Rebuilding

I am encouraged at the thought of rebuilding. Rebuilding is hope. It says “This may have been on the brink of collapse and might have fallen a time or two but it is not done yet. It is not over, not hopeless.” That is how I was on many levels a month and more ago, ex and his psycho wife giving me and my son grief, my husband and son not interacting well, my loving Daddy died, lost two very good friends forever (two is a lot when you don’t have a lot to begin with), lost band family members, helping mom with memorial services and her grief and finances, just a whole heck of a lot at once. And the worst of all that was my absolute void of close contact with my God, who was so good as to help me and bring me through all that anyway when I finally humbly got on my knees and begged Him to. I can tell you that God co forts those who mourn when they call on Him. Every single time. But nonetheless, I also, in the only deep depression I have ever been in in my life, had little motivation or energy, littler ambition to exercise and hibernated for a while as much as I could while still trying to be as good of a mommy and wife as I could muster. I was not sure what good I was to anyone, a wreck of a person. And I did not think I had anything left for God to rebuild. Quite frankly, I was like an empty body walking around, not knowing what to do with myself and I am not generally that way, being normally fun, independent, helpful, serving, ambitious and strong. And as I went through this roller coaster of emotions and a booster of extra crazy hormones from metapause starting, I withdrew from loved ones and God and that was the opposite of what I should have done. And as I am now healing and returning to a glimmer of the flashy, strong, fun me, what made the hugeous difference was God. I had amazing family (my hubby, the kids, Nicky), friends (Shawny, Char, Susie, April, Megan) and mentors (Mrs. Hendricks) and a few beach vacations. All that aside, rebuilding would not have been on the menu without God showing me such careful, detailed love and rebuilding from the inside out. There is no other permanent solution, I know that to be true. He is the Great Physician and Rebuilder and builds it all on the Cornerstone of Jesus Christ. That is it. Anyone can rebuild, no experience necessary. All that is required is to accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior and humbly pray for help. Bam! Ya got it! And it may not be what you had in mind but will always be exactly what you need and can handle at that moment for the rebuild. Sometimes materials need to be gathered first. Sometimes you have them but need hardware or need assembly. God knows best what you need every time. Much love on your rebuilding journey! Right there with ya. 🙂

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