Narcissistic Banter

I am not a narcissist. Let’s just establish that. I do not believe the earth revolves around me, my whims, the color of my toes, my reproductive cycles, my moods, my anything. I believe the sun is the center of our solar system, not me. So I thought, as many people I have met and driven around lately, how fun would it be to just pretend I was a fellow narcissist for just a brief moment. What do they get out of their ridiculous behavior? So here is my jaunt into the egotistical world of ridiculous narcissists.

So, I got out of bed and was very upset because no one applauded. I mean, I put myself in harm’s way getting out of bed just to go to a stupid job. They even expect me to do stuff there. As if. They should pay me just for showing up. I mean, that is a lot of work. Getting up before I really am ready and dressing in their “required” clothes, which are not my best color and driving all the way for 6 exhausting minutes with 2 traffic lights that are sometimes red. All to stand here at this register so they can run their store and make the big bucks. They cannot exist without me. And people come in to see me for obvious reasons, I draw them in. They should pay me just for showing up and marketing my attractiveness for them. I should demand a raise. I am invaluable to this place. And now they are wanting me to do more stuff like scan the tags in. With the marketing of my gorgeous and now this, they should be paying me twice as much for doing 2 jobs. And they better not nag me about not checking in with my friends on my phone. It’s only texting and stuff. People can wait, my friends are important. I will not miss anything for these people I don’t even know. Plus it is so boring and so long to stand here.

Okay, so that is all I could take. I chose this example because I have witnessed this exact behavior at three different department stores I have been in lately. Man, I can’t even wrap my head around how messed up it is to believe you are greater than everyone else in the world. It’s pretty funny to hear it. Not so funny when it really happens. Well, thought I’d try for a few minutes and see what the draw was. Missed it entirely. I would rather have a humble servant’s heart and really be adopted by God (so be a princess) than to selfishly act like one in this world and miss out on real life and a great future. šŸ™‚

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