I tell you, my ex was $3,500 in the hole on child support before I finally took him to court. The judge did not like him one bit. His smooth talk did not flatter her. His excuses were not appreciated by her. She ordered him to give a form to his employee to garnish his wages. He quit that job a week later. And had a good job and just quit again recently. See, he doesn’t really like to work. And here is the comedy part… he thinks work is beneath him. He thinks he is charming enough for people to pay him for his presence. Bahaha. But the thing is, my son has to see this and has to wait sometimes for things he needs. Thank God for my husband who loves him and helps with things he needs. I appreciate so much a an who will help with my son. It shows love to me that he is willing to step up and be the responsible father my ex does not seem capable of being. Nowadays, most kids are in marriages with step parents. Ideally, the parents stay together, but we are imperfect and sometimes cannot. It is so important before you remarry if you do choose to remarry that you take into consideration the love the stepdad has for your child/children you already have. And look how he treats his own kids if he has them. It is so n important your kids feel loved as much as you do. They can’t help it and already received soaking up and learning how to treat their future kids by the example shown them. That is never something to be taken lightly. Just a thought.
At band practice tonight, I was joking around with a new girl and heard the bandleader say we would do the verse and chorus. Well, we were playing and those of us on this side played the verse and the chorus but on the other side of the stage (where my husband was) they played something else and without thinking I yelled over, “He said the verse and chorus so I was right.” Well, that was the wrong thing to say, especially while still laughing about something else that was said. So my husband felt disrespected and was fuming the rest of the night and went to bed early mad. So here is a confession of insensitivity to publicly say I was wrong and to show how even people who mean well make mistakes when they blurt things out without thinking. Case in point, we brought a friend to church who does not go with his parents and while there the preacher’s kid teased him and name called about his size. Needless to say, she probably thought she was funny but she totally alienated our friend to church and maybe more. The things we say, especially when joking or sleepy or off guard, well they count. They matter and people can get wounded by them. So, honey, I am very sorry for my rudeness and insensitivity. Please forgive me. And God, please help me with keeping my mouth closed.
Love is a whole, a unity, a common purpose for the benefit of everyone and for God. That sounds utopian or cheesy but it is true. How do I know? Because God is love and He is whole, united, purposeful and beneficial. Love is also good. So it is good to be whole, united, purposeful and beneficial for everyone and God. And this is always true, so it is true for countries, marriages, relationships, communities, churches. So what divides? Well, anything, even things that look good, that diminishes the importance of destroys the unity, whole, purpose, benefit for everyone and God. Pretty basic and simple, I think. Who would want to divide? Someone who pridefully wants their benefit to outshine everyone’s benefit is one. Distractions of entertainment or tech or social media or gossip or other distractions that draw you from the purpose and unity. The enemy of love or God is another. People who glorify their ideas above truth, whether because of mental problems or their own philosophies’ importance to them. The thing is truth is truth. And because love is good and whole and united and purposeful and beneficial to everyone for God, these thing provide what love provides, which is peace and joy and hope and self control and gentleness and faithfulness. It is beautiful when it works well. Thing that can divide marriages are lies, prideful self gratifications separate from your spouse, disrespect by treating yourself as more important than the feelings of your spouse, or arguments about money or raising children, etc. Things that can divide church are lies, marital division, denominations, gossip, traditions, dogma, false accusations, disagreements and personality clashes, or distractions, etc. Things that can divide countries are lies, separate government parties, misrepresentation, damaging media (more lies), false accusations, injustice, glorification of hate and evil, church division, marital division, etc. So there is a lot of work the enemy is putting in to dividing our marriages/families, church and country. But as damaging and successful as it seems that is, the cure is actually much much much stronger. Love is the answer. Being good and loving to each other is the start. Being united and whole and purposeful and beneficial to each other for God is the outcome. Overcome evil with the much stronger force of good. God, the most powerful and smart and loving force in the entire universe is on the side of good, love, unity, purpose. Choose to be good and kind and respectful in every relationship of your life, starting with your spouse then children then church then country. It is a choice. It is worth every effort you put into it. We cannot change anyone but we can change ourselves. We can love! Everything starts there.
