Parental Mis-Perceptions

Hello. I am Coach Tonya now for our homeschool PE class. I coach 2nd and 3rd graders. They needed coaches and I had done it before, two years ago and loved it so volunteered. And I have already witnessed several mis-perceptions of parents. One was my own. I thought my daughter would not do well in sports because she prefers dolls and pretty pink things, and I was quite wrong. She is great and having and great time! Happy to be wrong. Another happened today when a parent dropped off the child and declared to the class that he was “shy”, to which he responded by acting shy (synonym of “fearful” to me in this context). The minute she was gone, I proceed treating him as if he was a bold leader (I am that way lol), and he was a great leader of the class and excelled and was outgoing. You see, people, and children much more quickly and easily, will rise to the level of the expectations of the leader/coach/parent. They will also fall to them. So always expect and declare good, positive things of your children or students. They will rise to them. Don’t carry your own limitations to them with your negative words or expectations. They are trying to learn and please and you must present positive values and expectations and words for them to aspire to. And they will. It is beautiful and exactly the way God wants and designed it to be. ❤

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Wildfire

A very long time ago, I babysat a girl. It was my one and only time babysitting her. I used to wonder what I had done wrong that they never asked me again. Many families with 4 kids or 2 kids were quite pleased with my babysitting, paid me extra, wanted me back. I was in demand and every weekend in those days was booked. But this one family with this one girl never had me watch her again. Why? And she popped back into my mind. I called her by her name, Rose. She was quite wild and I did not want her hurt or the house damaged so I made her sit with me and draw. She was quite good at it. I had her help me wash dishes while I told a story or sang to her (as she was 9). And she was a doll the whole time I was there. As soon as her parents stepped through the door, she was wild again, like a completely different person, almost possessed. The dad laughed at her crazy and said, “That’s why we call her Wildfire.” I left, boggled and all these years did not understand it all until now. I remember their surprise at her beautiful picture, their almost disdain at her helping with dishes, her calm demeanor they glanced before she realized they had arrived home. They wanted a wild child, a spoiled princess they could laugh at, be entertained by. She was their entertainment. I infringed upon that and showed her a different way without realizing it. I did right by that beautiful little girl and they wanted wrong and it all started with the name. Wildfire. Not sweet Rose. And I love and respect children and demand they love and respect others and themselves and it starts with names. Children tend to live up to what they are called and treated and what their name means. Please understand that and make a point to be purposeful in your talk to people. Only encourage and lift up. “Tell God your problems and bad stuff, tell other people everything else” is very, very good advice I heard from advice wise woman of God.❤

Loving the Children

Jesus loves children. So do I. I am a really old one myself. It is beautiful the newness of everything, the awe ar discovery, the preciousness of every minute, the here and now of it all, the faith and trust and wanting to please. There is a sacredness, a preciousness, an innocence to it all. It is endearing. I love leading these precious ones in worship to our Maker. Oh how they are eager to sing! To praise! To be heard! We need to keep them protected and out of harm’s way the best we can. Anyone who harm’s or wounds or warps a child should be severely punished now and if unrepentant will definitely be punished for an eternity. Anyone who kills a child (even an unborn baby) should have the same fate given to them, but that is my opinion because I share Jesus’ heart in matters of loving children. He never sent them away, always had time for them, encouraged their faith. I imagine he smiled so big when a child wondered after a butterfly, realizing He made them for just such a child to enjoy. Children are treasures. Teaching mine at home has been such at rich blessing for me. Leading worship also blesses me. I am mom first and foremost, always have been, always will be. If I could, my house would be full of them. As it is, we always end up with several around. God bless the children!! ❤

So Now She’s a Philosopher

My daughter is getting close to 7 years old. And she has a new stalling technique for bedtime. She has suddenly become a philosopher, with a million new insights and contemplations and questions just after bedtime prayers and after lights out. Then bam! She is searching then for all of life’s trying questions, such as “Momma, have you always wanted to swing with Lamby?” Or “I can text Jesus on my phone” or “What is Heaven like?” Or “Momma, I feel strongly that we should go to the park tomorrow.” It is always interesting and at the same moment annoying for I need to recover from our busy, b us day. I tell her “We will talk about that tomorrow and now you can discuss it with God until you fall asleep.” Ah, the adventure of childbirth. At the time, you have an idea the worst is over. And in a way, that is really hard but the adventure just begins there and keeps going forever. It really is a beautiful adventure to be a mom. That is true whether you birth your own or adopt someone else’s who can’t care for them. Both are beautiful! Life is beautiful! God was good to think of it. What a richness my kids have brought to my life. 

