Spouse or Family of Addicts Yields a Forgiveness Expert

One big thing about living with an addict, whether you are married to one or there is one or more in your family, you become a forgiveness expert. Now, this isn’t automatic. It took me a while to

1. be humble enough to admit that I was not perfect (when you see someone every day in addiction(s), you tend to compare and feel pretty holy and it takes maturity of humility to admit to not being perfect and thus forgiving. (It helped me a lot with this when a pastor said “Our comparison should never be against other people who are also flawed but against Jesus who is perfect, then we see the need for His grace”) and

2. Be mature enough to know that God will forgive my sins as I forgive those who sin against me and

3. Trust God enough to have control of the situation and yield my control of it,

4. Find comfort and strength in a strong relationship with God, and lastly

5. Realize that forgiveness does not mean enabling as long as they know where we stand and we maintain healthy boundaries (forgiveness is the earthly manifestation of grace which frees rather than enables – they carry obscene amounts of guilt continually and this frees them of more).

All these things needed to be in place for forgiveness to come easy to me. When you decide to stay with the addict, you decide to purposely stay with someone who has chosen to feed their own selfishness and narcissism based on lies and escapism over any real love for you. They decide to be Willoughby from Sense and Sensibility. They do love you in their way “but not enough” because of this sin sickness, this self-inflicted denial and escapism (escaping from pain or discomfort or trauma and God). It is humbling and to survive relying on God is paramount to success.

Know that it is always God’s desire to draw everyone close to Himself and so He rewards those who stay with those running from Him and who keep showing His love. He wants them back and appreciated you standing in the gap through prayer, Bible study and loving example of grace and forgiveness.

So we have the extra blessing of opportunities to forgive. As such, we are in a very good position to be rewarded richly by God and also to be able to help other people in the same position or less experienced at it. Anyway, God bless us, everyone. Much love to you on your journey. 😄❤

Fasting Prayer Change

So tomorrow (Wednesday) I will be fasting as usual. All of you who love God and obey Him, please pray with me and fast if at all possible. I know some cannot, but those who can, please do.

I usually post the prayers I will be praying so we are one in our prayers. I want to change things a bit. The world seems to be incredibly out of sync right now and rather chaotic. It feels different to me. And I want us to pray a different prayer for the day. I want us to pray along these lines…

“Dear Heavenly Father, I come to you humbly. I ask you to forgive my sins that I know about and those I don’t. Please wash me clean by the blood of Jesus and the power of His resurrection and fill me anew with the Holy Spirit. I seek Your face. There is a chaotic spirit and principalities in the world right now all over the world. We are praying to you against this. We are fasting (if possible) and praying (everyone) for You, Holy Father, to come against these principalities and spirits of chaos in our countries all over the world. Those who are doing good and spreading the truth are being attacked openly right now. We pray for their protection. We pray that those attacking them and those full of lies and greed to be seen as such. I pray those operating in evil to be found out and punished and them to change their hearts to see their need for salvation. You want everyone to be saved. So I pray that Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven and that Your name will be praised in all the earth. Please draw us close and deepen our relationship with You. Please change and soften our hearts to forgive and love people and see them as you do. Heal those sick, especially those spiritually sick. And bless our good leaders and keep them good and punish the evil leaders and change them to good. And we believe You love us, will help us and have already answered this prayer. And I praise You, perfect Lord, for You are never surprised, all powerful and so very good! Love you so much, Daddy! In Jesus’ glorious name, Amen.”

Thank you so much for honoring the Lord in this way and praise be to God!!😄❤❤❤

Changes in Health and Beauty

I had lost 50 pounds. I did this without exercising, just via the Paleo nutrition lifestyle. And I don’t believe I am made for that long-term because I woke up regularly with Charlie horses and always had foggy thinking and was slow with problem solving. Sure, I was on target with my “ideal weight” but felt lows about myself.

So I threw away that option and have stuck with the health and freshness of it but added some carbs (healthy ones mostly) and most importantly exercise every day, walking fast and even some jogging between 2-4 miles a day with the kids. We are all three healthier and stronger and I feel good again and strong and healthy. And I have yet to experience a Charlie horse again or cloudy thinking. So, sometimes you have to modify. Yes, I have gained 30 pounds, the scales tell me, but my clothes still fit beautifully and comfortably and I have muscle definition.