I don’t fawn over my husband because that is not his thing not because he is not a wonderful husband and very good man. I respect him and love him dearly because for the past seven years we have been married and even before that when we were dating, he has always opened the door for me, has always taken care of me, been a great Father to my son from a previous marriage and our daughter, played with me in bands through many musician band family members who have come and gone, providing a common hobby and deep musical history. We have walked through fire together, through distractions and horrible accusations by a demonic figure of a person, through an ex no paying child support for 3 1/2 years and finally court. Sounds like a lot of drama, but that was spread over 7 years and we are fairly peaceful lately with busy but quiet lives since he retired. And no marriage is all roses but ours is steady and respectful and my husband is a great conversationalist, loves God, loves me, shares my love of travel and is a great thinker and teacher. So here is to my wonderful husband. I love you, honey. Thank you so much for all you do and sharing your life with me! What a ride!
Our band is gigging for NYE this year, like every year, our biggest pay night of the year. It is a blast and I love bringing in the year with happy, dancing, rejoicing people because of familiar music from our band family. This year is different than last because one band family member was list to controlling manipulative wife. Whereas we were very sad to lose him, we were glad to lose her for she was a pain in the butt since day one. She is the reason we interview wives when adding new band family members now. Lol So, we miss him because we love him but not having her will definitely make this New Year’s Eve so much funner (is that a word? Lol). So I am looking forward to a more enjoyable bringing in of the year, this mixed bag that it is. But here is the point. Life and New Year’s Eves are what you make of them to a point. The company you choose is vitally important though because one evil cold hearted grump in the bunch can cause much distress. Better to be without such a person if you are wanting to live a happy life or have a happy evening. Also, spouses should be supportive at all costs and not cold and selfish, thinking only of themselves. Keeping your spouse from doing something they love that benefits others and brings in money is selfish and dead wrong. Spouses should support each other and encourage them. It is ahndndnd reminder to me seeing a wife being so extremely bad at it that I need to be more supportive of mine. It is also a great reminder to be a source of joy where you go and not drag people down. Put on a happy face and go and enjoy! Should be an amazing New Year’s Eve gig!! Looking forward to it a lot! Have a happy and safe New Year!!! God bless you!!!! 🙂
I love Bob Marley’s songs, for the most part, love reggae too. It is happy music. Even sad lyrics sound happy to a reggae beat, ever notice that? It breathes life into an old idea. And I love his song No Woman, No Cry. It reminds me that a real man cares for his woman. Very few people seem settled within themselves to be content with one person for a long time. And with everyone their own God or at the minimum selfish and prideful, it is only the morally upright and others-orientated and God fearing/serving that stand a chance. Compromises must be made by both parties. Many of my friends and I in times past have cried at the insensitivity and selfishness of her spouse. I am sure that is visa versa also I hear lesson that. And it is sad when two grown up people can’t be big enough to drop the pride down and lift their spouse up. It is sad. But there is hope because God is still on the throne. And God will sometime relatively soon come on back and we will not cry again. It is a beautiful thought.
The perfect man is always trustworthy and never lies. He is always, always faithful. He always appreciated and sees and encourages the natural beauty within you. He never takes your love for granted. He loves you more than his own life and would give his own to protect and save you if needs be. He would fight for you and honor your heart that beats for you. He would see you as perfect even on bad days or days you just are a mess or hostile. He would always be able to protect you from anything coming at you.He would always be available for long walks or cries or fun getaways and always provide exactly what you need when you need it, even anticipating these things.
So, does such a perfect man exist?? Of course, but I just described Jesus Christ, a Godman. He is who we need to rely on for what we need. He is the only perfect man. If you are expecting all these things from anyone else in the world, you will be let down at best and crushed at worst. But if you draw near to Jesus and your man does too, maybe that will work. Just my thoughts…