I listened to the Lord’s still small voice in my heart pull me away from coaching PE. I loved coaching but obeyed. Now, I see why He did this. My husband is having surgery and I need to be there for him. God knew this. He knows better than I do. Every time, this is true. Sometimes I think I might know more, at least I used to. No more of that nonsense.
The more life experience I get, the more I realize three vitally important truths:
1. how little I truly know,
2. how much God does know and
3. how to humbly trust Him who knows better.
Master these, commit them to memory and practice and life will be much better and sweeter for your efforts. 😄❤
So, turns out even the deepest of mourning and ugly sadness and loss and illness has an end. There is a corner you turn in the process of God’s healing, most probably be a use if we turn the corner too soon, we keep going back to it. It is a decision that cannot come too soon, there is a process. I tried to rush that as I try to rush much of life and recently God helped me make a conscience decision to relax, be quiet, simplify and wait it out. I did so and with the help of God, my husband and kids and a handful of amazing friends, I have indeed turned that corner. I went swimming with the kids yesterday, exercised last night, listened to good music, read, watched a little home improvement shows, and planned some of our own with my husband, whose patience and new encouragement I so appreciate. So there you go. I am living proof of the healing process. I have turned a corner and God’s hope is there. I have walked quite literally through the shadow of death and while I never feared because my faith is strong, I wondered if I would live there forever. And my Good Good Father brought me through the valley. And now I understand His quiet methods and timing much better for having gone through it and fully realize His strength and wisdom and not my own that saw me through and led me back to whole. He reseal ed my heart with His healing so it remembers but is renewed stronger. Praise God who is so good! Praise God wisdom go loves us! Praise God wisdom gogo is wise and loving and present!! How I love Him!!!
I was having trouble kicking the blues. I look after my mom more now that my daddy went off to heaven, and while that is a good thing to do, it has been hard because my daddy is still in every inch of her house. And I have had a really hard time with missing him. Also having recently fought off the respiratory virus going around, I have overall been very drained and exhausted. Of course I have still worked my tail off handling everything but am tired afterward and a bit lethargic whereas I use to never tire until my head hit the pillow late at night. So recently, we quit one of our bands to lighten the load and took afterward nd vacation to boot. And I must say that therapy of silence (well, relative silence) and pairing down has worked some pretty amazing recovering. I feel like a human being again. I even had extra energy to get the rest of the dirt spread! It is only getting better! Sometimes God gives us pauses for different seasons of life to heal us up and prepare us for better. And I am falling into His arms and am happy to be here.
One letter difference is all between those two words “better” and “bitter”. Oh and not just a letter but a choice as well. You see, I started with a rough day, really rough and let it affect me royally, momentarily pulled out to play and worship then hit bitter hard after church. Then the day went better because we visited good friends and ate good food. And something else. In talking out the problem and sifting through the rubble to the truth of everything, I decided that bitter will not live here. To remain bitter is to deny the other blessings in my life, God given blessings. My kids, our home, our health, my Daddy still with us for the time being, school about to start, both kids in piano lessons now, renewed relationship with my mom, friends and family still loving me, pool and clubhouse access, so on. It just keeps going and going and to remain in sad and bitter mode is stupid and selfish and needlessly puts stress on us all. For what? Life is too valuable to spend it whining and crying. Time to appreciate and laugh and keep moving forward one step at a time. That honors God, the giver of all good things. He provides what we need when we need it every time we humbly ask. So, I decided to be better, act better, love who I love, live life to the fullest, serve best. Then I honor God and help people.