So don’t always care so much about the numbers or some unknown person’s thought of what you should be. Be the healthiest person you can and do so for God and His kingdom and glory, woking with Him on the heart and mind. That is what makes beauty. ❤

Old Enough to Know

I am old enough to know that I could be a grandma now and yet I am a momma to a 9 year old.

I am old enough to know that even if I live to be an old age of 80, she will be in her 40’s when she experiences the loss of me. And if the Lord takes me sooner, she will be all the younger.

So I am old enough to know that I need to prepare her to rely on God for comfort and herself for taking care of herself with God.

I am old enough to know that my greatest gift and provision possible for my children is to exemplify and teach and train them to draw close to God and have that relationship with the perfect Heavenly Father who loves them even more than I can.

I am old enough to know that now matters and eternity matters. So I will love my children by teaching and showing them a beautiful relationship with Christ and I will have done the best I possibly can for them and also for God.😄❤

Walking a Tightrope

When we feel like we are walking a Tightrope through life, we miss the point. When trying to wrestle with making the masses happy, balancing time with our kids and spouse, figure out how much time our work should take and then a complexity added of how spiritual to be and when and how to do right and not wrong and when to say what and when to not talk, the tightrope under our feet gets skinnier and the distance beneath us is greater to fall.

And people fall from it all the time. People, sadly, believe that is all there is and lose hope and fall. And that is the saddest thing ever because they have clearly missed the point. And maybe that is why we weird big picture people exist, to remind you of the big picture.

Sure, we are weird. I own that and have never cared what people thought of me because of the big picture thing. Yes, I miss a lot of the details so I miss a lot, but here is the thing. I am good at at least one thing, seeing and showing the big picture. And here it is. This is huge and if you grasp it, your tightrope will suddenly turn into a wide bridge over a trench.

Accepting Jesus Christ as Savior is all about grace and putting God first.

If you really embrace that, your life will instantly be brighter and load lighter. Guilt loads will dump off to God’s forgiveness. Loneliness will disappear because God comforts and fills you up with thr Holy Spirit, a constant companion with warm arms and power when needs be. And balancing everything becomes easy as He gives abundant wisdom when we put Him first. And reading thr Bible and praying keeps our connection to God strong and bonds the relationship so peace and joy is forever right there no matter what.

No need to walk a tightrope, just need to see the big picture and embrace it. Then wow, that grace takes over and perfection is no longer required, just devotion. Wow! Freedom! Hope!😄❤

Thr Opposite of Fear is Faith

When our fear is ramped, our eyes are on us, guaranteed. When our faith in God is ramped, our humble focus is on God, guaranteed. You cannot operate deep in faith in God and still be unable to function due to fear. It is impossible. Faith and focus on God is love and that drives fear away. There is no room for fear when you are operating in faith in God. It is impossible and you are not being truthful if you say otherwise. And we cannot overcome a lie with another lie, we must call it as it is and then we can fix it with humble faith and focus on God and be set free from fear. Knowing and admitting is half the battle. The second half is deciding to trust (act out your faith in) God and focus on Him.❤

The Choice to Remember

To a significantly great extent, we are given the ability to choose to remember or forget. Now I realize that traumatic events take a great deal of time and forgiveness more than time to get to that place, but it is possible. I am proof of that. I remember what went down, but no longer remember smells or details or pain or sounds and yells. I chose to forgive long ago and more recently asked to forget and God granted me that to the extent a human mind can. We have to remember some or it may be repeated or help someone else somehow. Also, it becomes a beautifully remade scar filled with God’s diamond dust healing to give Him glory for healing us from it and making us prettier and humble.

But I really went down a rabbit hole there because I want us to all start practicing the remembrance of good things. In fact, I suggest we get a notebook or memo app and write down who and what kindness was done to us in our day. Thr smallest thing, the biggest thing. We can choose to remember. And then we can, at the end of the day, week, month, whatever, look at them and smile and thank God for those blessings. It may encourage you. You may see patterns. You may appreciate more. You may whine less. You may share the idea with someone else who seems down a lot. It may help them. Old fashioned people call that counting our blessings, but make that fresh and call it “choosing good” or “good things to remember” or something. Maybe post some good thing to lift someone’s face to God for a minute. Maybe change the world one good thing at a time.😄❤