1. Be observant. Wait a minute before you offer anything and see what they really need. Don’t ask outright or you will get a want and not a need and that only lasts momentarily, but see for yourself what is needed. Often this involves prayer and asking the Holy Spirit for guidance. Remember: providing a want lasts for a day but filling a need is much deeper and longer lasting.
2. Don’t answer their need by filling your own. This is huge. My mom always used to tell me “Men always comfort with sex”. I am not sure about always, but it certainly is tried often. But when someone needs a hug and to share space and tears with someone, sex is really not what they want or need and is getting something for you out of it. Just an example but as a same sex help, if you give chocolate when they need company, you are treating them with what would benefit you and not what they need or want. In essence, either scenario above is a distraction and the problem remains. Remember: to help someone, you must consider their needs and not yours.
3. God is invaluable in helping anyone. To help anyone without praying with them is futile and shallow and unwise and plain ridiculous. As if you have unlimited strength to give them. As if you are all knowing to see into their soul and determine who they need to forgive. God is. God does. Call on His help before you help at all with them. They will how closer to God when He helps them. They will know that all good things come from God, our Savior and Healer. Remember: Do not forger God as Healer, Wisdom, Love and Truth.
4. Touch them. I don’t mean touch them inappropriately but we are Jesus’ hands and feet and people need hugs and reassuring touches. Some more than others, but everyone needs some level of the security and reassurance that comes with touches and hugs. Remember: We are Jesus’ hands and feet.
5. Put them first and just love. The people who comforted me most when Daddy died and my best friend died to me and another friend died all at the same time were the friends and family who had plenty of other things to do but took time out to just not say anything but be in the room with me. My cousin Nicky gave us a place to stay and just loved on us. That meant the world to me. My best friend texted with me support when her van would not allow her to come over. Another friend far away phoned me. Friends here came over. I was in no condition to talk but they coexistence with me and just let me know I was loved and not alone in the world. That is huge when you lose three from a very small circle of loved ones. Just that someone still exists who loves you. You don’t usually have to say a word. Just exist with them. That is healing in of itself. Remember: just be with them and love them.❤