Longings of the Soul

My body has longed for things and people I should never have longed for. And that is a shallow, emotional matter which requires the help of God via self-control. I am not speaking of that otherwise. I wish to speak of the deep longings of the soul, the spirit. Most churches/pastors/society denies our depths in favor of the easier and more palatable surface/body/shallow/physical issues. Easier, lazier to deal with. Obvious. A moron speaks of such things without ever going deeper. The deeper longings of our soul and spirit are where our shallow stuff comes from. It is the why we do what we do. If we auchddress the behavior but never they why, there is a huge chasm in relatability and practicality and intelligence there. We have to go deeper to grow in spiritual maturity and deeper relationship with Christ. It just has to happen. So we have to ask ourselves heavier questions? “Why was that a temptation?”, “What made that desirable?”, “Why does that bother/anger/trigger me?”, “What do I need that I am not getting?” are all questions to start digging with. Sometimes we get stuck on anger comfortable, familiar lie that got stuck in there and replayed so long we take it as truth and it is tripping us up. For example, every guy I dated told me I was fat and criticized my appearance. So I took that as fact. I was unlovable because I was fat. Every guy. But I started digging. Why does it bother me what guys think? What do I need? And it turns out I have a deep desire and longing to be loved and accepted as I am, secure in love. And I was drawn to men who were critical because I was raised with criticism and that was a comfortable lie that I had nothing but flaws. The thing is, once I realized where I screwed up, I could correct it and if guys started criticizing, bye bye. I adndccepted not going to be comfortable around lies again. And further, I repented of that sin and sought out God to be.my loving security and His perfect love is the only kind that loves me as I am. See, God is Who I needed the entire time. ❤❤❤

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