The only truth I know of anymore is God’s Word, the Bible. It has never been disproven ever. No other book can boast of that. And it was written by God through people, except the 10 Commandments, which God wrote Himself. I believe inventing and living off your own truth is short-sighted and egotistical at best and extremely and eternally dangerous at worst. The question is not what is ok. That is the wrong question. What really matters is what secures my eternal future and helps those around me and what will God allow me to carry into eternity? And that means also what will please God? Apart from the Bible, I am not sure how you would know that. There is an eternity that we will meet sooner than you think which should excite you if you are close to God obeying His Word (which involves heavily reading the Bible and praying) and should terrify you if you aren’t. I believe that motivates behavior in a completely different way when you ask the right question. Many things are ok, but are they eternally beneficial and pleasing to God? That is the correct question to focus all your energy upon. ❤