Tried and Tired

I have lived on my own and supported myself with a place to live and a car and a college education since I was 17. When you branch out on your own, you make mistakes, bad decisions, some are made for you. But I was always very blessed because I walked with God. Even when I made very bad choices, I still read my Bible and prayed and attended church. And He always realigned me as soon as I would drop my pride down to let Him work. Faith was never my problem. Rebellion was. So I learned most of the lessons of my life the hard way, hands on. So I understand being tried, living paycheck to paycheck, working through illnesses, surviving bad relationships, losing loved ones, losing pets, divorce, and just thinking about it can make me feel tired. I have been tried and I am often tired. The really good news is that despite my current or past stress levels, God has seen fit to guard my life and allow me to be in this place at this time. It is wonderful to think of what I have accomplished and experiences throughout of travel, finishing my education, never being homeless, eating, learning meaningful skills, living with a family, serving as a camp intern two summers, short term mission projects abroad, playing piano in worship bands all over, having two amazing kids, meeting the amazing love of my life, etc. There are so many times I pushed forward when others would have run. There were accomplishments I am proud of, even if only a handful of people ever noticed or cared at all. I never gave up despite loneliness, abuse, and neglect. So trials produce fatigue, yes. They wear you straight out. But without them I would not know what God can do through me. If you are tired, you can park there, bask in it, roll around in pity, consentrate on the trials. Sure, you could live there forever but what a waste of the beautiful lessons you can learn on the other side. It takes a great amount of bravery and courage to step up and out when it is scary and hard and whips you and forge through that pain to rise to what the lesson is God is teaching you. And the very best of His creation He ho n or with the biggest pain to reward you later with the realization that you plus Him is incredible. It is impossible to know yourself for sure or that you would want to if you refuse the right to grow through trials. Tried is tired but the is triumphant if you do it right.

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