Journeys of the Mind

In the last year, I have gone through such a radical journey in my mind, it is difficult to remember who I was before this force-fed maturity. Lol I was this free-spirited, laughter – loving, self-sufficient woman with a firmly decisive view on life and how to live it. Having been through a series of losses and illness and caretaking and deaths, I careened into a cycle of falling apart and humbling myself, something no doubt long overdue in my life, but with more tears thrown in there than I have ever cried before in the entirety of my life. I was broken. I was damaged. I was lost for a bit. It was ugly because I felt truly alone inside, even with my living kids and husband who rallied to love me and a few amazing friends of new and old. And I tell you not for one minute did God ever give up on me or refuse to comfort every breakdown in tears. And I gradually started to get it. I started to see how this smart doctor really needed this series of events to appreciate simplicity and know God better and be humbled enough to grow as a woman into a deeper love of God. I am on Twitter and blog and cannot help but share God with everyone. He is so good. I know and understand this first hand. He resaved this little girl. I am nothing without His love and loving grace interference. I am so thankful that He rescued me from the mire of self-pity and depression I was falling into and restored His gift of laughter to me and seconded that gift with a new superpower: empathy. It is a heavy gift but a beautiful one because I am so much more connected with people around me and before I was always so weird and a bit, well, aloof, when it came to emotions. I saw them as weakness and now I see they have purpose and strength when utilized to help and comfort and release. There is and new me in here and most of this journey quite frankly occurred in my mind. I believe our journeys occur in our minds and hearts primarily and our physical manifestation is a long time coming, an ordeal of many years of internal devotion. This is why it is so important to keep our minds focused on Jesus Christ and His Word. This is why I often put scripture on Twitter and my blogs. This is why I read it and load up on Truth and teach my kids. We have to worship God with our minds and hearts before we can ever expect to serve Him and mankind with our lives. Our actions result from the ambitions and meanderings and obsessions of our minds and hearts. From this, we act. And God sees and looks at the heart and mind. He knows us better than anyone, having lovingly designed us and all, and He will judge our motivations first and foremost and actions second. It is impertinent we keep a clean house of our mind and heart. This journey is first of the mind. We must think and feel God and Truth and Light and keep feeding on these healthy things. This journey may be hard and arduous but if we use the right tools of God’s Word, prayer, humility, self-control, it will seem shorter, easier, more peaceful and joyful. ❤

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