Daddy Reminiscing

I have now lost all my grandparents and my uncle and my Daddy. I only have my Uncle Tim left of all my fathers in my life. Of all my fathers, my best father and the best man of my life was my Daddy. That was up ’til God proved to me that He surpassed even him. Even the best man in my eyes that God ever designed and created is still one of the created and the Creator is still way better. So my Heavenly Father is my treasure, my Abba, meaning my Daddy. And He is worth every conversation about Him and time with Him. So I mourn less about my Daddy being in Heaven knowing that he is there with my Heavenly Father and I will see Him soon. ❤

Remembering Lessons from Daddy

Today was my Daddy’s birthday. I have been thinking of him a lot. I miss him. More than that, I wish my kids could have known him better. But I assembled a list of key facts and morality codes he lived by that will benefit them and anyone seeking wisdom.

1. Daddy always told the truth. He did not lie and detested lies. Yes, you have to face the consequences if you did something wrong but the consequences for lying are a slow death inside and misery along the way so far worse. Truth is always the right answer.

2. Daddy loved God, family and country in that order. No exceptions. Daddy would fight to the death for any of those and in that order. He was a junior high Sunday school teacher and church song leader, a faithful husband, great provider, loving father, and former Marine and lifelong farmer. This was proof, which you always provide when you believe in something.

4. Daddy was very generous and secretive about it. He loved anonymous gift giving and was quite sneaky about it. He saw more rewards for helping without notoriety or reward, knowing then that God gives greater eternal rewards in heaven. Pretty smart cookie.

5. Daddy saw black and white and had no time or patience for gray. It was right or wrong. Dismiss the wrong and live the right. No in betweens, no compromising the right ever.

6. Daddy loved nature. He tended his fields with a passion for their Maker and appreciated, knew and coaxed the soil and plants to perfection. He was an amazing farmer and loved nature.

7. Daddy sang like an angel. He was big and strong, had taught boxing in the service, ran and repaired heavy equipment, farmed, was tough as nails but always sang like an angel for Jesus. You use the gifts you were given. You just do.

8. Daddy put everyone first. God was first and foremost but everyone followed after. He never saw a stranger, picked up hitchhikers, helped countless people move, took great care of us and all our family members, helped out friends with car repairs, even after a double shift. If he could do it, he knew he should.

9. Daddy loved me unconditionally. He was the only one other than God. Yes, sometimes he disagreed with my choices, but he alway was there loving me, there for me, eager to provide for me, had my back. Always. My rock. My secure person.

10. Daddy was faithful to my mom. He is the only man I know of who has been. No porn, no cheating, turned off raunchy shows or even commercials, looked away at trashy dressed women, never even side glanced. He was faithful to her, even when she weighed over 300 pounds. Didn’t matter, that was his sweat heart and he loved her. Proved it.

So, I hope everyone sees the example of my daddy as one to follow as a human. Of course Jesus is a greater example, but daddy pretty good too. I am proud and honored to have been his daughter.

Happy birthday in heaven, daddy! I sure do love and miss you.❤❤

Well Over a Year Apart

I still miss my Daddy. Don’t get me wrong, I am celebrating that he is whole and happy and in charge of the choir or farming in heaven or something he loves. I know he is happy and carefree now and full of life and basking in the rewards he accumulated doing great things on this earth. No doubt in my mind at all. But in this shell, I still miss him. I am depressed no more, God healed me of that, but I still get very quiet now and again. He always had my back. He was one of a very few. He loved me unconditionally. I was his little girl and still am. So, I have taken on his oxe-like strength and greater humbleness and asked God to retain these reminders of him and it has been granted. I also sing better now and I think that was also a gift passed down, a blessing. I remember his eyes dancing every time I walked in the room and his enormous smile. God is my Daddy now and I am content most days and only when I am weak is it not enough. That is dumb though, because God loves me perfectly. I guess that imperfect love that is real is ok to miss sometimes too, though. It is ok. I am ok with still missing him. But I know I will see him, probably sooner than later, the way the world is pushing things along. I am ready. Be ready too.❤

Without My Hero

I am broken. I do not have my hero anymore. I have God who has stepped in lovingly and taken over his role as protector and daddy, hero and friend. But that is spiritual and physical, I have found, matters more than my mind tells me it does. I miss “I Love You” and chocolates and a stuffed animal on Valentine’s Day like he used to get me. I get nothing now, just doesn’t matter to my husband. I miss presents from him at Christmas. I miss hugs all the time from him and smiles that I was appreciated. Those I get from my husband sometimes but it is not the same somehow without that tone of love daddy had in his voice and ever ready ability to make me feel that he would attack anything or one who would dare sadden me in any way. I am not sure how healthy that was but I assure you it always gave me great security and comfort. He was concrete. I am now awash in the tides. Sometimes I feel I am clinging onto God and my huaband so strongly that I have concrete again. Sometimes, especially when tired, I feel like they are both far from me and I am loose and vulnerable. That is how I feel today. I miss you, daddy. I miss your secure love. Hope you are having a wonderful time in heaven, though. That comforts me. So happy for you. Sorry I am feeling sorry for myself here today without you. I am sure after a good night’s sleep, and considering tomorrow is my birthday, I will snap out of it soon. Just the current battle of my mind right now.

