Wondering About Wandering

I have traveled extensively, more than most but not as much as others. I have traveled all through our great, diverse country as well as abroad (and yes, I have always been annoyed by that word). I also have moved a lot and lived in 6 states (MI, IN, TN, PA, FL, CA) and in many different apartments and houses within those states. I have moved, changing addresses 25 times. I have traveled through or spent vacation or missions time in 3 countries overseas and at least 19 US states (including Hawaii) and Canada. I hope I am finished with the moving now, though probably not with vacationing. I know college and jobs accounted for a lot of changes but I began to wonder why I have wandered around so much. I believe the answer is that I was not ever at peace. I was restless internally for various reasons and being an activist (I was taught to do something about it), I tried a new location, did something different, changed it up. And I was fierce and bold enough to do it. However, those of us who wear our I securities as well as our good and bad stuff so openly to the public are bound to fall prey to those who prey on the open. So, do not envy my lack of fear or reserve. It does not always serve me well. Back to the thoughts at hand. Sometimes people move around a lot, not because they are trying to “find themselves” but because they are trying to find true peace and security and belonging and love. And while we have these things in God and with Him, sometimes we keep that knowledge in our heads and not let it sink into our hearts that He is really the only One able to fill and heal all the parts of us and wants to. We search for an alternate resource that is tangible yet negate the fact that nothing is more tangible than our minds. Our perception guides our reality. One person walks out into a drizzle and complains about the dampness. Another rejoices that her flowers are being watered. It is the perception. Both are right but only one is better off for their perception. Gloominess lends itself to more gloominess. Positivity lends itself to additional positivity. It is how things work. Off of tangent two (sorry about that), I enjoy travel exceedingly but not moving at all anymore. And I have determined that the reason is that I am home now. Not because I have my family or this particular house because those things can be taken away. It is because with God I am always home. He fulfills me. He heals and satisfies. His goodness and blessings humble me. I am able to rest and have peace in Him. I am home.

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