Great Expectations

It has never ceased to amaze me how much emphasis and value people put on other people’s expectations for them. They are usually great, sometimes very low, but all are great in their weight. Growing up in church, people are amazing and beautiful but have very high moral expectations for the rest of the congregation, especially the children. There were expectations on manners, behavior, speach, schooling, responses, actions, everything. That is excellent to some degree as guidance is necessary to grow to be a responsible adult. However, some expectations border on abuse, expecting perfection does not to me seem reasonable. I catch myself reprimanding my children for imperfection and then have to laugh and shift my focus to guiding their moral character and not demanding perfection. I cannot even do perfection, with all my vast experience. LOL And people often expect more of us than they do of themselves. There are exceptions, but these moral obligations are often quite heavy. And because I have this strong independent streak and more energy than most in a room at a given time, I was expected to pretty much do everything. Of course, this kept me out of trouble some and learning and occupied often but the expectation was heavy. And we in our various family groups, be it blood relatives, band family, family of God, or some other group you claim as part of the family, we must never expect or demand more from another than we ourselves are able and willing to give, in accordance to the particular talents and abilities of the people involved. Some people can do more, some less, all can contribute. There are no small jobs in the armed services or in any other part of life. In living up to expectations because of my intelligence and energy that I would be a doctor, and I am, I spent much of my life in school acquiring student loans and learning the joy of no life at all while working and schooling until I got married and had children and then had that life. And I would have loved to be an artist and musician or a great mechanic or farmer like my dad. I would have made less but lived more maybe. I am not saying I regret this. I do not at all. I appreciate every opportunity I have had to grow and learn and help. That is what life is about for me. But expecting that which is impractical is foolish for anyone. Demanding someone be perfect when you are full of imperfections is hypocritical and idiotic and unforgiving. My moral for the moment is: expect only what you yourself are willing to do and let God be their moral compass. They are responsible to Him not you.

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