My secondary love language is encouragement. Gary Chapman in his book The Five Love Languages describes it as “words of affirmation”. My primary love language is quality time. The others are acts of service, gifts, or touch. I spend time with an encourage those I love. A lot, whenever I can. Some people I love are far away so I spend time and pray for them. It’s what I do.
Well, the downside of having a love language is that if people you live with or are married to don’t speak your language, you either have to keep reminding yourself that they speak a different language and still love you or you don’t really feel loved. I feel loved by my kids because we spend a LOT of time together. I spend a lot of time with my husband since he retired also. The secondary language, encouragement, is harder to come by. My daughter is the best at it, thank God, and my son is when his teenage hormones ate not in charge, but my husband could quite literally be the best critic in the universe. He could find something wrong with every tiny thing and suck out every ounce of happiness you might otherwise find in his presence. I brought this to his attention and he was more careful for five or ten minutes, so we are not without hope, but criticism eats me alive and my poor kids too. Horrible stuff, criticism. I strongly recommend staying away from the stuff, it’s like acid eating away at your heart.
Anyway, the point… focusing on Jesus and His Word the Bible encourages me and gives me time with Him. And in this way, I have stayed married to the critic, stayed sane, thrived in my knowledge of the truth of who I am in Jesus, and have taught my kids they are who Jesus says they are and not what any other person on earth says. We are not defined by our sins but by His redemption. I am not my failures but His victory, precious and loved. This is now and will always be true 100% of the time.❤