Parents Demand School Reform

So, our kids in public schools and colleges all over the amazing, freedom encouraging, Christian filled United States of America. I survived all the way to a doctorate because my upbringing was so morally Christian and strong and that was still with being bombarded with social drama, bullies, liberal philosophies, discouragement and ridicule at being a Christian, evolution religion posing as fact, and social garbage about how Islam is a “peaceful” religion (bahahaha). None of this is essential for learning what you need to work and be productive, helpful, patriotic adults. It is ridiculous! How are parents saying “Oh well” and sending them anyway to the wolves instead of doing something, speaking against this garbage. They are paying for their kids to be taught an extreme amount of absolute bunk. I am a parent and am outraged by it. So much so that I homeschool my kids. If I were not able to do that, I would demand to evaluate curriculum, evaluate punishments for bullying, require teachers not preach their biases, return the pledge of allegiance and beginning prayer and the 10 commandments. I would fight tooth and nail until our future/children don’t end up confused and misinformed and brainwashed. Consider what your silence is putting your children through. Step up and say something now. It has gone on long enough. We finally have a President who wants our freedom to be free and not indoctrinated and he will help. Let him know your concerns. Demand action from your state leaders. Demand it.

The Preciousness of Children

Children are precious treasures from God. They are this at every stage of their life from the initial union of this from him and that from her. This starts life, the celebration product of this great union. Life. It begins so vulnerably, so beautifully, with feedings and cuddles and caretaking and snuggly sleeps. Children are innocent, precious, very important for they are the heirs, the next of kin, a new generation, hope. Children are to be protected by adults. Anything less than that is to be violently opposed. Anyone approaches my kids to harm them, they will have to get past me and my husband and every weapon we own, no small task. Anyone who harms or kills a child should receive the same fate. But back to the child. Allow your child to be a child, the beautiful creation of God in His image before you. Allow them to laugh and cry and fall and encourage them the entire time. Be that love source for them. Let them always know you are for them. This is how we give them a solid foundation and demonstrate the importance of who God made them to be. Then we have given them are base, roots for which they can pull from and rely on through tough times this messed up world will throw at them. Discipline them and give them chores so they know their expectations are nd learn to care for themselves but do everything in love and with prayer. Children are the future but they will not be unless they arendnd really taught now. So that becomes a high priority. Tech is no substitute for parents or caring adults who help these children. They need proactive care. Kids rarely raise themselves well. Be a parent like you either had or wish you had growing up and make that a goal. It is the most important work you will ever do. God will always help, grant wisdom and strengthen when humbly asked. Always. 

The Forgetting

So today, I visited my Daddy as is my custom for 2 years now, as that is how long they have lived here and that is how long he has been sick. I am so thankful that I have been able to care for my daddy in his home as long as he could be there now in his new home in the nursing home where he can get 24 hour care. But today, for the first time ever, I was met with blank, empty eyes that did not know who I was. Dementia is a horrible disease and I knew this was coming, seeing it in so many patients and understanding the clinical aspects of it, syptoms, knowledge, I know more about this hateful disease than most people do. But. All my head knowledge flew out the window when my hero of my life, my sweet Daddy, my champion and the only man on the planet who has not betrayed me in some way, this man did not know me, his baby. It is rare that my emotions get the better of me. But I can tell you I am a mess. To my closest loves, I rarely unleash my heart, it is difficult for me because I feel so strongly and most cannot handle that. But. Right now, if I don’t let this sadness out of my heart, I may break under its strength. All day around people, no matter where I went, people were, good people, some amazing people that help, my sisters, my best friend, my children, all are amazingly important to me and helped so much but this therapy of screaming to the world in text that I thought I was ready for my Daddy to go to heaven but I am not. It about killed me that he diidn’t know me. My champion. Who will be my champion? Who could love me like that? No one can. I am not lovable enough for anyone else on the planet to love me like he has my whole life. I have been so fortunate to have such a Daddy. I have not always been the best daughter but he never stopped loving me so much that it gave me wings. I could never have accomplished all I have in life without his support and knowing he was there loving me, my hero. A girl needs a hero who she knows she can run to if it doesn’t work out and just be loved and taken in and held so tightly that no harm can get in. Why does this disease toy with us? It is a horrible thing. I lose him in seconds, in minutes, and it is not what it was. My base of support is crumbling and I am a lost little girl holding out her hand for her Daddy and Daddy can’t come this time. He is lost in his mind. He is fading away. And I am left here to watch him trail off. My tears flow as I write, my nose runs, my heart physically hurts me. Torture would be easier to take. Physical abuse I could handle better than this. This is a slow shredding of my heart. And I write this down not to torture you also but to voice words for pain that I cannot say the words to. My mouth cannot say but my fingers are my voice. Maybe you have such pain for whatever reason. Voice it somehow. It has to get out of your mind. It has to leave your body somehow or it consumes and becomes a stronghold or rift in the balance or change in your psyche. How you see the world can change if it stays in there. My tears are slowing as I type. I am realizing that the release of the emotion is as important as the capturing of them. Water flows in and must flow out. There must be balance. Where there is balance, the catcher is not thrown down when the next pitch comes in. And I realize that I still am loved. My support structure may no longer be one man, my Daddy, buuut it is many friends and family members and my love and those who love me and have shown such amazing support during this difficult time. And please continue praying as my mom has surgery to remove her breast cancer as well during all this. Life keeps going. It changes. When I was young, I thought everything adults did was mundane and repetitive and boring. HA!! I could use a little boredom right now. I wish I had been right. lol Laughter heals. I firmly believe that, there is proof. So, I will not live here, though I am definitely here for a visit with grief. I will visit but I will not live here. Dear God, please grant a fast transition through it!