Choosing the Hope of Marriage

When friends are no longer in your life, you necessarily cling to those who are left who still care about you and love you. They are more appreciated. Although a big fat zero of us are perfect, and some are downright hateful at times, we share a bond, a step in the same direction along the journey, sometimes tighter with children. Through trials and bad choices and ugliness and missteps, we walk together through the clumsy and  make our way together to the smooth sand beach where there is lime in the coconuts and hammocks to rest. The way may be wrought with threatening things we each might bring on the journey: bad experiences, bad habits, really stupid choices, addictions to other fake 2D women, unforgiveness of the past carried over, awkwardness, defensiveness, passwords unshared to foster mistrust by protecting secrets, many awful very real things that threaten to stop the journey together that marriage is. These are very real threats so many face, everyone I know about, actually. There is heartache every day sometimes and blue skies other times. Reality is so much harder than the Brady Bunch and much much more complicated. That is, until both travelers let down their pride and ego and work on the marriage, really pour into it. Love despite the return level. Love to the fullest degree. Really try to understand their spouse and harmonize with their song instead of insisting on a different song all the time. If both spouses actually take God’s advice and submit to each other, what a difference our journeys would look. When spouses obey God together and stop gratifying and fulfilling themselves separately and selfishly, apart from their spouse, you see harmony in the home, balance, trust, hope, and the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control). Imagine such a home where secrets cease to happen and bonding takes over, taking strides together on the journey in this happy way, celebrating each other. Both spouses must be on board for such an experiment in harmony. But how magnificent such an relationship would be! Perhaps I am a dreamer, perhaps two imperfect people can not drop their pride enough to care that much. But I choose to believe there is hope in every union God puts together. And I find hope and comfort in God’s design rather than man’s. When God is invited in, He will take the wheel and all good breaks loose. He is the glue.

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