Watching the best and strongest man I have ever known slowly shrivel up is the most difficult thing I have gone through because I love him and know him. To also have someone in your life not care about your pain in helping care for this great man and criticize and complain rather than be honored by the service increases the difficulty. To add pests in the house, trust issues in other arenas, responsibilities of work, teaching and raising children, leading a band, playing piano at church, being a friend to other hurting people and narcissism of seemingly everyone around us adds to chaotic turbulence of life. Am I complaining? No. And let me tell you why. It is my firm belief that I am honored to be in such a position and still be at peace and joy internally, so much so that I can do all these things at once. Where is this peace from? How did I obtain it? Sounds simple, but it was from God. The Holy Spirit in me renews my peace and joy no matter what threatens to undo it. I asked Him too and humbly put down my own control over the situations. I decided rightfully long ago that if I used my own strength, even though I am a strong person, eventually my strength buckles. There is only so much a human can take. We have limitations, though amazingly made. So, understanding this, God allowed me to see that He was the only One big enough to handle any and every complexity and attack that could ever come my way now and forever. So, I pray. God changes things while I do what I can and be as humble as possible. My goal each day is to remember that my being and significance and any good in me is only because God wanted it that way. He loves me because He wants to. There is my strength. My greatest strengths in letting go. The last of worship in life is letting go of one’s agenda (not dreams- that is from Him) and attempting to be a conduit of Him, giving Him His rightful place and serving where given the opportunity to serve. The peace and joy flow freely as a blessing and reward from God in response to our humble obedience and worship. And rightfully so. God is a peaceful, joyous God. He loves me. He loves you. Always has.