The Song of Missing

Daddy, I watched you go. You waited for me. I cared for you as you suffered, unable to care for yourself for two years. I helped keep you at ho e as long as possible, where you most wanted to be with your family. You came here. God sent you down because He knew you needed me to love you out. God knew my arms were the ones you needed around you to take care of you as the stroke and dementia took control of your life. Hardest decision of my life was when we finally had to put you in a nursing home. It felt like giving up but we could not do it all day and night every day and night anymore and my husband kids needed me too. I got lost for a while in the constancy, then I got lost in the feeling of giving up. I know it was the best choice as staff was always there and it was such a good place. But watching your mind go was so hard, Daddy, my Pilar of strength, my hero, my protector and Champion. I was your girl always and I miss you so much. Daddy, I know you are enjoying heaven and I am so happy you are whole and with Jesus. You have no frustration over being stuck in a bed. You are free and running. You no longer have the loss of your amazing singing voice. You are singing songs now better than anyone else up there. You are home in Heaven with Jesus. I sang you there and held you out. What a blessing you were to me all my life, Daddy. Thank you, God, for giving me the best Daddy in the world. I know Jesus is coming soon and I will see him when you decide it is time. I am so full of life and love and am as hopeful about life as full of tears streaming down my face. You are good, God. You were so good to me to give me as long as you did with the best Daddy in the world. Thank you.

Buchanan Blessings from God

I had prayed and had, to be honest, given up on being able to go home to Buchanan Christian Church for my Daddy’s memorial service with our family and friends. From central Florida to Buchanan, MI is a lot of money and a lot of hours. And I get a call from the Preacher of my home church and he tells me the church wants to bless my family and help my mom and I get there. Mom cannot because of her medical history but I had prayed to go. And the my mom blesses me with help from Daddy’s trust for my kids to go too so my hubby didn’t have to take off work. (My husband has work so can not go.) So here is this amazing blessing poured from God through Buchanan Christian Church and my daddy’s trust to go honor him, my precious daddy, with our family and friends from home. I am so honored and blessed. I go up Saturday and leave Monday out of Chicago, so am just there for the day but it is a very special day on October 23rd at 3:00pm to honor my daddy, the best man that I know. Please come if you are able. All are welcome because that is how daddy was. Celebrated his life with us. And I thank God for my home church, the absolutely best church to grow up in. I miss them so much, but hard to attend from Florida. What a blessing. I am so thankful. May God bless my home church and strengthen and grow her for His glory!

In Memory of My Best Memories

There is a warm embrace of comfort that God gives you when you curl up with a loving memory. Tomorrow is a difficult time because we will be honoring Daddy’s life. I can do that better than many because people pay very close attention to their beloved hero and Daddy was mine. He was the man in my life, the constant, the breath that gave me wings, my champion. He loved and defended me and my sister. He was loyal and supportive to my mom for 44 years. And my favorite memory of all time was me throwing up the ball and hitting it into the poll barn. Daddy got home from a long day in the field all tired and dirty. He came right up to me and gave me a dirty mud hug with a laugh as he did sometimes and grabbed the ball and pitched for me. He said I needed to make a bigger dent than that and showed me how to get more power in my swing. It wasn’t a long memory but it is deep and holds my heart loved. Memories are what we have when people are no longer with us. Making them should be a high priority for those we love for we, like my daddy, will one day drift off to heaven. Pictures help trigger memories, help remember. But some of my best memories happen in the moments cameras or phones are left behind, moments like daddy scooping me up to sit on the back of his combine or tractor as he plowed or harvested, the smell and turning of the earth, the consistent rumble of the well preserved engine by a master mechanic, the breathing in of the fresh air mixed with soil, and me proud as heck to be my Daddy’s little girl. I remember the pride I had when I used to visit Grandma Batterson and hear stories of Daddy’s taking good care of her all his life once he was old enough to. Her memories became mine, which is why there is importance in time with elders. Memories are little gifts from God to bring a great moment of love into the present and we can pass that into the future to our kids. The importance of memories cannot be understated and their value cannot be measured. And that is where my heart is right now. Make and share some memories as a loving act of service and encouragement. Never disappoints. 🙂