We had more ups and downs today than you can imagine. I have a pre-teen, a teenager and a husband, all whose moods shift and flow like the tides. Happy one minute, angry the next, all looking to me for their happiness and needs to be met. I get phone calls out of nowhere to hire me. I get a dog attack me at the dog park as I walk in. I get yelled at for not having the kids ready for bed a full half hour before bedtime. I have attacks of my intelligence because someone forgot we are going to visit and help my Great Aunts tomorrow. I have a Sam’s Club run, which is exhausting and time consuming, and put things away. I am proud of having school done despite all these things in addition successfully with the dog park and an early 1.7 mile run and then be told I was a bad mother.
And yes, for once I was on a bit of a pity party and overwhelmed today. My usual steady peace and joy was stirred but not shaken. And all the way to my shower right before bed, I was tempted to run off to live in the woods somewhere.
Then something “no duh” happened to me that changed all that andbrough back my normal peace and joy at easy state. Was it a magic duck? Was it a special chocolate pie? Did I win a luxury cruise for one? Did a masseuse knock on my door? No, none of that. It was simpler and far more important.
I read my Bible and prayed. In doing so, I realized I had allowed in distraction and discouragemnt. It was my choice. I did not stand against it but allowed it in so in it came in droves. I forgot the most important thing is the most important thing… my constant line of communication and closeness to Jesus Christ. I dropped that precious ball onto my heart and it hurt.
So tomorrow, I start with my prayer run and Bible reading and keep the conversation with Jesus going all day. Tomorrow, I stand. Glad I figured it out before more days like this. Truth be told, I thank God for reminding me.😄❤
Herons are commonplace where I live, but I never tire of watching them. They are regal and appear almost breakable and elegant and yet stand unphased amongst alligators and snakes. And they are the most accurate fisherbirds. I can see why. I watch them fish. They stand keenly, quite still for a time duration that presses my impatient tendencies to the limit. How long will he wait? But he is studying, calculating in his little bird brain. He doesn’t want to put out effort for nothing, he wants a meal, wants it to count. So he waits for the perfect chance, the right position, the fish become quite comfortable in his presence, so long he waits to strike. But strike, he eventually does and to great effect. Great fisherbird. The king maybe. No great heroics like the osprey with his beautiful flying acrobatics. No prattle like the moorhen. No clumsy and really fun misses like the awkward but terribly fun pelican. No, the heron is in its own class. He knows he is the best fisherman around. He knows God made him that way. He is confident.
And here is my lesson from the heron. Two actually… 1. We are all made differently and methodical is effective or even more effective than jump in and see what happens. And 2. God pours confidence in His creation but the still accept it more. The heron waits and studies and grows more confident in the environment God made him for. Quietness in God’s presence builds confidence and success. Not because of us but because of Him. With God, I have confidence. The closer I am to Him in stillness, the less I have to say and the more confidence and success I have. ❤
When I feel the weight of the dark world pushing in on me and find myself frustrated or easily angered, I eventually realize that I have somehow tried or managed really to walk a step or two away from my Heavenly Father. It is obvious when I realize it and I always wonder why it takes so long each time. When I am close to my Father God, I feel lighter than the heavy world around me, untouched by its weight, just peaceful and joyful no matter what happens. But why I let myself be drawn away again from that bliss is irrational and inexusable. I need a protocol to protect my most precious relationship, I must prioritize my day better to allow room for the conversations, me and Father God. This is the most important of all relationships. ❤
Staying close to God requires that you put the things that are not God down. You spend dedicated time with Him. You humbly pray. You read His Words, the Bible. You worship. You just chat. You stay close to God like you stay close to your best friend. But you have an advantage with God in that He is always with you, always available, living in your heart. ❤