I have started this new thing. Correction, the Holy Spirit has finally been allowed by me to start this new thing. He has given me definitive clarity on this 8 day fast I am on. (I generally fast 24 hours weekly on Eednesdays and have aince September but I was told told fast while my son is away in Honduras on a missions trip and I am obeying.) On day 3 today, something started this decision. I screwed up. I accidentally ruined something of my husband. He is generally very abrasive and passive aggressive for days and does not forgive easily and keeps bringing it up and making me feel like an idiot for weeks/months/years about it. This is generally his reaction when I mess up pretty much anything, and I am clutzy and mess up a lot. Anyway, before I reacted to his tirade after I confessed my really dumb screw up and harm to his possession, I prayed. I prayed to ask God to help him not be so mad and to help him to be able to forgive me. After a few more angry and hostile comments about my disrespecting him and destroying his thing, something amazing happened. 1. I had total peace. I knew I screwed up and had confessed and will make an effort to be much more careful and certainly did not intend to harm it or disrespect him. God gave me peace. And 2. God helped him calm down and try to figure out how to salvage it. He relaxed a bit. Amazing.
And I am thus on a new selfish mission of self-preservation. I will pray before reacting and responding. I did not say a word in response to initial tirade. I humbly prayed in response before I pridefully opened my mouth, which would have made matters worse. I just prayed. Not only does this help everything but also conveys trust in God and faith that He can and will intervene to help me, the little girl He chooses to love. I can draw closer to Him in this relationship. He can maintain peace in me no matter what tempest rages outside these walls of flesh. Praise God who always answers prayer!!!❤❤❤