Patience

One of the hardest things in the world to me is patience. I want to accomplish my goals right now. I want to do my job right now. I see no reason to delay. I see no point in procrastination. Now is when I can do it, so now is when I will do it. I do not want to wait. I am driven to perform, driven to accomplish, driven to serve, driven to play, driven to win. But. God doesn’t always see time the way we do. In fact, it is wonderful how often He aligns our timing with His not needing or being limited by time. So, when our timing and strong desire or need for now does not coincide with His plan for us, I should not feel so disappointed. I should not but I do. If I were this unemotional human robot, it would be easy to wait. I would just coldly reprogram my database for delay or snooze or whatever or even (gulp) cancel. But I have those emotion chips in me. And they are enormous. I have passions, drives, internal pushes. So how do you merge those two? How do you switch over to God’s perfect plan for your timing from what you think is the best plan for your timing? How do you contentedly wait for something to happen rather than follow your heart? I guess that is the big question. I guess if I had that answer, it would be easier to accept it. I guess it is one of those things where only one person gets their way and the other needs to bend. So, which one should win? My way/timing or God’s way/timing? If I choose God’s way/timing, then I am obeying Him and trusting in His perfect love to do what is best for me long term. If I trust my own way/timing, I am deciding to place myself before God, AKA idolatry and my not be driven the right way. So, it seems I know the right thing to do, which is wait for God to open the appropriate windows and doors for me to walk through rather than claim to understand more than God does. I just wish I could be a robot once in a while. I am seriously going to ask God about this powerful emotion chip when I see Him.

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