A Special Renewed Strength

Generally, I have it all together and am the strongest person, at least internally, in the room. Not the best, not the prettiest, not the most talented, but the internally strongest and externally often. It is a gift God handed me down through my dad, not bragging just a factual gift. Since I lost the most important man in my life that I loved the most, I am now knee deep in weakness much of the time, never knowing when the tears will flow, not knowing when a laugh starts but turns suddenly to tears. It is a bizarre thing for one who truly understood her strength to turn into one that has no firm or consistent grasp of it. And let me tell you the ironic thing. I have heard it a million times where God says “In your weakness, I am strong.” To me, that had only been true in theory, in matters of the soul and Spirit, in moments of saying something to help them when they were weak. I have been injured but never floored weak before. And the saying is true. When I have been weakest, I have had a new strength rise up in me, largely because I feel genuinely weak and thus vulnerable. Vulnerability requires a great deal more faith and trust in God to handle things you face. You have to. But then, I have also experienced this weakness where I had no energy to pray and get refocused and then I just stayed weak and barely wanted to leave my bed. And other times that I forced my attention and focus to prayer and getting up and serving my kids or husband, I found that every time I attempted a step, it was met with enough strength for another. Then another. And this is the secret. So I find my strength renewed in an odd sort of seemingly wimpy but actually calling in the big guns spiritually way. And this is a new stronger strength than I have known, not dependent on my efforts and mental and physical prowess. It is based on God’s ability to pinch hit when I have a broken arm. Incredible lesson I wanted to share in case anyone needs hope and a handy secret weapon. You are most welcome. All good comes from God. 🙂

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