So I had been emotionally on the mend since it happened, nearly back to myself, nearly feeling fully alive again and the last couple of days feel like a step back into loss. I do not want to feel sorry for myself but such a huge part of my life is gone now and I miss him so much. He loved and supported me unconditionally and always could calm and focus my mind. I miss those things and so many other things. I thought maybe if I talked about it, I could get past the missing faster and feel my new normal again sooner. And I thought maybe someone else has lost someone they loved and might be hurting too after the celebrations have died down. And I decided it is ok to take a step back and miss him as long as very soon here I step forward and journey on. My plan is to draw closer to God by reading my Bible, specifically the Psalms and praying more, relying on God’s strength, wisdom and healing. When I am weak, God is stronger through me than I could ever be myself. When I mourn, He comforts me. When I need Him and ask Him, He always gives me what I really need deeper. Love you.